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I know that Eddy and I are very lucky. We got a lot of wonderful photos from NILMDTS, I gave Genevive a lovely bath. We spent a lot of time with her. But I still sit around thinking it wasn't enough. What regrets or wishes do you have?
My biggest is :
I wish I had done her foot and handprints myself. I would have done several sets and made sure they were perfect (the one set we got her hands are smudged). That way I could have a set for the scrapbook, and for a picture frame. one set just isn't enough.
I would have spent more time with her, We did spend a lot, but I knew I wasn't really ready to give her back. I felt pressured even though no one was pressuring me.
I would have insisted they do his handprints.
I would have spent more time with him (I gave him back when his eyes started bleeding)
I think I should have unwrapped him but I also think that would have been hard because his skin was so badly damaged from him having been gone so long.
I was in such shock. I walked into the hospital thinking I had two healthy babies and was just getting checked out-to being told my son was dead and I'd be having an emergency c-section to deliver Logan and get Ella out alive. When I did get to hold him I'd just been through a c-section where I'd been drugged because I was freaking out, not to mention it was the middle of the night and I was absolutely mentally and physically exhausted and shocked..
b/g twins Logan and Ella
Logan stillborn, loved beyond measure
My things I would have done differently had to do with before he was born. I would have gone in to get checked sooner when I felt his movements dwindling. But, I had an anterior placenta so I thought I just didn't feel him. I *know there was nothing they could do to save him, but I still wish I had done something, maybe they could have helped him live longer.
When they persisted in questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, "Let the person among you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her." John 8:7 Sail Back to Me
I wish with all my heart that I would have taken a ton more pictures and would have undressed Robert and memorized every detail. I also wish I had taken more time with him and had him sleep in the same room with us. I wish I could've dressed him myself and put my own little hat on him... Oh what I would give to go back and see him again
*A HUGE thank you to Maitri for my beautiful siggy!
I found it very, very difficult to concentrate fully on Noah when I finally did hold him. I had a C-section just two hours prior so that both Noah and Julia could be delivered. I was recovering back in the very delivery room they had checked me into when the perinatologist told me he couldn't find Noah's heartbeat. I was in a horrible frame of mind because I didn't expect to deliver two months early let alone hear that my son was dead.
* I wish I had known about NILMDTS.
* I wish I had more time to hold Noah (there was a limit because we had elected to have an autopsy performed on him).
* I wish I had taken pictures of ALL of him and not just his blanket-wrapped body.
* I wish I had his handprints; his hands and fingers were perfect.
* I wish I got to bathe him, to dress him, to kiss him more than I did
* I wish I didn't have to hear my OB tell the Anesthesiologist "call it" followed by the Anesthesiologists announcement of "10:41 a.m." I vividly remember that detail in the OR; it was when my OB delivered Noah.
Thank you to Jaidynsmum for my beautiful siggie!
I'm Barb, Mom to Angel on Earth Julia Rose (7*22*08), her twin brother Angel in Heaven Noah (7*22*08), and rainbow baby Sydney Noelle (12*4*09).
*a special 'thank you' to all the blinkie creators for their talents*
I wish, oh I wish, that I had taken up my coworker on her offer to take my place at work the night she passed, so I could go to the hospital because I felt like something "wasn't right." I decided to just wait and see what happened in the morning. By morning, my baby was dead.
I wish I had known about NILMDTS.
I wish I had a picture of both me and DH holding her together.
I regret not holding her right away. The nurse asked me as soon as she was born if I would like to hold her first and then dress her or dress her first and then hold her and I said dress her first. I wish I had held her first and seen her entire body. It was so overwhelming for me at that moment and I couldn't think clearly and I had her cute little pink outfit ready that at the time I wanted her put in that right away. But I never took a look at her whole body and for that, I will forever regret I am so grateful that I did hold her head as I was literally giving birth (may sound weird, but it gave me comfort).
I also regret not having more photos of the 3 of us as a family. We have 2 I think and we both look so miserable (b/c like Rebecca said, we thought we weren't supposed to smile while holding her.) As much of a loss it is to us, she is still the joy in our lives, so I really, really wish I could have smiled in the pictures.) It's funny though, I was smiling the whole day while holding her (I made sure not to cry too much b/c I wanted to cherish every single moment), but as soon as the camera came out, I didn't think it would be appropriate to smile. grrr.
Last edited by LaLaLa1; May 28th, 2009 at 10:22 PM.
I wish a lot of things too. I was on mag and so out of it! My eyes were so fuzzy I couldn't focus on him.
I wish I'd undressed him and looked closely at all of him.
I wish I'd known about NILMDTS
I wish I had pictures of me smiling with him
I wish I had a picture of my husband holding him (he didn't want one)
Lots lots more
I wish I could have gotten better pictures. The disposable camera that the hospital used gave me a bunch of crappy pictures. The nurse taking the pictures didn't do a good job either. I would have liked to have taken my own pictures.
I wish I knew I could have given them an outfit to put them in. The hospital just wrapped them in blankets.
I wish I spent more time with them. I was so scared. I held them before I was transferred to my room for the night, but the nurse wouldn't leave me and DH alone and I didn't like that.
I wish I could have gotten better footprints too.
There's so much more and I don't want to drone on for too long.