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Forum: Stillbirth

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  #1  
October 9th, 2009, 12:54 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 829
My depression is getting really bad. I can't look at my baby without bursting into tears. No one will leave me alone. More people have been talking about Keegan now than right after he died, and I can't really cope. I know what I am missing now, and everyone talking about him makes me feel worse. I hold my baby now and just feel numb, everyone thinks I'm mad at them, but the truth is, I just feel kind of dead inside. I can't even get in the shower or make my lunch without crying and I have bad thoughts. I feel so trapped, I want to get out and go back to work or school, but I know I can't leave him yet. I need some time away from the people that drive me crazy. And between them, the baby waking up every couple hours and having screaming fits all afternoon, and a husband hounding me for sex, I don't know what to do with myself any more.

I don't feel like myself.

I had a Dr.s appointment this morning at 8:30 to see about getting some anti-depressants, but I blew it off and slept. To make things worse, my husband is pretty much out of work now, just working part time, and nothing steady to look forward to. So now I feel obligated to take over. This just stresses me more and has put a lot of strain on our relationship. I've even let my faith waver over this. I honestly feel like there is no way out now. I feel bad for waking up in the mornings.
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  #2  
October 9th, 2009, 01:04 PM
noworries
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You need to get to your doctor to talk to him about anti-depressants sweetie. HUGS
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  #3  
October 9th, 2009, 01:27 PM
grlpisces's Avatar Dynamite w/ a laser beam
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: 32.918289,-97.272266
Posts: 1,758
Having the blues after delivering a baby is completely normal. The 9 months of hormones are trying to get back to a normal, pre-pregnancy level. However, you really need to get over to your doctor's office to determine if it's just 'the blues' or post-partum depression, which is very real.

Please make this a top priority, hon. For yourself, for your beautiful baby boy.

Is there a friend or relative available to watch Kaden while you get away for a moment by yourself? Even if it's a trip to the grocery store, CVS, Walmart, or just for a walk around the neighborhood? Please seek out that person so you can take a breather for yourself.

And know that you can vent to us anytime
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  #4  
October 9th, 2009, 06:52 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: CT
Posts: 982
Can you tell them to stop talking about keegan? I know that for us as the parents of the baby that passed its acceptable for US to talk about the baby...but really thats it...i am of the mindset that it is not their topic to bring up...that baby belongs to us and only us. And also, I don't want to be rude but your baby is 3 wks old...tell your hubby that "the doctor said no sex for at least 6weeks". If there is anyway to talk to your hubby about how you are feeling so that maybe he will be a little more understanding of where you are coming from? But try, for your beautiful baby (he is SO cute oh my gosh!!!) to get to the doctor and talk about what you are feeling. Like Barb said, blues are normal but you need to determine if this is more than just "the blues". Hugs. lean on us if you need to. I wish we could do more than just listen.
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Kathryn
Married to my best friend Tom since 2004 (together since 1999)
Mommy to two little boys:
Jamie ~ 7-12-04 ~ fun, crazy, transformer loving tough-guy mama's boy
and
Joey ~ 4-4-09 ~ born sleeping ~ held under my heart for 40wk1d, in my arms for just 6 short hours but he will be in my heart forever
And finally holding my little girl,Felicity Rose, Born into Daddy's loving hands on June 9, 2010

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  #5  
October 9th, 2009, 08:43 PM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Littleton, CO
Posts: 43,523
I agree with the others, you really should talk to your doctor. Even blowing off the appointment sounds like depression to me.



It's so hard. I had a hard time missing Cora after Erin was born.
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  #6  
October 10th, 2009, 08:09 PM
BakingMommy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 1,192
I second what everyone else said. It sounds really rough. What the heck is it with people and having such a hard time lately? Something bad is in the air/water, I swear. Ugh. Not fair

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  #7  
October 11th, 2009, 12:16 PM
claire1979's Avatar mummy to a special angel
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: huddersfield, england
Posts: 33,629
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awww hun im so your feeling like this i hope you can get in to see your doctor it may help somewat hun
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