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I might lose this pregnancy too :(


Forum: Stillbirth

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  #1  
September 30th, 2009, 09:37 AM
rebeccabaltimore and more's Avatar (rebeccabaltimore)
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This isn't news to those of you on Facebook, but I am 6+5 and yesterday morning we had an u/s. There were THREE sacs, and nothing else. We should have seen fetuses if not heartbeats. The doctor is very concered about this finding because with IUI my conception dates are solid. The babies may be slow growers, but we also have to prepare ourselves for the significant chance that this may be a non-viable pregnancy. We have to go back next week, Tuesday, to see if anything has changed. The outlook isn't rosy. We may come away with three babies, some babies, or no babies. There is no way to know until the ultrasound next week. Because there are three sacs and we don't know if some or all are viable, my HCG levels are almost entirely useless, even if they are going up there's no way to know if they are going up enough. And if there is no growth by next week, we are looking at waiting for a miscarriage or getting a D&C and then going through fertility treatments AGAIN.

I am scared to say the least. I don't want to lose these babies. I still have significant pregnancy symptoms, so it's hard to have morning sickness when it's just a reminder that I may be carrying a non-viable pregnancy. It's a slap in the face really. I'm afraid to have hope, because last time I had hope, we found out the Ethan had a condition incompatible with life. I can't take another heartbreak like that. Moreover, it took aggressive fertility treatment to get pregnant with Squirt, Sprout, and Hamster (their nicknames). I developed severe hyperstimulation sydrome that I'm still experiencing, I really do not want to go through these treatments again.

AND I HAVE TO WAIT A WHOLE WEEK!!!!

Please pray for a miracle. I never in my life wanted triplets, and now it feels like it's all I've ever wanted. I need these babies to make it.

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  #2  
September 30th, 2009, 10:40 AM
grlpisces's Avatar Dynamite w/ a laser beam
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(((HUGS)))

While I will never say "I know exactly how you feel", I can honestly tell you that I relate to this story. I posted a story about this in the private section some time ago about our situation, but please know you can PM me anytime (here, facebook) if you need support over this. This is not something I can discuss publicly but am happy to support in any way I can over something like this.

I am really hoping that this takes a turn in your favor. I will be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers, hon.
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  #3  
September 30th, 2009, 10:42 AM
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I'm hoping you get great news on Tuesday. I am sending growing thoughts to Hamster, Sprout and Squirt.
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Last edited by LauraG; September 30th, 2009 at 11:01 AM.
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  #4  
September 30th, 2009, 10:43 AM
noworries
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I am praying! I hope this week goes by quickly for you and you get good news at your ultrasound on Tuesday.
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  #5  
September 30th, 2009, 11:23 AM
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I will be praying! Please don't stress out over this yet. I hope you will get the greatest news possible on Tuesday.
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  #6  
September 30th, 2009, 01:06 PM
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I'll be praying for you. I hope this week flies by for you.
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  #7  
September 30th, 2009, 01:20 PM
claire1979's Avatar mummy to a special angel
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i will most definatly be thinking of u hun and praying

and wow 3?
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  #8  
September 30th, 2009, 03:48 PM
BakingMommy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I couldn't believe it when I saw on FB you have 3!!!

But...I would be feeling just like you are. I just hope so much you get to keep these babies. Hoping for no more heartbreak...
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  #9  
September 30th, 2009, 05:18 PM
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hoping for the best for you, Rebecca. You'll be in my thoughts.
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  #10  
October 1st, 2009, 04:36 PM
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(((hugs)))
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  #11  
October 1st, 2009, 06:20 PM
lunarmagic's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I'm thinking of you every day, Rebecca. I keep mentioning you to my hubby, so he's thinking of you, too.
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  #12  
October 1st, 2009, 06:35 PM
rebeccabaltimore and more's Avatar (rebeccabaltimore)
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Thanks guys, this would be impossible without your support. I just keep thinkg "even if the unthinkable happens, I have my JM support system already in place."
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  #13  
October 2nd, 2009, 01:58 PM
NutMeg76's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I keep thinking about what you said with conception dates being solid, but this is biology we are talking about. Even if they triggered, it doesn't mean the egg released eaxactly at the time it was supposed, nor does it mean the sperm reached the egg right on time. There is the small chance that it is 2-3 days behind still. And at that point a few days makes the difference between a sac and a HB.
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  #14  
October 2nd, 2009, 02:23 PM
noworries
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I'm still thinking about you and praying for you and your beans. I hope Tuesday comes quickly and you get great news.
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  #15  
October 2nd, 2009, 07:52 PM
rebeccabaltimore and more's Avatar (rebeccabaltimore)
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Oh, I could totally be 2-3 days behind. The doctor said he was worried because things looked a lot more behind than that. I'd like to think he was being overly pessimistic, Dan even thinks so and he was right there. But last time, the doctor was right - Ethan looked sick on the u/s, and he was in fact WAY sicker than he even looked. So it's hard for me to hope for these babies, because last time I had hope, I held my son in my arms and said goodbye.
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  #16  
October 2nd, 2009, 09:48 PM
NutMeg76's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Well, I am praying for you AND having a little hope.

(((hugs)))
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  #17  
October 2nd, 2009, 09:53 PM
rebeccabaltimore and more's Avatar (rebeccabaltimore)
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Thank you, without you guys I wouldn't have any hope at all. You guys give me hope, and I now I spend time wondering each day "how on earth will I survive triplets!?"
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  #18  
October 2nd, 2009, 10:49 PM
Mom 2 Avery's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Not only will you survive triplets....I'll bet you have wonderful triplets!
You have a sharp mind and a kind heart...you'll be perfect!!!

Sending hugs!
Dawna
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