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I have an amazing husband, amazing family, and wonderful friends. But I just feel so lonely and empty. I'm missing the one thing in my life that could seriously make me soooo completely happy.
Not very much excites me anymore. It's just so emotionally draining on me and it's hard looking forward to doing anything. I get bored easily and it's just tough focusing on, well, basically anything. People have to repeat things to me like 3 times before I finally hear what they're saying and even then I forget things easily or still don't really hear them.
Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love hanging out with all the great people in my life, and that does make me sooo happy, but after a while it just gets to me and I'm reminded of what I don't have. It's amazing how I can go from having such a great time to feeling so down, in only a matter of minutes.
Bleh has a name, actually. It's called anhedonia - the inability to find pleasure in what used to make you happy. It's a symptom of grief, as well as several mood disorders. I have both a mood disorder and I'm grieving, so I know exactly how you feel. In my case, therapy and medication really seem to be helping. I know you are in therapy too - I think that will definitely help.
I can totally relate. Sometimes it's like living someone else's life and just watching myself go through the actions. I keep reminding myself I'm a couple of weeks out of the event, and that soon enough I'll rejoin life as I can, but even a year after losing Marshall, while pregnant, I felt that way.
my thanks to Claire1979 for the awesome siggy!!