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insignificant things


Forum: Stillbirth

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  #1  
October 19th, 2009, 04:07 PM
MeganMomof5's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Since I lost Ella, I seem to notice when people whine,complain, ***** about insignificant things and all I can think "that means nothing, who really cares"...I'd give anything to just have the little things to worry about...Just a small thought that i've been thinking about today.
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  #2  
October 19th, 2009, 04:08 PM
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I still get those, "so if you think that is bad, try having a dead baby." thoughts on a regular basis.
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  #3  
October 19th, 2009, 04:10 PM
MeganMomof5's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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that's exactly what I feel like telling everyone.
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  #4  
October 19th, 2009, 04:35 PM
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I felt the same way - now I just try to remember that they are innocent...they haven't been through what I been through and I try to give them the benefit of the doubt...even though I completely agree...some people complain about the stupidest insignificant things and its so frustrating.
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  #5  
October 19th, 2009, 04:37 PM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
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Yep, I still think it too, but now I feel bad about it. I try to give them the benefit of the doubt like Jennalee does, but it doesn't always happen. I'd give just about anything to switch places.
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  #6  
October 19th, 2009, 05:57 PM
rebeccabaltimore and more's Avatar (rebeccabaltimore)
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It's been 8.5 months since I lost Ethan. I'm doing so much better with grief, but not a day goes by that I don't think "if you think that's bad, I've held my dead son in my arms and said goodbye." I think it at least 5 times a day. I see reality show personalities lose it over shampoo or some stupid supposed slight and I think "these people have never had an actual bad thing happen to them ever, have they?"
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  #7  
October 19th, 2009, 06:09 PM
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Yeah. I have this double time with some personal issues going on in my life right now. I thought I couldn't stand listening to other peoples' menial problems just after we lost Roald. Now add marital problems to the mix and I really CANNOT take it. I just sit there screaming "SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!" in my head and afterwards I feel like a terrible person. I don't care if your husband yelled at your kid...or you didn't get to go to that concert....or you felt upset about being pregnant again at first. My baby is dead and my life for the last 3 years has been mostly a lie. Beat that one!
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  #8  
October 19th, 2009, 06:16 PM
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Yep, me too. I mean, I still get upset over small stupid things sometimes (usually when I'm just really stressed out about everything), but it's hard to listen to people get so upset over something that just doesn't matter in the long run. The whole, "Yeah? My baby died." goes through my head several times. Kind of puts things into perspective.
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  #9  
October 19th, 2009, 07:30 PM
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Man, am I glad I am not the only one!!!

It stinks to because I work as a physical therapy assistant, yup, EVERY one is complaining about something.
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  #10  
October 19th, 2009, 09:21 PM
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yup, I know what you mean. Some people have the most petty issues and it's just so disturbing that they think that's the worst thing in the world.

People come into my work and complain about the most insignificant, useless ***** and I just want to hit them and tell them to shut the F up...they have no idea what it's like to lose a baby.
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  #11  
October 19th, 2009, 11:21 PM
claire1979's Avatar mummy to a special angel
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oh my i have this alot even now after nearly 5 years

sometimes i think just grow up u know! i feel guilty cause maybe i was like that before
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  #12  
October 20th, 2009, 05:40 AM
grlpisces's Avatar Dynamite w/ a laser beam
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with all of the above. Nothing but nothing is as humbling as losing your own child, and it's those stupid people who b*tch about petty things that make me want to throw a brick at their faces.

Stop complaining about your kids, stop complaining about the traffic, stop complaining about a job you are lucky enough to have in the first place in these economic down-times, stop complaining about your bad hair day ... I, of all people, do NOT want to hear it (yet I overhear this stupid stuff every day).
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  #13  
October 20th, 2009, 05:48 AM
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The worst is when people complain about their kids doing something so minute that to them that is apparently just the absolute worst thing in the world. Just be f - ing grateful you have your kids, you *****.

