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Ramble about not TTC, but wanting too.....


Forum: Stillbirth

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  #1  
November 24th, 2009, 08:48 PM
lex1078's Avatar Waiting patiently....
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 6,834
So, as you all know DH and I have put TTC on hold for who knows how long. But with having 2 friends that are trying and it being the holidays and everything, I've got the bug. I truly hate being on birth control. I hate being on a time schedule and really hate taking a pill every single day. I don't want to take it anymore and it's only been a month. I also don't know how to talk to DH about it. I don't know if he is ready or not. I do know that if I talked to him about it, he would say whatever "I" want. He always puts me first, which is nice, but what about him? And I would never know how he's truly feeling cause he would just hide his emotions. I'm thinking maybe in the New Year we will try. Maybe around February or March. I also have a couple of goals that I would like to accomplish too. Important ones at that, like losing 30lbs and quitting smoking. Then I think about all the responsibility that comes along with a baby and think "Am I crazy??" I know I would be the one caring more for the baby than DH because he works. And I don't just mean during the day, but I know that I would take care of everything overnight too. Of course, I'm scared also. What if we have another loss? I think I would just lose it and get my tubes tied at that point and completely forget kids. But I HAVE THE BUG!!! Ugh....

I think I'm going to stick with the BCP until New Years and see how I'm feeling then. It's only one more month basically.

Thanks for the vent...
Night ladies.
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  #2  
November 24th, 2009, 10:09 PM
MeganMomof5's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 11,772
Good luck with your decision.
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  #3  
November 25th, 2009, 07:19 AM
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Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 244
I'm sorry you're struggling with this. Maybe you could tell your husband that you want him to be brutally honest with his feelings about whether to try now or later or at all. Tell him it's very important that you hear how he truly feels, then maybe you guys can discuss it openly and see where you are.

You are already a mother, and I think you will be a mother to another child/children, but that needs to be in a time you are both comfortable with. I know how scary it must be. I'm amazed by all of you who are trying again, comtemplating trying again or already pregnant. It takes a lot of strength and courage and hope.

If you wanna talk, I'm around. *HUGS*


edited to add: oh and the quitting smoking thing...good luck. I quit right before our ivf and it was so hard. I know it would be even harder to quit now when it's such a stress releiver (or perceived stress reliever). *hugs*
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  #4  
November 25th, 2009, 07:27 AM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: CT
Posts: 982
What you are talking about is precisely why I was considering going on bcp's after joey was born, except I didn't get ppaf for 4 months. Because I was afraid I would have an "oops" because I wanted a baby so much it would cloud my judgement and I would get prego before I was ready. I ended up not getting ppaf until July (from an April birth) and then had 2 extra long cycles and found out we were pregnant on Joey's 6 month angelversary.

I find, too, that I want to get pregnant the worst when I can't. Either way, I hope you and your dh can come to some understanding and that he is open and honest with you. In the mean time good luck with reaching your goals! Those are 2 very good goals to have!
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Married to my best friend Tom since 2004 (together since 1999)
Mommy to two little boys:
Jamie ~ 7-12-04 ~ fun, crazy, transformer loving tough-guy mama's boy
and
Joey ~ 4-4-09 ~ born sleeping ~ held under my heart for 40wk1d, in my arms for just 6 short hours but he will be in my heart forever
And finally holding my little girl,Felicity Rose, Born into Daddy's loving hands on June 9, 2010

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  #5  
November 25th, 2009, 12:47 PM
Proud Momma
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 3,781
to you, Steph.

It must be tough when so many around you are trying as well...it makes you really start thinking more. I think you really need to talk to your DH and find out for sure what he really wants. My DH does that too about everything - always flips it around saying it's whatever I want.
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