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Today is my follow up appointment with my OB....I'm a mess! I haven't been in there since the day I found out Ella was gone...I hope they don't put me in the same room, and i hope I don't have to wait in the waiting room for long...It's going to be so hard...My appointment isn't till 3, so I have all day to sit here and stress about it...It's also monday, so hopefully i'll find out about the cremation...My husband is going to call them today too...I told my husband about his mom not wanting to see a picture of the baby, and he thought that was weird and said that she's just lost her mind...I'm glad that he was on my side about it and he didn't act like I was crazy for asking her if she wanted to see (I was worried he would be mad)...We were really busy yesterday, so my mind was off of things for most of the day....Of course never fully off of my mind, but I didn't sit around and cry...I don't know why I feel guilty that we did other things yesterday...I know that i need to keep going for my kids, but I just can't help this sense of guilt that I do feel...It seems like I had something else I wanted to get off my chest, but I can't think of it now...I hope everyone had a good weekend.
Hugs Megan. My first time back to the OB after Eli was born was really difficult too and it was 7 weeks after I had him. I hope everything goes smoothly and you have as good of a day as you can.
I'm glad your DH is being good to you.
I don't think this is a regular PP check up...It hasn't even been 2 weeks...I hope they aren't going to do the regular PP things because i'm still bleeding...Now i'm going to worry all day about that...I think he might just want to see how i'm doing and i'm sure i'll make another appointment for the regular 6 week check up...Next week would of been my regular OB appointment, I would of been 25 weeks almost time to start going every 2 weeks
It's weird that she didn't want to see the picture. I have some family members who are like that too. In fact I'm not sure if my father and my FIL have seen his picture. It could've been too painful for them or something else but I don't really care about it anymore.
I hope you have a good appointment today. I used to feel guilty about silly things in the beginning too, like if I smile or laugh, I still do. It's normal. I think it'll be like that for awhile because are babies are not here with us to share the good things.
I had Roald Nov 15 and my follow-up was Dec 23. We were in the same room where they could not find Roald's heartbeat November 13. It was just an exam room, not the ultrasound room where I found out for sure he was dead, but it was just as weird. I have been in there a few times agin since. It's weird and especially in the first weeks after your loss it hurts. You could always say something if you really can't take it, maybe they will accomodate you.
thanks for the advice...The closer i'm getting to my appointment the more nervous I am getting...There's only been about 2 rooms that i've ever been put in, so there's a chance it might not be that room...Just being there is going to be hard, but I probably won't say anything because that's just how I am...I am worried that I might have a panic attack once I get there...On a good note, I think my bleeding has already stopped...12 days PP, that's kind of soon isn't it? It might come back, but I have a feeling it's done...It was very heavy up untill Saturday, then yesterday it was almost gone, today it seems to be done.
Also, I wonder if my OB knows anything from the autopsy? is that who tells me what they find? He said it should take about 2 weeks...It sure would be nice if I knew something today...I just worry that it will have something to do with my surgery and I won't be told.
I had to actually call and get the autopsy results myself....and no one told me they were ready, I just got anxious after about 7 weeks and called and they said they had the results and I could come get them.