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Forum: Stillbirth

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  #1  
June 1st, 2009, 07:05 PM
NutMeg76's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Did you use a name you had already picked out for your baby? Did you have a name and use your favorite?

We had picked Colm just the week before we learned that he had died. We used it because it was HIS name, and it still belonged to him. It means 'dove' so it seemed so appropriate.

My son Michael who is six told me that we should have given him a different name because he likes the name Colm and we should have saved it for another baby. He actually first asked if we would name another baby Colm if he had another baby brother, and I told him, 'no' because it was already used.

So just wondering what you did. Or if you had anyone make a comment like that? Of course it did not upset me because he is so young, but if an adult had said that i might have punched them...lol. He also told me he would like us to change his name to Colm...lol
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  #2  
June 1st, 2009, 07:08 PM
littlebeansmommy's Avatar Super Mommy
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We used the name we had picked out for the baby. Since we had already been calling DS #2 by his name for almost 10 weeks by the time he was gone, it didn't feel right in changing it at the last minute.
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  #3  
June 1st, 2009, 07:18 PM
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We had a girl named picked out but weren't sure about a boy name, I liked Jake and dh didn't and when he was born my dh let me have my way.
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  #4  
June 1st, 2009, 07:37 PM
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We were originally deciding on Rachel for a girl and Brandon for a boy (I know, not very unique, but we both LOVE those names).

Anyway, when we found out that she wasn't going to make it, we put a LOT of effort into choosing the perfect name for her. It's not that we didn't want to give her the name Rachel, it's just that we wanted to choose a name with special meaning - just for her. That's how we came across Katrina (mind you, I've always loved this name also, but was usually right after Rachel on my list of faves).

The reason we chose the name Katrina is because it means pure and in some books we read, it means pure love. The love we have for Katrina is the most pure my husband and I have ever felt

With regards to choosing the name and getting comments on it, well we did have a few people say stupid things to us like why would we name her after such a devastating hurricane or something stupid along those lines. When people said that to me, I had just lost her or was about to go in and give birth, so I was not in a good mood and I just flipped out on them. Dimwits.

And it's funny, I think she actually looked like a Katrina. I don't know how, but it just suited her sooo well

Last edited by LaLaLa1; June 1st, 2009 at 07:41 PM.
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  #5  
June 1st, 2009, 07:49 PM
NutMeg76's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I love your story for Katrina, and it does make sense like us using Colm because it means dove, which is a very pure thing in my mind. The dove often represents salvation, etc so I jsut feel like it is a name for someone in heaven, you know?

Ever since the morning we woke up at home after he was born we have heard a dove outside our window. I see two or three when I am walking to or from the bus stop. I love it because I feel like he sends them to visit me and remind me that he is happy. We feel like we have 3 people looking over us from heaven david's dad, my grandmother and Colm, so to see the 3 doves is just cool.
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  #6  
June 1st, 2009, 07:52 PM
rebeccabaltimore and more's Avatar (rebeccabaltimore)
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We spent 17 weeks disagreeing about names, except for Alice as a girl's first name (after my gram). We called him Tadpole. When we knew we were losing him, we were suddenly able to pick names easily. We decided to save Alice for a living child and chose Emily Samantha (we just liked those names). If it was a boy, we chose Frank for a middle name after my uncle, and Ethan we just picked out of the blue. Somehow we just KNEW that was his name - it's kinda spooky actually.
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  #7  
June 1st, 2009, 08:34 PM
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We had names picked out a long time ago. So at the big ultrasound they said it was a boy and his name was Devin right then and there, and it was for the next 18 weeks. When he died... well there wasn't a thought in our head for changing it. Later we really really felt the grief of losing the name as well as the son, but we know that was his name.
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  #8  
June 1st, 2009, 08:48 PM
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We called Cora by name since we confirmed she was a girl. Like Nat, I really had to grieve the name too. For about half a second I thought about naming her something else and using the name for another baby.

But...it was her name. She wasn't anybody else and nobody else was Cora. That's all there was to it.
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  #9  
June 1st, 2009, 09:20 PM
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We'd had Clark picked out for a couple of weeks. From the beginning we knew that if the baby was a boy we'd use the middle name Douglas after my Dad.

When he was born, it didn't feel right to take away that name just because he wouldn't be coming home with us. It was his name.
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  #10  
June 1st, 2009, 09:20 PM
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Bryan Luke was a name I had since I was very young. Bryan, after my oldest brother who died when he was 12 (I was 6), and Luke because I loved the name. It was always going to be my first son's name. When we found out he was a boy that was his name. I never considered anything else. I do grieve for the name too though.
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  #11  
June 2nd, 2009, 02:46 AM
heathernoel's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Marshall was picked out after we told our deacon we were going to have a stillborn. I took a nap, and woke up with "Jacob" on the brain. Hence, Marshall Jacob.

When we were told we had to go to an e.r. u/s for Jonah, I insisted we have names picked out. We went round and round until I just said "Jonah", and he said...yes! Summer wanted a Michael, and it was settled. Tabitha Grace was an easy name to settle on.
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  #12  
June 2nd, 2009, 04:22 AM
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we didnt have any names picked out for a girl, we had jack for a boy we didn't know if she was a girl or a boy.

amy my middle daughter was 4 at the time jessica died and she had been begging us to call her jessica we had told her we'd think about it as i didnt like it.in the delivery room we suddenly realised we didnt have a name and we just said we'd have jessica
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  #13  
June 2nd, 2009, 05:44 AM
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We had Ceilidh for a girl and Joshua for a boy picked out at about 8 weeks pregnant. The thought of changing her name never entered our heads.
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  #14  
June 2nd, 2009, 07:00 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ablepearl View Post
Did you use a name you had already picked out for your baby? Did you have a name and use your favorite?

We had picked Colm just the week before we learned that he had died. We used it because it was HIS name, and it still belonged to him. It means 'dove' so it seemed so appropriate.

My son Michael who is six told me that we should have given him a different name because he likes the name Colm and we should have saved it for another baby. He actually first asked if we would name another baby Colm if he had another baby brother, and I told him, 'no' because it was already used.

So just wondering what you did. Or if you had anyone make a comment like that? Of course it did not upset me because he is so young, but if an adult had said that i might have punched them...lol. He also told me he would like us to change his name to Colm...lol
I said this exact thing to DH when I was holding Dominic. I loved that name. I loved my baby. I almost named him something else and since we have been calling him Dominic since we found out he was a boy. I didn't name Tristan until AFTER he was born. I had names I liked but he had no official name. Well, we called him John Wayne because my dad nicknamed him that LMAO

Anymore kids I have will be named after they are born, still or not.
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