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Tomorrow is the day that we had our ultrasound and received the bad news. Its also the day I was admitted to the hospital to start the induction. I'm not sure how to deal with tomorrow. I've got plans for Wed. her birthday, but I've just been beside myself the past few days.
You aren't the only one to dread not just the birthday but also the days that preceded it. Tomorrow is probably going to be very hard for you, but I hope it is not as emotionally stabbing as we fear. The part that bothers me about the "finding out day" (which for us was also 2 days before birth) is how I woke up that morning...did the usual stuff...went out to eat with my mom and brother...went shopping and got annoyed with them...all the while we had no idea. No idea. Then when we were told he had been dead almost a week and then having to tell everyone....such a hard day. Probably the hardest of them all.
Yeah, the "finding out day" for me was the day before she was born. It's been hard for me, probably because I plan the stuff for her birthday, so everyone expects the "finding out" anniversary to be a normal, just like any other day.
Like I said before Cora's birthday, it's like watching a tsunami. There's no stopping it. It's coming. You can see it from a distance, but you can't get away from it. You just hang on your tightest and hope you survive.
Yep, I totally know where you're coming from. August 8 (a year ago when I got induced) and the days leading up to Katrina's 1st angelversary were SO much harder for me last week than August 9 was. I completely lost it on August 8 and couldn't stop crying. But August 9, since we spent it with family and had a nice day just remembering our sweet Angel, it was just very peaceful and I only cried once later at night.
You definitely aren't alone. I'm dreading Nov 24th, 25th, and of course his b-day of the 26th. I was on the roller coaster ride from hell those 3 days. So many times we were told this would work, then this would work.....then, no hope.