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todays hitting pretty hard :(


Forum: Stillbirth

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  #1  
August 12th, 2009, 10:20 AM
BellaBellski's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: DC, BC
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I didn't think it would hit me like this - I've been handling things alright the last few days, but the moment I opened my eyes this morning I thought "today is the day I was admitted into the hospital. today is the day i was induced." and then it hit me like a tidal wave. I don't want to move/eat/talk......I just want to sleep. And cry. I miss him so much. No one here will understand, they just say 'but you have a new one coming soon'.....and trust me I know I'm blessed, and I'm extremely grateful for this little guy and love him with all my heart, but he's still my third child - my second child will always be in heaven. He isn't Damian. Ugh I just want to crawl back into bed and stay there for the next two days.
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Proud Mommy to Mattea Lilian born February 21st 2007 - 7lbs 14oz &
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Forever loving & Missing ~Damian~ born into heaven August 13th 2008
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  #2  
August 13th, 2009, 04:46 AM
claire1979's Avatar mummy to a special angel
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  #3  
August 13th, 2009, 08:23 AM
Veteran
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 244
oh I'm so sorry.

Today is one year. wow.

*hugs*

Please know that *WE* understand. When no one else in the world 'gets it', we do.
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Laura-32
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b/g twins Logan and Ella
10/06/08
Logan stillborn, loved beyond measure

Journey to Logan video http://smilebox.com/playBlog/4e54597...314d673d3d0d0a
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  #4  
August 13th, 2009, 11:40 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: New York
Posts: 1,759
This is exactly how I felt yesterday. Yesterday I woke up thinking that a month ago I was so happy in the morning when the labor started only to find a few hours later that this would be the worst day in my life.

Hugs to you!

No one will ever understand our pain except here on this board.
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  #5  
August 13th, 2009, 01:45 PM
BakingMommy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 1,192
I am sure that no matter how much we try to prepare ourselves the anniversary of the days we found out, labored and gave birth will always be so hard on us. Especially that first year, since we have not lived through an anniversary of the actual birth yet.
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  #6  
August 13th, 2009, 05:59 PM
rebeccabaltimore and more's Avatar (rebeccabaltimore)
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 1,842
I'm sorry. I wish those around you understood. I wish you didn't have to lose Damian.
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  #7  
August 13th, 2009, 10:13 PM
Proud Momma
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I totally thought I was doing so well the days leading up to Katrina's one year angelversary as well, but on the 8th (one year ago when I got induced) I just absolutely broke down when I totally thought I had it under control. I actually did a LOT worse on the 8th than I did on the 9th (when she was born).

And like Laura said, when no one else in the world seems to understand, us girls here, do.
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  #8  
August 15th, 2009, 07:04 PM
BellaBellski's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: DC, BC
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Thanks everyone. JM has been down constantly for me, so I havent really been around. I just wanted to thank everyone and tell you all again how much I appreciate you
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Proud Mommy to Mattea Lilian born February 21st 2007 - 7lbs 14oz &
Owen Markus James born October 21st 2009 - 10lbs
Forever loving & Missing ~Damian~ born into heaven August 13th 2008
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  #9  
August 15th, 2009, 10:28 PM
liz bevan's Avatar Super Mommy
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your in my thoughts
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Thank you so much for the awesome siggie Claire
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