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Needing to Write a Letter


Forum: Stillbirth

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  #1  
August 29th, 2009, 12:30 AM
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Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 213
I have been sending out a few “Thank you’s” to family and friends and to my doctor who all gave us comfort and support during the loss of our son. But there is one person that I haven't thanked yet and it's nagging me. I wanted to thank the nurse who was there with us through the whole birth, from check in to check out. She was also the one who delivered our little guy and made sure everything was perfect. She was so kind and considerate......you know those baby warmers, the ones they but the babies under and turn on the heat lamp. It was in our room and she asked me if I wanted it removed. I told her no, that it didn't bother me (but later found out it bugged DH). She turned it on and kept it on when our son was born. She held him and wrapped him handmade blanket that she picked out. She told us how beautiful he was. She stayed past her shift to be with us. As she was leaving and saying goodbye she went back to the warmer and said goodbye to our son. I know she was sent by God to be there with me. How can I ever say Thank you enough to her? I don't even think I can get the words out to say how much she helped us make it through this and what she did for us. I can barely write because the tears are flowing so hard right now. Any ideas what I should do to let her know how much we appreciated what she did for us. Did any of you thank the hospital or nurses? I also wanted to give something to the hospital in my son’s honor but the hospital is kinda stuffy and in a wealthy area and I don’t have thousands of dollars to donate or make a fund in his honor. I feel like if I can’t give something big, that they wont care or want my gift. I just know that I need to DO something!
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  #2  
August 29th, 2009, 03:15 AM
Marlz.
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Sorry for popping in.. I seen this post scrolling down the page.

I really dont think its how big the gift is.. It is the thought. I dont think nurses get thanked enough. They dont get ladies that say all those beautiful words that you just did.. really what you just said about everything she done was amazing. I think even if you just made her a card and thanked her for all those wonderful things it would make her day.. because you have acknowledged all the things she did that helped you.
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  #3  
August 29th, 2009, 03:24 AM
Marlz.
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Take care hun.. I think your a beautiful person and you have really touched my heart. Good luck with thanking the nurse.. im sure you'll find all the write words.

** I was reading in a magazine about a mother who had lost 3 trpilets, they died soon after birth. She organsized a charaty run.. she raised alot of money from it and has done it for years and donated the money to the hospitals premmies ward. The run was in name of her boys.. I dont think she had much money either so that was the best she could do..
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  #4  
August 29th, 2009, 05:39 AM
SarahBethsMommy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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My mom was an L&D nurse for many years. I remember that she received lots of thank you gifts over the years. Everything from a basket of goodies to a diamond braclet (the family owned a jewlery shop). But the things she valued the most were just the heartfelt letters written to her from families whom she had helped. She was the "grief" nurse and was put on cases that they knew the baby wouldn't survive many times, so she dealt with our situations a lot. Those were the moms who would write letters and just made her feel like her work was worth it.
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  #5  
August 29th, 2009, 08:30 AM
grlpisces's Avatar Dynamite w/ a laser beam
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I think a simple, hand-written thank you notes says more than we can every imagine. I had sent Holiday Greetings to the L&D Nurses and the NICU Staff with pictures of Julia right after she was born and how she looked at that time, with a note of heartfelt thanks for everything they did in taking care of us and our daughter during a difficult time.

I am planning on being at the same hospital to have this baby and I am hoping (REALLY hoping) that I get to have the same wonderful L&D nurses that I had last year. They were the most wonderful I've ever met
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  #6  
August 29th, 2009, 08:43 AM
BakingMommy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I would suggest writing a heartfelt note too. If you can send a small gift with it, that is nice too....but I don't think she would feel it is necessary. I loved the nurse who was with me throughout the toughest hours of my labor. Unfortunately she left at 11 PM and he was born an hour and a half later. But our pastor and his wife have a grown daughter (in her 40s) who is a nurse on the maternity ward at that hospital (she is the one who was my night nurse the night I was admitted) and in November around Roald's birthday I am going to send that nurse and my delivery nurse and the pastor's daughter each a card and possibly a very small gift. I am also going to see if I can donate a baby item to the maternity or children's area of that hospital.

And the funeral home did everything for FREE (free casket, free funeral, free transportation, free pedestol on which to place his casket for display, free procession flags, free color funeral cards with what we wanted printed on the back, they found us a free plot with only a $150 burial fee, etc) and then when I had trouble with the cememtery groundkeeeper about our son's grave and his gravestone 7 months after his funeral I called there to ask if he had the management number for that cemetery. He listened to my whole story...went down there himself and talked to the groundskeeper...came right back and called me...and Roald's stone was installed that day!!! I am defnitely sending them a fantastic letter and gift and possibly donation at Roald's birthday time.
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  #7  
August 29th, 2009, 10:46 AM
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Thank you everyone for the suggestions. I think I will send her a letter, I just hope I can find the right words and have enough strength to write it. Maybe a small gift like stationary or note cards or something small. Thank you for the ideas. I am going to start working on this soon.

We found out that my nurse was part of a group of nurses who handle all the stillborns/dying infants. I think it takes a real specail person to do that. Later my OB was telling me when she was going her intern she remembered one of the ladies on the delievery floor had a late term loss. She said she will never forget it ever. and the nurse who assisted her was also part of a special team. She later found out most of the nurses on the team had experienced losses, that they had been through it too.
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  #8  
August 29th, 2009, 11:43 PM
NutMeg76's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I think the note will e perfect.

If you are concerned about donating to the hospital because of hte stuffiness, you could always donate somewhere else in your baby's honor. I have a breast pump I won and won'thave a need for, so I am going to donate it to the crisis pregnancy center for a momma in need.
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  #9  
August 30th, 2009, 07:48 AM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
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I never did, mostly because I didn't remember my nurses' names. I wish I could have though!

I think a letter would go a long way.
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