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Forum: Stillbirth

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  #1  
December 3rd, 2009, 08:22 AM
NutMeg76's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Location: United States
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I was talking to one of the systems people today and she asked how the baby was doing. Ugh. I asked her wich one and she said, 'the new one'. Of course then I had to tell her he was stillborn.

Why was it so friggin hard for my supervisor to do what i aksed and tell EVRYONE in the building what happened? We are a relatively small group, we know eachother well, and people ask questions. It would have been easier on everyone if they had sent out an e-mail, or had it anounced at the weekly meetings.

She was so upset. And she felt so horrible for asking me. I ended up giving her a hug, she was more upset over it then I was.
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  #2  
December 3rd, 2009, 08:39 AM
rebeccabaltimore and more's Avatar (rebeccabaltimore)
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I really do hate your boss
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  #3  
December 3rd, 2009, 08:49 AM
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I am so sorry. That really sucks that your boss couldn't do something as simple as sending out an email so that you don't have to keep dealing with this.
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  #4  
December 3rd, 2009, 11:55 AM
MeganMomof5's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I'm really sorry...I had to deal with that a couple weeks ago when someone I know thought I was still pregnant and I had to tell her the baby was stillborn...Maybe we should get it tattooed on our forheads so people will know and we don't have to explain it to everyone.
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  #5  
December 3rd, 2009, 01:17 PM
HailandNevansmom's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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awh Im so sorry for what happened... i just was scrolling through the forums, and saw this. T&P for you during this time.
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  #6  
December 3rd, 2009, 01:24 PM
HailandNevansmom's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Also I read your blog... and sending you HUGS, and to let you know your lil boy is beautiful.
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  #7  
December 3rd, 2009, 04:01 PM
NutMeg76's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Thanks
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  #8  
December 3rd, 2009, 09:25 PM
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oh Meghan

I phoned one of my best friend's, who I also happen to work with, on the night before I gave birth to Katrina. My whole work all knew something was wrong with Katrina, but I don't think any of them other than 2 of them had any idea she was actually gone So I called her as I was waiting to go into labour and I said, "can I ask you to do one thing at work for me tomorrow?" I told her to please make sure to tell everyone at work that we lost Katrina and that I'm going into labour any time now to deliver her. I'm pretty sure she told my boss, but our work seriously has 6 people working there, including me....so it's really not that big of a group nor that hard of a task. I relied on her to tell everyone because well she loves talking and she's a pretty outspoken girl, so I figured it would be a pretty straightforward task for her to do. Well about a week later, I got a pm on my fb from one of my co-workers who wrote, "I'm so sorry about the loss of your little one Steph. I had no idea until I saw your post on fb that she didn't make it." I was at a loss for words. Yes, I know nobody likes talking about death....but c'mon this is something you can't really just hide from someone that I'm going to see once I go back to work!

What I think really bothered me is that they were all probably having a great, fun day at work laughing and everything and acting as if everything was normal, and there I was, in the hospital about to deliver my Katrina not alive.

Sorry to go off on my own tangent here, but it's so frustrating why people can't just let everyone know. Jon asked one of his co-workers to let everyone know about her and the next day everyone knew, and he works in a bank, so there's a LOT more people working there. Jon didn't want to have to deal with having to answer to "how's the pregnancy going?" or something once he got back to work a few weeks later.

Last edited by LaLaLa1; December 3rd, 2009 at 09:28 PM.
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  #9  
December 4th, 2009, 12:40 AM
lunarmagic's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Oh man, I'm sorry.
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  #10  
December 4th, 2009, 01:02 AM
claire1979's Avatar mummy to a special angel
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  #11  
December 4th, 2009, 07:33 AM
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So sorry that happened Meg. More than I hate needing to tell people my baby isn't with me, I hate feeling like I need to comfort them because they feel bad for asking. I had a big long discussion with dh last night that recently i've been feeeling like I've been putting on such a good act of being okay (because its just easier that way) that i've forgotten to acknowledge the feelings i do have and it has not had a good effect on me recently.

anyway...hope this is the last time this happens to you.
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And finally holding my little girl,Felicity Rose, Born into Daddy's loving hands on June 9, 2010

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  #12  
December 4th, 2009, 08:01 AM
Mega Super Mommy
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Location: New York
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So sorry about that. But you know I was asked too yesterday by a shoe cleaning guy that comes to our office. However, he just asked "who did you have", and I said " a boy" without going into any details. That was it. He didn't ask any other questions, and I was releived. It kind of makes me angry that people still ask about it, but at the same time I noticed that it's gotten a bit easier to talk about it.
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  #13  
December 4th, 2009, 09:38 AM
NutMeg76's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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It is just such a sucky situation. At least at my new location there won'tbe people who knew I was pregnant.
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