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Crying at the grocery store


Forum: Stillbirth

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  #1  
May 5th, 2009, 04:18 PM
rebeccabaltimore and more's Avatar (rebeccabaltimore)
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They keep the Jewish memorial candles next to the Mother's Day card section. Picking out Mother's Day cards for mom and MIL, I saw the cards for first time mothers. Instead of buying Grandma cards for mom and MIL I get to buy Yarzheit candles. I think the grocery store manager was concerned to have a customer crying in the greeting card section.

I'm going to invent a line of greeting cards for grieving parents on major holidays.
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  #2  
May 5th, 2009, 07:24 PM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rebeccabaltimore View Post
They keep the Jewish memorial candles next to the Mother's Day card section. Picking out Mother's Day cards for mom and MIL, I saw the cards for first time mothers. Instead of buying Grandma cards for mom and MIL I get to buy Yarzheit candles. I think the grocery store manager was concerned to have a customer crying in the greeting card section.

I'm going to invent a line of greeting cards for grieving parents on major holidays.
You know, I saw the first time mother cards when I was getting cards for my mom and MIL and they made me sad too. 3 years and 2 kids later.

I totally agree with you about the grieving parents cards. It's something that totally needs to happen.
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  #3  
May 5th, 2009, 08:19 PM
lunarmagic's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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There are NO good cards for this kind of loss, for us.

I'm sorry about the juxtaposition of the candles and the cards. The grocery store has always been a hard place for me to be in after my loss, not really sure why.
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  #4  
May 5th, 2009, 08:24 PM
rebeccabaltimore and more's Avatar (rebeccabaltimore)
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I was also surprised that they don't have cards for people who have lost their mothers and struggle like us on Mother's Day. I think that we aren't a very grief-friendly culture.
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  #5  
May 5th, 2009, 08:24 PM
rebeccabaltimore and more's Avatar (rebeccabaltimore)
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double post.
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Last edited by rebeccabaltimore and more; May 5th, 2009 at 08:28 PM.
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  #6  
May 5th, 2009, 08:51 PM
lunarmagic's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rebeccabaltimore View Post
I was also surprised that they don't have cards for people who have lost their mothers and struggle like us on Mother's Day. I think that we aren't a very grief-friendly culture.
Oh we are definitely not. I think that's part of the reason we get so many comments about how to "move on" and "it's for the best" and general encouragements to stop feeling bad. It's still not socially acceptable to grieve. People feel very uncomfortable with the concept and like to push it behind closed doors. Our culture likes to focus only on the good things and exclude the not-so-pleasant things.... as if that will somehow make them go away.
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  #7  
May 6th, 2009, 06:47 AM
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I agree and I am sure that is why they don't have cards like that. It is such a taboo subject and people have this incessant need to talk only about the joys in life and ignore the heartbreak or minimize it, 'there there you have had your cry not get on with life'. It puts pressure on moms like us to stop grieving or makes you feel something is wrong because you still have sad days years later. Sorry I went off topic. I am sorry the candles were next to the cards.
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  #8  
May 6th, 2009, 08:14 AM
Ben,Logan&Kaitlin'sMommy's Avatar Super Moderator
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I have been to bigger stores that have cards - like hallmark or carlton cards and they have grieving cards
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  #9  
May 6th, 2009, 08:33 AM
claire1979's Avatar mummy to a special angel
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i went to the shop to buy a card for jessica on her angelversary and found nothing i think they should have cards for angels when its there angelversary i would love something like that too
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  #10  
May 6th, 2009, 09:21 AM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ben & Logan's Mommy View Post
I have been to bigger stores that have cards - like hallmark or carlton cards and they have grieving cards
I've seen cards of support for when the loss actually happens, but I've never seen an "I'm so sorry that you don't have your child/mother with you this Mother's Day" card, or "I know that this anniversary is hard for you, and I want to say I'm sorry again" card. I'll have to go look at Hallmark next time I'm in the mall.
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  #11  
May 6th, 2009, 10:23 AM
BakingMommy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I think about stuff they should make for grieving parents all the time. And that is one of them! I also think stores should carry memorial items specifically made for grieving parents and stuff. Like baby books for stillborn babies and babies who passed away not long after a live birth, etc. Alot of memorial items are nice, but you usually have to order them online and honestly so many of them are pricey. I only plan on getting something every year around his birthday.

I also think they could make cute yet "solemn" things for babies' gravces and stuff, like stuffed animals, blankies, figures, etc.

Those first time Mother's Day cards gut me too. I'm sorry Rebecca
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  #12  
May 6th, 2009, 05:48 PM
heathernoel's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Every mother's dy since Mom died has SUCKED! It's not that I don't appreciate my three musketeer's , but (and I'm sorry to offend) seeing mothers and daughters out together SUCKS A((. We were best friends. I hurt for her even more on those days.

Each year we take the kids up to Hilliard and put more flowers out. This year, we are going to give her an extra angel for Jonah.

Happy Freaking Mother's Day.

Oh, did that sound bitter? I'm truly sorry. This week just sucks
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