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Forum: Stillbirth

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  #1  
October 23rd, 2009, 11:39 AM
MeganMomof5's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2008
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I was having an alright morning...My son wanted me to watch a movie with him and eat popcorn...We watched The Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown, and now he's watching Cars...Well till the phone started to ring...First it was my insurance company calling (a nurse) because they noticed that I had been in the hospital 2 times within 3 weeks and they were worried and wanted to know what was going on...I usually wouldn't even answer the phone, but I Thought it would be something importnant...Then the nurse from my OB's office called to see how I was....She was the one with me when I found out Ella was gone ....She told me to try to take some benadryl tonight to help sleep and take more tomorrow night if it doesn't help and if on monday i'm still not sleeping that my doctor would give me something...I also told her about part of the placenta that I lost the other day, but she said as long as i'm not running a fever and having to change my pad every hour I should be fine....If things change I need to call back....She also gave me the name and number for a support group that starts in a couple of weeks...Everytime the phone rings I Think it's the funeral home calling about Ella, but instead it's just reminders of what i've been going threw...I hate telling people how i'm doing, I hate telling people everything that's going on....I'd just love to be able to forget about things for a little while and think of something else, and I can't, esp with all the reminders around me...I was sitting in my car yesterday waiting for my daughter to get out of school, thinking and it hit me that my life will never be the same ever...I knew that before, but it just hit me yesterday...Will I ever find happiness in anything again?
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  #2  
October 23rd, 2009, 11:46 AM
BakingMommy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Location: Pennsylvania
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Yeah. I actually DID stop answering our house phone. My mom let me borrow her cell phone and that is the only way I communicated with people. It is always so hard when we have to adjust to new life. It takes a long time and alot out of you.
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  #3  
October 23rd, 2009, 12:05 PM
Mega Super Mommy
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I am wondering the same thing. Will I ever enjoy things the same way I did before?
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  #4  
October 23rd, 2009, 12:10 PM
SarahBethsMommy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Yes, you'll have happiness again. No, it'll never be the same. Right now, you need to grieve and allow that. Don't answer the phone if you can help it. Screen your calls.
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  #5  
October 23rd, 2009, 08:09 PM
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I never thought I would be happy again....and yet here I am. Pregnant and excited. Able to look forward to the future. I never stop thinking about Joey...I am actually quite scatterbrained and have to try extra hard to stay organized between missing Joey and paranoia about this pregnancy but Its worth it. I go days without crying, sometimes weeks (except for now, pregnancy makes me emotional. Last night I cried for no other reason other than I was tired lol). HOwever, it will be a different type of happiness. Our babies changed our lives...we have to find that NEW normal. Like that Johnson and Johnson commercial "Having a baby changes everything". They have no idea how true that is.
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  #6  
October 24th, 2009, 06:10 AM
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I'm there with you too.
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  #7  
October 24th, 2009, 06:52 PM
liz bevan's Avatar Super Mommy
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things will never be the same. After our loss, i started to feel some what normal, but then we got pregnant. We lost the baby at about 5 weeks. I feel like we are back at the start.
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  #8  
October 24th, 2009, 08:57 PM
NutMeg76's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I didn't answer the phone for over two weeks, I made my husband do it.
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  #9  
October 24th, 2009, 10:26 PM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
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You know, this is exactly why I thought that the quote I put at the end of the video was so perfect. It spoke to me so much.

"I will laugh again. I will love again. But I will never be the same again."
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  #10  
October 25th, 2009, 05:40 PM
lunarmagic's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Location: MA
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Yes, you will definitely have happiness again. But it won't be anytime soon, and you have to go through a lot of heavy, sad emotions before you will get there.

Answering the phone was hard. The worst one I had was about a week after his birth a friend - not a close friend, but someone I hang out with now and then - called all perky-like and asked how I was and if I could help them with some computer problem that they were having. I was really silent and then said, "I guess no one has told you." So I had to break the news and then hung up really fast and cried. That sucked.

Turn off the phone for a while, maybe. check messages now and then when you feel like it. But talking on the phone took a LOT of effort for me for the first few weeks at the very least.
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