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Forum: Stillbirth

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  #1  
May 12th, 2009, 09:59 AM
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: CT
Posts: 982
Had my postpartum checkup yesterday. It ended up being 3hrs because we were having a little mini therapy session with the doctor. I love this doctor so we were just talking talking talking. Everything looks good physically, we didn't get any more information on how Joey died because we declined autopsy. But she said that with his omphalocele and the SUA and the cyst on the cord there was plenty that could have been wrong in a vascular sense that could have contributed to his death, maybe not allowed him to handle something that a healthy baby would have, but it isn't something they would have been able to see without autopsy. They are still leaning toward the nuchal cord for cause of death.

Another thing I'm annoyed at is that she wants us to wait 9 months at the very least to try again, she'd prefer a year. I have recently become absolutely obsessed with having another baby and dh and I were hoping to try again this summer. But she said the best chance of having a healthy placenta etc would be 18months between deliveries. I opted to get 6months of birth control pills because even though I was just planning on charting to avoid until we started ttc, emotionally I'm not stable enough to be reliable. It would be too much of a temptation to take a risk each month because the desier for another baby is so strong. I figure God can get past birth control if we are REALLY meant to have a baby sooner Its just annoying though because so many people have babies less than 18months apart and they turn out fine! My dad and aunt are 11months apart, and I see so many people who have a baby pretty close to 12months after their loss, like they wait about 3months to start trying agian, even when its been a full term loss...I feel like I'm going to be stuck until we can try again...I feel like trying again and looking forward to something will be such a huge part of my healing, I can't believe it has to be delayed so long.

So a question: if you had a loss in the 3rd trimester (others too, but i don't know if the physical aspects are different birthing a term baby or not in reference to doctor's recommendations) how long did the doctor tell you to wait and how long did you actually wait? I'm not sure also if it makes a difference that we are coming off of a high risk pregnancy with an omphalocele, SUA, cord cyst but normal genetics. Opinions? Thoughts? Thanks ladies. I told the doctor about you all and how wonderful it is to be able to share with such caring women. She thought it was great that we have each other.
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Kathryn
Married to my best friend Tom since 2004 (together since 1999)
Mommy to two little boys:
Jamie ~ 7-12-04 ~ fun, crazy, transformer loving tough-guy mama's boy
and
Joey ~ 4-4-09 ~ born sleeping ~ held under my heart for 40wk1d, in my arms for just 6 short hours but he will be in my heart forever
And finally holding my little girl,Felicity Rose, Born into Daddy's loving hands on June 9, 2010

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  #2  
May 12th, 2009, 10:11 AM
rebeccabaltimore and more's Avatar (rebeccabaltimore)
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 1,842
I was told to wait at least 2-3 months. My doctor said that if I got pregnant any sooner I'd be absolutely guaranteed to have a miscarriage.
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  #3  
May 12th, 2009, 12:43 PM
BakingMommy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I was 25 weeks when I had Roald so we were told to wait 3 months. We waited 4.

But since you were full term I think the uterus, cervix, etc. does need a little extra time to get back to normal and heal completely, kwim?

I would say use your 6 months of BC pills, then go off them for a cycle then start trying to conceive. So I'm suggesting 7 months until you start trying again. I think the doctor's suggestion of 9 months sounds good to me (I know Jenalee's doctors tried to tell her to wait 18 months!!! YEAH RIGHT!), but then again I would be JUST like you and be scared of having to go through the pain of 9 months without trying.

So I'm basically saying I think you should wait half a year. But I know it's hard.
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  #4  
May 12th, 2009, 01:21 PM
claire1979's Avatar mummy to a special angel
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i waited 10 months before trying for keeley took a few more months to catch on
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  #5  
May 12th, 2009, 01:39 PM
littlebeansmommy's Avatar Super Mommy
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My original doc told me to wait 3 months to "grieve" and to allow my body to get back into some sort of shape. But I'm like you, I see so many women who have back to back pregnancies and have everything be alright, that I sought out another opinion. The second doc I talked to said it was great if we waited, but if we really wanted to try, that there was nothing wrong with that either. As it has ended up, my body is making me wait anyway....I'm onto month 4 of trying. Go with your gut. I feel like if and when my body is ready, I'll get pregnant.
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  #6  
May 12th, 2009, 04:36 PM
AliciaF's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I had a loss at 20 weeks and was told to wait 1 regular cycle before we could try again.
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  #7  
May 12th, 2009, 05:21 PM
lunarmagic's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Wow, I'm so glad your doctor is treating you so well emotionally, to sit and talk for that long.

As for how long to wait... I was told I could start TTC soon as I got my cycles back, *but* I'm also somewhat of a special case in that the doctors and I knew I had very little chance of actually getting pregnant on my own (and I wanted to take advantage of any little chance we had).

In some ways I'm a little thankful I had a year without getting pregnant, because I feel like I'm emotionally in a MUCH better place than I was a year ago. However, the waiting has been killing me, so I can't say this is what I'd chose, if I actually had a choice.
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  #8  
May 12th, 2009, 10:59 PM
Proud Momma
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Posts: 3,781
We lost Katrina at 23w and were told to wait a minimum 3 months. It's now been 9 months and we're still not pregnant.

I think it's great to see that you have such a supportive Dr. that you feel comfortable talking with.
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  #9  
May 13th, 2009, 05:02 AM
lex1078's Avatar Waiting patiently....
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We lost the girls at 23w and I think my Dr. told us to wait 6 months which is initially what we were going to do. 6 months to a year we were going to wait, but I got struck with baby fever and we are TTC now and for the past 2 months or so. I have switched Dr.'s though and they ok'd TTC. What happened to the girls though wasn't genetic or anything, it was the placenta and it's happened with other twin pregnancies so it was just not our luck so to say.

As for you, I don't know much about what happened. I think you should at least wait the 6 months. Give your body a chance to heal completely. It wasn't anything genetic so I think you should be ok at that point. But I'm no Dr. I'm happy though that you have such an understanding Dr. I hope you keep your relationship open. I'm hope if in 6 months you went and spoke with the Dr. she would understand your determination about getting pregnant so soon.
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  #10  
May 13th, 2009, 07:38 AM
TanyaM's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Location: Alberta, Canada
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We lost our son, Trace, at 37 weeks. Medically, we were told to wait at least 3 months to try again. Emotionally, our Dr. recommended 6 months to 1 year. I thought I was ready after 3 months but when the actual idea of TTC came up I realized that I still wasn't ready emotionally. I, personally, couldn't imagine having another baby inside of me when his first birthday came around. I wanted the first year to be his. Sorry, I don't know if that makes any sense. As his birthday came and went we realized just how much we still wanted to add another child to our family and we started trying. It took about 6 months to finally conceive again and our beautiful baby girl joined us 9 months later.
It is such a tough decision to make and unfortunately, you and your dh are the only ones who can tell you when the time is right. Others can make suggestions but they can't tell you when to try again.
Good luck!
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  #11  
May 13th, 2009, 05:14 PM
SimplyJenalee's Avatar Super Mommy
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Location: Michigan
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I lost my Alyssa at 40 weeks on December 1st. The doctor wanted me to wait 18 months...I told her no way so she said wait atleast 6 months...Well here I am pregnant again...we waited about 3 1/2 months. I did have all intentions of waiting the full 6 months, but I guess my body had other plans. I just an an appt with my doctor and he said that 3 months is a good amount of time for your body to heal, the rest of the time is mostly emotional healing.
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