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I got cornered after school


Forum: Stillbirth

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  #1  
May 21st, 2009, 02:28 PM
heathernoel's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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by one of my best girl friends and the principal, coming to me as a friend. They are worried about me, etc...

I asked them how I should be acting, and they didn't know. I told them to be patient, it was my first week at work, I'm missing two kids, and I'm out of sorts. I'm also on xanax, am a bit forgetful, and I'm leaking like a sieve.

On one hand, so nice of them. On the other, I don't know how to respond to that. Am I not doing what I need to as a grieving mother?
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  #2  
May 21st, 2009, 02:35 PM
NutMeg76's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Geez, even othe rwomen going through the same thing at the same time don't know how YOU should at. I dn't even know how I should be acting.

I have to say I am sorry that you are leaking. I don't think my milk really even came in. I was painful a bit last week, and I am tender now, but no signs of leaking.
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  #3  
May 21st, 2009, 06:21 PM
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I don't know you very well, but I think you're doing a great job! I know I wouldn't be holding up very well if it were me!!!!

My heart hurts for the pain you're in. Jonah is one of the angels included in my prayer when my alarm goes off...just thought I'd let you know...

Always with hugs!
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  #4  
May 21st, 2009, 06:38 PM
liz bevan's Avatar Super Mommy
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I am sure that they meant well.
I will be thinking of you on sunday.
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  #5  
May 21st, 2009, 11:25 PM
claire1979's Avatar mummy to a special angel
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i was worried about the school run after i was the woman who's baby dies while still in he womb the woman who had a stillbirth, the one they were all gossiping about behind my back! its so very hard hun but how do u grieve cause i dont know either just go with your feelings at that time, thinking of u and your boys on saturday
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  #6  
May 22nd, 2009, 05:07 AM
lex1078's Avatar Waiting patiently....
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You are going through the most difficult grieving times in life right now. Two babies not here with you has got to be the most painful. I feel so bad, I think of you every day. I personally think you are handling this extremely well. You are right to not know how to respond. It is nice that they are checking on you though.
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  #7  
May 22nd, 2009, 07:46 AM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
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I got it from both sides. On bad days, people were worried about me. On good days, people were worried that I was burying it all. I couldn't win, so I just avoided all but my closest friends for a while. I don't think there's any one right way. There are as many ways to grieve as there are women grieving.

Nice of them to care though, right?
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  #8  
May 22nd, 2009, 09:23 AM
heathernoel's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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You are right, Brittanie, and I'm so glad they do care. I just feel like it's another thing I have to do...walk on eggshells around them so that "everything is fine" comes across, kwim?
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  #9  
May 22nd, 2009, 12:25 PM
NutMeg76's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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This is exactly why I do't want to go back to work next week! Maybe I should have my doctor read this thread...lol
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  #10  
May 22nd, 2009, 01:48 PM
Angel_Maker
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I experienced the SAME THING after the loss of Asher and Noah. I am a teacher and took a full 12 weeks off because I KNEW there was no way I could "deal" with what I was going through. It was just awful.

I had several family members (on DH's side) telling me how HORRIBLY I was handling things and how I needed to "get over it" because I'm "young" and can "have another baby"....things like that just made me sick inside and there are still two people in DH's family that I have NOT spoken to since December 2007 (his aunt and his sister) They said such hurtful things to me and I can never forgive them, not that they've asked for forgiveness


I'm so sorry that you're having to go through this. It is obvious that their intentions were good, and I'm sure they feel lost and don't know how to help.

Just continue to move forward, one "baby step" at a time. I actually needed that reminder so often that I got the words tattooed on me so I'd never forget. You're in my prayers hunnie, today and every day
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  #11  
May 23rd, 2009, 06:51 PM
Ben,Logan&Kaitlin'sMommy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I took 3 months off after Rebecca died and when I went back to work it was a new job that no one knew unless I told them - it was better that way for me -I am glad you have firneds that are going to be there for you - and only you know if you are doing it right Heather
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