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The 26th makes a year from when we lost our precious Keegan.
The pain is still there, I had been doing great lately, other than the whole, I'll never get to do the stuff I'm doing w/Kaden, with Keegan. I still miss him terribly.
I have started having nightmares within the past few days about losing another baby to IC or finding out I'm pregnant and having a miscarriage soon, because Kaden is still a baby in my dreams. So that makes me wake up screaming and crying. I even woke up Kaden a few nights ago crying.
It hit me today, I took a couple extra zoloft, because I realized a year ago today was the last day I thought everything was perfect, then my world was turned upside down the next afternoon when I was admitted to the hospital 3cm dilated w/my membranes bulging and having heavy contractions, then the 24th was when they tried my cerclage and my membranes ruptured, I had to make the decision on the 25th to induce the morning of the 26th.
The baby is staying w/his cousin and grandma tonight so DH and I can have a night/day to grieve since we won't with the holidays coming up on his birthday. So, we're designating tonight.