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I didn't think it would hit me like this - I've been handling things alright the last few days, but the moment I opened my eyes this morning I thought "today is the day I was admitted into the hospital. today is the day i was induced." and then it hit me like a tidal wave. I don't want to move/eat/talk......I just want to sleep. And cry. I miss him so much. No one here will understand, they just say 'but you have a new one coming soon'.....and trust me I know I'm blessed, and I'm extremely grateful for this little guy and love him with all my heart, but he's still my third child - my second child will always be in heaven. He isn't Damian. Ugh I just want to crawl back into bed and stay there for the next two days.
Proud Mommy to Mattea Lilian born February 21st 2007 - 7lbs 14oz &
Owen Markus James born October 21st 2009 - 10lbs
Forever loving & Missing ~Damian~ born into heaven August 13th 2008
This is exactly how I felt yesterday. Yesterday I woke up thinking that a month ago I was so happy in the morning when the labor started only to find a few hours later that this would be the worst day in my life.
Hugs to you!
No one will ever understand our pain except here on this board.
I am sure that no matter how much we try to prepare ourselves the anniversary of the days we found out, labored and gave birth will always be so hard on us. Especially that first year, since we have not lived through an anniversary of the actual birth yet.
I totally thought I was doing so well the days leading up to Katrina's one year angelversary as well, but on the 8th (one year ago when I got induced) I just absolutely broke down when I totally thought I had it under control. I actually did a LOT worse on the 8th than I did on the 9th (when she was born).
And like Laura said, when no one else in the world seems to understand, us girls here, do.