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  #1  
May 12th, 2009, 11:13 PM
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Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 3,781
I'm wondering what you ladies think about me going to a pregnancy loss support group 9 months after losing Katrina. Jon and I went 2 times after we lost Katrina (before our psychologist) and it seemed to help by letting me just let it all out. I'm obviously still terribly saddened about losing her and although the pain has somewhat lessened, I will always and forever hurt without her here with me.

I guess I just worry about going and depressing the other people there, who may be new to losing their baby. I don't want them to think that they're still going to be feeling crappy and depressed after 9 months of losing their baby (although it is unfortunately reality).

I guess I just feel as if I need to talk about her again and although I have you girls, sometimes it's just nice to actually talk instead of type. And people just don't want to hear me talk about her or they get all awkward when I bring her up - as they think I've magically moved on.

So do you think it's weird that I want to go and do you think I should leave out the fact that we're now having a tough time ttc again?
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  #2  
May 12th, 2009, 11:23 PM
claire1979's Avatar mummy to a special angel
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i dont think its weird at all hun 9 months is still quite soon tbh id go to a support group now 4 years later.
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  #3  
May 13th, 2009, 05:09 AM
lex1078's Avatar Waiting patiently....
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I think you should go Stephanie. Don't worry about what any one else has to say at 9 months past your loss. It's a tragic loss to everyone and if anyone needs help, they should get it. I wouldn't mention right off that you are TTC unless someone else mentions it. It might be too soon for some people there. But you should go to help with the grieving of Katrina. No offense to the people around you, but they just don't understand and, unfortunately won't until it's in their laps, and to hear about it constantly is hard and frustrating for them. I hope you do go to this support group. I think it will help you a lot. Talking to new people who understand your hurt should be refreshing to you. KWIM?
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  #4  
May 13th, 2009, 05:28 AM
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Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,304
I don't think it is weird at all. I went years later because I needed to and no one got more depressed because I was still sad. I should have talked about Jake a lot more from the start instead of ignoring how felt to please others. I bet it will help to have other moms irl to share your story with and know they will not change the subject or expect you to get over your loss.
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  #5  
May 13th, 2009, 07:41 AM
TanyaM's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Alberta, Canada
Posts: 2,304
I would go too. I have attended a local pregnancy and infant loss support group since the month we lost our son which will be 4 years ago next month. We may start to move forward in our lives but we will never "get over" the loss of our child.
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  #6  
May 13th, 2009, 07:52 AM
rebeccabaltimore and more's Avatar (rebeccabaltimore)
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 1,842
I would go - in fact I am going, tonight. It's been 3 months but my sister found a support group specific to my situation (termination due to poor prenatal diagnosis).

And I wouldn't hide the fact that you are TTC. That's what you really need to talk about. It's not your job to protect other group members - led the group moderator worry about that. Holding back while you are there kind of defeats the purpose of going. I'm willing to bet that there are other people in the support group going through what you are going through right now. It's a very common concern.
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  #7  
May 13th, 2009, 03:04 PM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
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Location: Littleton, CO
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I totally agree with Rebecca. Don't try to protect the others, you go if you feel you need to.

After all, do Jen or Beth or I make you depressed like that when you see our pain? I hope not. I hope that you can see the positive sides of it. The fact that we have moved forward, and everything. I bet that's what others would see too.

If you want/need to, then go.

I totally agree with Rebecca. Don't try to protect the others, you go if you feel you need to.

After all, do Jen or Beth or I make you depressed like that when you see our pain? I hope not. I hope that you can see the positive sides of it. The fact that we have moved forward, and everything. I bet that's what others would see too.

If you want/need to, then go.
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  #8  
May 13th, 2009, 03:33 PM
lunarmagic's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: MA
Posts: 4,037
I *started* going to a support group over 6 months after his birth. I'm still going now. In the group I'm in there is a wide variety of women... people who are years down the road, people who had their loss a year ago, and people who just recently lost. It is always interesting to see the contrasts. Some people seem to have healed more than others. If you find a good group, then they will welcome you and support you when you need it.
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  #9  
May 13th, 2009, 10:13 PM
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Join Date: Jan 2009
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I went to it today. I forgot how hard it is telling her story to people who don't know me / the situation. I'm so used to just typing it out and because no one really talks about Katrina anymore, I haven't had to tell my story recently. But it felt good to talk about her again.

My only problem is that I work on Wednesdays normally and it's hard for me to get those off, but I think it would be good for me to go to it as much as I can.
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