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having a cynical moment


Forum: Stillbirth

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  #1  
May 5th, 2009, 11:14 AM
littlebeansmommy's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 695
So I'm having a cynical day today. There are just things that are setting me off pretty easily today. Like scrolling down to my refuge down here, only to find a post on a ddc that I just *had* to open, that was about being disappointed about the gender of the baby. Oh give me a break. At least you've got a baby. And on another board, there was a mom complaining about her DH losing his job and her health issues and I'm thinking, "you've got two healthy kids (one who is a new baby), what could you possibly have to complain about". Grr. Get some perspective people. You think YOU'VE got issues. Let me share mine with you. Mine won't go away. For as long as I live, I will still have my "issue", long after your "issues" have resolved themselves. My baby boy. My baby boy that I will never see again. How is that for an "issue". Grrr.

Sorry, just needing to vent. It's been a long couple of days of just dealing with irriating people and situations.
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  #2  
May 5th, 2009, 12:05 PM
grlpisces's Avatar Dynamite w/ a laser beam
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Girl, you and me both. I posted in the Private forum my absolute anger at someone on a Weight Watchers thread who loudly voiced to her husband that she will be really disappointed if this pregnancy doesn't result in a girl.

WHAT?! SERIOUS?

Vent away girlfriend. We'll listen and probably chime in with our own vents (or two or three ... hundred).

<<HUGS>>
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  #3  
May 5th, 2009, 12:08 PM
heathernoel's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Or *****ing about gaining a couple of pounds or how clothes aren't fitting....

Here's to ya, sister!
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  #4  
May 5th, 2009, 12:15 PM
heathernoel's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I used to care that mommies thought less of me because I'm a c section mommy. Know what? Take the baby out of my nose. I don't care. I want a healthy full term baby.

Oh...this is fun. LOL
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  #5  
May 5th, 2009, 12:59 PM
littlebeansmommy's Avatar Super Mommy
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I like this one too.....the term "velcro baby". I've seen that one a lot on message boards. Moms that have babies that like to be held all the time, but that the moms are getting tired of it, so they call them their velcro baby. H*ll, I'd just like to be able to hold my DS one more time, just once more. Only that's never going to happen. It's too darn bad they have a baby they get to hug and hold and snuggle and kiss any time they want, isn't it?!
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  #6  
May 5th, 2009, 11:28 PM
ang.ie's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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hi everyone! i'm a lurker... i lost my baby at 16 almost 17 weeks... it was still considered a miscarriage and i still haven't come to terms with it..... i post in several different places....i think when we post we aren't thinking about other peoples feelings we just b***h.... don't think maybe someone will drop in who doesn't have there baby or has recently lost a baby... i'm sorry even though i know the pain of multiple losses i never classify my losses with you ladies. i lurk for silent support.... yes i was considered a miscarriage but i felt my baby move... i had a nursery set up.... sorry i'll stop... i just wanted to let you know i don't think anyone thinks of anything but there own stresses when we post.... i have complained about my grouchiness and m/s even though if it dissapeared i'd be a hysterical wreck! i'm sorry if you ladies were offended! i'm especially sorry for your losses! i hope all of you have healthy full term babies! I didn't mean to intrude... honestly when i read about peoples complaints i try not to associate it with my own life! i truely pray that they never feel the pain of loss of a baby/child and the only complaint they will have is there baby doesn't want to be put down or there clothes don't fit good luck ladies!
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  #7  
May 6th, 2009, 07:17 AM
Ben,Logan&Kaitlin'sMommy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I had a "friend" on msn that used to complain to me that the baby she was carrying was sticking it's arm or foot into her ribs etc and I went off on her becuase I had just lost Rebecca. I am with Heather take the **** thing out of my nose if it gives me a healthy baby.

It has been 6 years for me and I have had two healthy babies that both gave me a run for my money - Benjamin spend 6 weeks in NICU and at 18 weeks I was asked to terminate Logan for health concerns in his brain that he doesn't have, they made an immature decision - sigh -

stupid people SUCK!
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  #8  
May 6th, 2009, 08:27 AM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
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I don't know, I've done my share of complaining during both my subsequent pregnancies AND about Erin starting the terrible twos.

Honestly, I think I would have been very disappointed if Erin had been a boy. Because I would have had to put away all the girly stuff I got for Cora, so it would have been an extension of my grief of Cora. YES my top priority would have been a healthy live baby, but I would have had a hard time had she been a boy. And I would have felt very guilty for every moment of it.

In the end I have decided that it's okay to complain a little. It's the way you keep yourself sane most of the time. But that's because I'm everlastingly grateful for every moment. I'd much rather have a screaming 2 year old to complain about than not. But sometimes, even that gratitude doesn't end the stress of a toddler screaming at you, that you just need to vent about so you don't explode.
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  #9  
May 6th, 2009, 08:36 AM
heathernoel's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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As I kept saying during Jonah's pregnancy...."I was just grateful to be pregnant that day"
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  #10  
May 6th, 2009, 09:10 AM
BakingMommy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I was like this for months. I still have my moemnts where hearing someone who I know hasn't been through anything traumatic complain really irritates me. But I have been complaining about my weights and that I won't show for a long time and stuff. I think everyone complains at some point.

But I do agree that sometimes, whether right or wrong, it's just annoying or rubs you the wrong way to listen to other people gripe. Mostly my issue is with people I see as not having had to go through anything trying in life. Which is sort of judgmental of me but I'm still working my way through the grieving process and I'm not perfect. But feel free to vent away!!!!
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