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First of all, I had to wait in the waiting room for about 45 minutes...I got to listen to an obviously drug addicted loser pregnant woman, complain about being pregnant...I just wanted to tell her to SHUT UP!!!!!...Not much of an appointment...My doctor just wanted to see how I was doing...He gave me some more sleeping pills and some anxiety meds...He told me that he thinks I should get the radio active treatment and then wait and have a baby, but he said that it's not the end of the world if I get pregnant before then...He said that he suggests waiting 6 months any way....He also wants me to see my other doctor in a few weeks if i'm still having sleeping problems and anxiety problems so I can get on a long term medication...I used to be on anti depressants for years, and I really hope that I don't have to go back on them...He also wanted to know what I wanted to use for birth control, and I said nothing....I don't ever use birth control, I usually just keep track of my cycles...That was pretty much it...He said I don't have to come back for a 6 week check up if I didn't want to...If I don't have any concerns i'm probably not going to go back in....It was just too hard being there today...Now I have to think about what I want to do....Get pregnant again, do my radio active treatment and wait, or do some more tests before getting pregnant and risk having to wait another year to try for a baby...I honestly just don't know what to do
if we did treatment we would do it in Jan/feb, but then i'd have to wait 6 months or a year to try to have another baby (i'm not sure exactly how long i'd have to wait...I think it depends on how much you have to take)....I don't want to wait that long though...I know that if my health is at risk I will wait....One thing that we always talked about was that we didn't want to be older parents (like in our 40's having kids)....I'm 29, but my husband is 37.....It took me a year to talk him into trying for one more baby, so i'm not sure how that would work....Plus we never wanted big age gaps, we wanted all our kids close in age (I never wanted to start over)...My son right now is almost 4....That's a bigger age gap then I ever wanted and if we have to wait to even try he'll be 5 or 6 when another baby would be born....that's why i'm torn on what to do
I'm in the same boat as you. I don't know what to do at the moment. The doctor told us to wait couple of cycles. Now after this has happened I started really regret that we waited so long to have a 2nd child. The age difference would've been 7 years between my daughter and Eric, but I thought it was ok since that's the same age difference between my sister and I. Now I think it's too big of a gap. So, we're really unsure right now if should try for another or not.
I personally think having years between siblings (especially full blood siblings) isn't really as bad as some people think it might be. In my experience (having a sister 6 years older, a sister 5 years older and a brother 6 years younger) none of us argue. We all keep in touch. And we did so growing up. I don't think there is ever a guarantee that just because siblings are close together in age that they will have any more solid of a relationship than more spaced out siblings. I know some people who are only a couple years apart who only talk to or see their siblings once a year or only around the holidays. I don't think I know anyone who really hates their siblings or has absolutely no contact with them. Remember....blood is thicker than water. 7 years...5 years....10 years...2 years...While it would be ideal for them to be able to play together in the same age groups as children, once school years hit and the teens, adulthood...your children will be their own people and I think in most families siblings will always be close despite the age difference.
That's just my two cents though. I recently had a conversation about this with someone IRL. Beyond that I don't know what I'd tell you about the toher things. Maybe really have a good talk with your husband explaining that if you do the treatments it will be summer when you begin trying again and that it means alot to you. Losing a baby has a deep effect on men and women...maybe he would not be so adverse to trying for another after losing her? I would just talk to him and try to make a decision in unison, kwim?
I'm the youngest of 4, and all my siblings are older than me ( 9 years, almost 8 years and 5 years)...I was never close to any, I guess that's why I like my kids close in age...They do fight now, but when they were little they were best friends...I actually wanted another baby to try to have one more boy so my son could have a brother....Obviously I was very happy when I found out I was having a girl (I knew she was a girl from the get go lol)...I just don't want all the kids to be somewhat close in age, and then have a big gap and another child feel left out (If that makes sense)...I already know that I will have another baby, There's no way I couldn't....I just am not sure when right now....My gut is telling me in a couple of months, but my mind is telling me to get the rest of my treatment over with.
I didn't have to deal with the extra stress of worrying about a treatment before TTC so I feel for you. I will say (and I'm sure everyone else will agree) that the subsequent pregnancy is very very emotionally hard and draining. For that reason alone I think it would be a good suggestion to get the treatment done before the next pregnancy. But that actual decision is of course yours. My subsequent pregnancy started out fine....then at 16 weeks I had a huge slump of depression that lasted 10 weeks. I'm still more sad than happy but those 10 weeks were really bad. It's different for everyone...I don't think it's any one time where we all get down but it happens for all of us.
Thanks for the support...It hasn't even been 2 weeks, but honestly before I even had Ella I was thinking about it...I'm not trying to replace her because I know that will never happen...It's been almost 2 years now since I wanted to have another child...It took me a year to talk my husband into it, and then a few months of trying....For some reason I knew from the begining that something was wrong, and I think I always had a gut feeling that I was never going to have her....I am sure that i'll be a nervous wreck in my next pregnancy, I just hope that I don't let it consume me and I enjoy it some.
I think it's a fine balance between the fear and the joy in a pregnancy. Like you, I always sort of knew. I was always very surprised when they told me that she was healthy and everything. With Erin, deep down I knew I'd get to bring her home. It didn't erase the fear or anything, but it helped keep it at bay.
Anyway, good luck figuring it out. It's a tough situation, since your health is also at risk. Anyway, good luck, and we'll support you no matter what decision you make.
that's so strange that you had that feeling too....In all my other pregnancies I never felt that way, never worried or anything....2 days after I got my BFP I started to spot (I got my BFP friday and sunday I started to spot) and since then I just had this gut feeling that something was going to happen...After my 19 week ultrasound I let go of that worry some, but It was still in the back of my mind....I started shopping, I named her and we talked about our plans more....I was shocked when I was told her heart wasn't beating, but deep within I think I knew it....It's hard to explain, but it's just something I knew....I'm sure now i'm going to worry regaurdless, and i'm sure that's normal....I haven't talked to my husband yet....It seems like we never have time to talk without kids hanging around....I'm thinking we need a night out where we can talk about things.
saying that hun, i knew with jessica i had a very strong feeling from the very beginning i felt like i wasn't going to carry her just a very deep black feeling very scary i said to my sister at the bery start of her pregnancy this.