I've seen parents out in public who smack their kids just because the kid won't stop talking or something.
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  #14  
October 20th, 2009, 07:19 AM
noworries
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Yeah, I have those thoughts all the time. The worst is when I am telling someone about something I am having a hard time with that is related to Eli and then they are like "oh, yeah, me too" or something when they really can't relate at all. For example, I was telling my sister that I didn't have any clothes that fit me right now (I still have about 12 lbs to lose to get back to my pre-preggo weight) and she was saying "yeah, I still wear maternity clothes a lot (she has a 4 month old). I hate still wearing maternity clothes because it reminds me of what I lost but she just didn't get that and turned it back on herself.

Last edited by noworries; October 20th, 2009 at 07:49 AM.
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  #15  
October 20th, 2009, 07:34 AM
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I'm in the same boat. Right after Eric died, my mom was telling me how my sister had some marital problems and and stuff like that, and all I was thinking to myself "who cares, this is so insignificant". Also she was telling me how my sister's 6 month old son at that time wasn't sleeping well during night, and how hard it was for my sister to go to work with no sleep. All I was thinking is that I would give up anything just to have that.
Another annoying thing to me which I guess is bad but I just can't help it is to look at pregnant women who are so oblivious and happy after the first trimester thinking that nothing can happen now.
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  #16  
October 20th, 2009, 08:13 AM
MeganMomof5's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I too can't wear my maternity clothes...it hurts way too much...I actually got rid of most of my pre pregnancy clothes because I hated them and I thought that I wouldn't need them all winter and by next winter i'd just get some new things...I had to buy a new pair of jeans this weekend, and I ordered a few things from old navy to get me by...My mom told me that I can still wear all the maternity things I just bought because they don't look maternity...Well I don't need to be reminded of what I just lost and that's exactly what i'll think if I put on those clothes...They just don't understand.
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  #17  
October 20th, 2009, 12:22 PM
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Talk about insignificant:

Four days after losing Katrina was my birthday and my supposed best friend finally called me that day to wish me a happy birthday (yea, real happy birthday!) and I absolutely kid you not, she went on for over one hour with me about how mad she was that her boyfriend took her to this awful restaurant and it didn't meet up to her standards. I was sitting on the phone in tears and not really hearing her, but she had no idea on the other side and just went on and on about how he should have taken her to somewhere more fancy blah blah blah.

I think what I was more mad about was that they went out for a nice dinner on the Saturday night that I delivered Katrina, and all she was thinking about at that time was how bad the restaurant was...she couldn't have even have called to see how her "best" friend was doing and oh yea, it was nice to know that her life got to continue on nicely while her "best" friend was lying at home in shock and tears and anger. I think I would have just smacked her if she actually said all that on the phone to my face. I should have just hung up, but I literally had no energy to even care.

Then, when I went back to work about 6 weeks after losing Katrina, the first day, basically the first thing my co-worker says to me is, "UGH, I got absolutely no sleep last night. ___________ (his baby) was up all night and she drove me insane with her crying." I started crying instantly when he said that and I said, "yea, well I would do ANYTHING to be up all night with my crying baby than to be in the position I am in now, so just shut up about it." I'll give him the benefit of the doubt because he did apologize and said he was only trying to make conversation because I looked so sad...but it's quite obvious what I was so dang sad about...some people just need to think before they speak.
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  #18  
October 20th, 2009, 12:39 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by grlpisces View Post
with all of the above. Nothing but nothing is as humbling as losing your own child, and it's those stupid people who b*tch about petty things that make me want to throw a brick at their faces.

Stop complaining about your kids, stop complaining about the traffic, stop complaining about a job you are lucky enough to have in the first place in these economic down-times, stop complaining about your bad hair day ... I, of all people, do NOT want to hear it (yet I overhear this stupid stuff every day).
My sentiments exactly.
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  #19  
October 20th, 2009, 12:50 PM
MeganMomof5's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Stephanie, that's horrible I think that i've come to realize is that people that haven't gone threw this, just don't understand...I think if they have children they think they do, but really they don't....I'm so sick of people saying they understand etc, I feel like yelling at them...I just signed onto my facebook, and I just want to scream because i'm so sick of reading everyone's petty stupid problems....Really they have no clue...This is exactly why I haven't wanted to be around anyone, I just can't stand it anymore.
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  #20  
October 20th, 2009, 01:03 PM
noworries
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I hated facebook for a while after Eli was born....I couldn't handle seeing new pregnancy announcements all the time and all the petty complaints that people would post.
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