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I dunno how much longer I can be nice....


Forum: Stillbirth

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  #1  
May 20th, 2009, 02:00 PM
BellaBellski's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: DC, BC
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to my sister when she says sh*t like she says.... ugh. We all know My sister has issues with not acknowledging my son/my loss/my pain.... but really today kinda pushed it too far.

She has laughed at my pain, she always refers to this baby as my second, and it's not, it's my third & just makes dumb, non-thinking comments all the time that I always shrug off because I know she doesn't mean anything but today... ugh. We were talking on the phone and she made like 3 insensitive comments about 2nd baby, when I try for my 3rd, blah blah blah....little things that irritate me......but then she started talking about how she was getting all these boys clothes handed down from my cousin and how its "really awesome having the only boy in the family!" .... I'm done. I can't be nice anymore. One more comment like that and I'm going to tell her where to go!!! UGH! She didn't even catch herself, she just said it and chuckled like it was nothing. My Son Died. A whopping 9 months ago & you have the F*&*ING nerve to make a comment like that!? GAAAAAHHHH!!!
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  #2  
May 20th, 2009, 02:29 PM
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oh my god I would be so hurt. AND LIVID inside.

My SIL was like that, and didn't even REALIZE it. It has made me harbor a lot of ill feelings towards her. Like less than 3 weeks after Logan died, I had Ella with me up at my grandmas and she comes in with her two (1 year old and newborn) and says "it is SO much harder with TWO!" which to me was a slap in the face, almost like "you have it easy with only one". As IF I would think "oh thank goodness Logan isn't here and I don't have to lug TWO of them around".

***? I can't believe your sister would mention having the only boy. That is TOTALLY inappropriate and blatantly hurtful! And honestly I'd like to slap her right now FOR you!

I am SO sorry!
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  #3  
May 20th, 2009, 02:42 PM
BellaBellski's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by laurakatee View Post
oh my god I would be so hurt. AND LIVID inside.

My SIL was like that, and didn't even REALIZE it. It has made me harbor a lot of ill feelings towards her. Like less than 3 weeks after Logan died, I had Ella with me up at my grandmas and she comes in with her two (1 year old and newborn) and says "it is SO much harder with TWO!" which to me was a slap in the face, almost like "you have it easy with only one". As IF I would think "oh thank goodness Logan isn't here and I don't have to lug TWO of them around".

***? I can't believe your sister would mention having the only boy. That is TOTALLY inappropriate and blatantly hurtful! And honestly I'd like to slap her right now FOR you!

I am SO sorry!

ugggh wth do people think sometimes??? It's so hard to control the anger when they make comments like that, isn't it??
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Proud Mommy to Mattea Lilian born February 21st 2007 - 7lbs 14oz &
Owen Markus James born October 21st 2009 - 10lbs
Forever loving & Missing ~Damian~ born into heaven August 13th 2008
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  #4  
May 20th, 2009, 03:20 PM
rebeccabaltimore and more's Avatar (rebeccabaltimore)
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Bearing in mind that I am the woman with no self-restraint, I think you should tell her exactly how you feel NOW, and not wait for her to say something else stupid. You'll be better off telling her how you feel now, while semi-rational and somewhat calm, instead of when you are angrier. You'll communicate more effectively now and she'll be more likely to listen. People's hearing comprehension seems to disappear when someone explodes on them (even when they deserve it, which she really does). She'll be less defensive if you tell her now.
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  #5  
May 20th, 2009, 04:09 PM
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I agree tell her now. If you keep silent you will become bitter and angry and it won't do you any good. Or it is it easy write her a letter and give it to her. I feel so angry for you! I can't believe she is not more sensitive to you and would make obvious hurtful comments. But people are like that unfortunately. I am just so sorry your sister is still saying such hurtful things.
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  #6  
May 20th, 2009, 04:18 PM
BellaBellski's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I talked to her time & again, nice & calm about including him, about the fact that this IS number 3, about everything... she just doesn't get it. I shouldn't have to tell her EVERY time we talk... you know what I mean?? ugh...
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Forever loving & Missing ~Damian~ born into heaven August 13th 2008

Last edited by BellaBellski; May 20th, 2009 at 04:21 PM.
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  #7  
May 20th, 2009, 04:39 PM
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I'm sorry your sister doesn't acknowledge D I don't think I could handle that if anyone in my family thought that way.

I just don't understand why some people never see our lost babies as a person / someone / a baby. Makes me mad too
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  #8  
May 20th, 2009, 05:41 PM
lunarmagic's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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OMG I can look past a lot of things, but saying she has the ONLY boy?!?!?! Ummmm no, I think not. That is not cool.
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  #9  
May 20th, 2009, 11:37 PM
claire1979's Avatar mummy to a special angel
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u r a strong woman hun cause i would have gone straight in a gave her a piece of my mind and somewhat more.
im so sorry shes being a b***h
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  #10  
May 21st, 2009, 02:39 AM
heathernoel's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Maitland, Florida
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"you have the only boy HERE. Mine went straight to Heavena and isi looking down on your children. Isn't that great? This family has TWO great boys"

The I'd call her a b**** go take a chill pill, and probably leave.

LOL
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