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I'm 12 weeks pregnant now. Given my excellent blood sugars, it's unlikely that what took Ethan from me will happen again. But I am still scared of everything. Every single symptom scares me. Cramps make me google ectopic pregnancy. Diarrhea makes me think I'm going to go into labor and my body is preparing like it does at term. Sudden drops in blood sugar make me think the babies have died (because their placentas normally cause insulin resistance). Back pain makes me think I'm having contractions. Peeing a lot makes me think I have a kidney infection. Being thirsty makes me think my blood pressure is screwed up. These are all very normal pregnancy symptoms, but I interpret them all as signs of disaster. I'd like to think that this paranoia will go away when I reach the point where I lost Ethan (less than 6 weeks away) but I really don't see that happening. He would have been 9 months today btw.
I'm not even sure if I should try to answer that, considering I'm in the same boat. LOL I know that NEW symptoms freak me out. But after having the same one a few times I kind of relax a little bit. Like, okay, I've had this weird pain a few times in the past few weeks and the ultrasound showed the baby was fine. So I kind of loosen the paranoia a little bit.
But it's hard, SO hard, and no one really gets that except those who have been in these shoes. I'm really tired of people who had carefree pregnancies and have never dealt with loss to tell me to relax, that everything will be fine. This paranoia isn't something we choose, it's just... a consequence of the hell we went through. Unfortunately.
I'm also on anti-depressants though. Let me tell you, things got REALLY hairy when I ran out for a few days.
oh Rebecca...I am going through the EXACT same thing. EVERY little thing makes me freaked out. EVERYTHING. I am beyond paranoid and honestly don't know how to deal with any of it.
At the beginning of the pregnancy, I was absolutely paranoid that something was wrong because I had no morning sickness. Now I know that baby's healthy, and even the Genetic Counselor told me to just try to relax and everyone around me says the same thing...but I am still SO scared. Now I worry about other things. Every time I don't feel her move, I am freaking out. Then when I feel her moving around a lot more than normal, I freak out that what if something's wrong and she's trying to tell me. I am a MESS. People IRL laugh at me and call me a nutcase and seriously think I'm crazy with the things I come up with...but I honestly don't know how else to deal.
I'm sorry, but I honestly don't know how to help you. I wish there were some magic words to help us through this. It's so scary. I have faith that my baby girl will be safe and alive and everything will be fine. I have to have faith.
hun having keeley after losing jessica was the 2nd hardest thing to go throu losing jessica being the 1st
i cant even tell u hw i did it cause i dont know! the paranoia will be with u till the very end! n matter hw many times anyone trys to tell u things are ok your/our mind always finds soemthing that could go wrong! and its so hard i really dnt remember much of keeleys pregnancy i wish i had the magic words for u hun i really do
At the beginning of this pregnancy I was almost perfectly fine. A little timid about miscarriage, but not as bad as I thought I'd be...
Then came the night I turned 16 weeks. When I was pregnant with Roald I started puking ALOT every day at exactly 16 weeks. From that day on I became an absolute mess. After 25 weeks passed it got a little better but the pregnancy still seems like it is dragging on and on. And yeah I still get paranoid though because her growth is off. I'm a Google freak too everytime I think something might be "wrong".