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I was asked by the checker at the grocery store how many kids I had...I said 4, but the whole time I was thinking 5....I didn't want to get into it, but it hurt so bad to say 4 ....There's a checker who I go to most of the time...The last time I saw her, was the day after my ultrasound when I found out I was having a girl and it was also the day before I went into surgery....Well I bought alot of baby girl clothes that day and the checker asked me, and I told her I was having a baby girl ( she didn't know I was pregnant)....I'm just dreding the day that I have to go into her line again because i'm sure she's going to ask me about the surgery and the baby etc...I guess when people ask me how many kids I have, i'll either say 4 or 5 depending on the situation....Maybe say 4 living.
I do the same thing, the answer depends on the situation and how I'm feeling. It's hard when people know you were pregnant, but DON'T know that you lost your baby. I had a really hard time with that, since I was full term and OBVIOUSLY quite pregnant. It's hard when those questions come.
Yea, I don't really like being asked that question either. I freeze on what to say. Now that I'm pregnant again and obviously showing, any time I get asked "when are you due?" they always have to follow up with the question, "is this your first?"
In my heart I know what to say, but when someone asks me, I get so thrown off and start stuttering and talking strangely. I usually try to say, "this is my second" and leave it at that...unless they ask how old my oldest is and well then I have to sort of tell them. But sometimes I'll just get right into it and say, "well I had a daughter last year, but she was stillborn" but that just makes for a very awkward situation for that person who asked. Then there's times when I've said, "this is my first" and then I feel just SO awful and horrible, as if I'm dishonouring Katrina - which I know in my heart I'm not.
There's really no easy way around being asked "the question".
About a week after I lost Eli I had a guy who was a total stranger ask me if I had just had a baby. I was so surprised by the question that I didn't know what to say. I was completely caught off guard. I managed to shake my head yes and then said, "but he was stillborn."
After that, I tried to think of the best way to answer a question like "how many kids do you have" but even if you have a pat answer that you have decided on, it doesn't always come out like you want. Like Steph said, I'm totally thrown off and start stuttering and can't seem to say what I want to say. It's so frustrating.