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Heaven grew richer, I need your advice


Forum: Stillbirth

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  #1  
August 10th, 2009, 07:00 PM
Momeejenjen's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Girls, a friend of mine gave birth to her angel on Aug 5th due to a cord accident, she was born 8 days before her due date. They named her Lucy.

Many of my friends and I are trying to get together something special to do for her, we considered a bench for her garden or a tree but we are kind of stuck...we want it to really be something for her. Any ideas? Was there anything given to you that you loved and still cherish to this day?

You ladies amaze me, thank you in advance for all your help.
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  #2  
August 10th, 2009, 07:25 PM
rebeccabaltimore and more's Avatar (rebeccabaltimore)
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Something she can take with her. Many people plant things, but if you move they stay behind. A bench, a stone, a fountain, these can all go with her.

A less conventional option would be a gift certificate to a good tattoo shop. Many women get their angels' footprints as tattoos. My son's were too small, so I got his initial with some flowers and it is probably the single most meaningful thing I did after he was born. It's been 6 months, and I swear I love that tattoo more each and every day.
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  #3  
August 10th, 2009, 07:28 PM
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I'm so sorry for her loss

I think that's beautiful that you and many friends want to do something special for her. We were given lots of cards and flowers. I actually really, really like that bench for her garden idea and you could get Lucy's name engraved on a plaque on it? There would be absolutely no words to describe how touched I would be if my family or friends did something like that for us.

I don't have any other suggestions about anything you could get her, but my main advice is just be there for her. Many of my friends just didn't know how to deal with it, so they completely ignored us for as long as they possibly could until we came around and got a hold of them. And I'll tell you from first hand experience that that really, really hurts. I know they didn't know what to say, but just knowing that people are there for you when you need them most is the best gift of all.

ETA: I agree with Rebecca about the tree. Unless your friend is planning on living there for a looooooong time, it's not the most practical gift just because she won't be able to take it with her when they move.

Last edited by LaLaLa1; August 10th, 2009 at 07:36 PM.
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  #4  
August 10th, 2009, 07:45 PM
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I know it is not actually 100% legitimate or so my husband says, but what about naming a star in memorial of her daughter? My staff at the store I manage did this for me and my husband in memory of Robert and I have to say that it is kind of neat because everytime I look at the sky, I think of all the people who love him and me. It also came with all sorts of information about where the star is and a certificate I can get framed. It's just a suggestion. Good luck in picking what you would like to do. My heart goes out to your friend.
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  #5  
August 11th, 2009, 06:09 AM
grlpisces's Avatar Dynamite w/ a laser beam
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I am in favor of the tattoo gift certificate as well as the International Star Registry. I got Noah's foot prints tattooed some months after he was born and for his birthdate, a dear friend of mine presented us with the Star Registry gift for Noah; I thought that was an absolutely beautiful idea.

My condolences to your friend on her loss.
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  #6  
August 11th, 2009, 07:12 AM
claire1979's Avatar mummy to a special angel
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a hug will a good idea too, you are such a nice person hun for being there that in its self will mean the world, the ladies have given you some really nice ideas
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  #7  
August 11th, 2009, 07:37 AM
rebeccabaltimore and more's Avatar (rebeccabaltimore)
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I forgot about the star registry, Ethan has a star named after him, it's nice to be able to look up in the sky and know he's looking down at us.
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  #8  
August 11th, 2009, 10:57 AM
Momeejenjen's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Thank you ladies for all your suggestions. You are all amazing.
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  #9  
August 12th, 2009, 06:52 AM
Veteran
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oh I wanted to add mine. My favorite thing is my picture of Logans name written in the sand. Some online friends actually requested it and had it framed and mailed to me. I cherish it and have it hanging in my house.

That would be an idea (although I think she's backed up on the requests so it may take a bit).

*hugs* to your friend AND to you.


edited to add: forgot to give the link...

To Write Their Names In The Sand: Search results for Logan
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Laura-32
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b/g twins Logan and Ella
10/06/08
Logan stillborn, loved beyond measure

Journey to Logan video http://smilebox.com/playBlog/4e54597...314d673d3d0d0a
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