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Finalizing the memorial for Eric


Forum: Stillbirth

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  #1  
January 6th, 2010, 07:46 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: New York
Posts: 1,759
We finally agreed on the details for the stone for Eric with the monument company. It's not quite what we wanted as there are a few restrictions from the cemetery, but overall I think it's ok. What bothers me the most though is that we can't come up with any words or phrases to describe our real feelings for our loss, so we just had to go with what most people put when they lose a loved one "Forever in our hearts ... until we meet again". I feel really bad about it and even guilty that I can't say anything else to my own son. It's like I have so many emotions and feelings deep inside me but I just can't pick the right words. My husband was always better in writing then me. He would write little poems on our birthdays, anniversaries, but he's been struggling with this also. It's been bothering me for the last couple of weeks, and I did some research and know what other people write but I can't just copy from them. I know it has to come from us. But I just feel empty and can't come up with anything. Maybe I don't care enough anymore??
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  #2  
January 6th, 2010, 08:06 AM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Littleton, CO
Posts: 43,523
I don't think it's that you don't care enough, because you DO. But you only have so much emotional energy. I'm sure you'll feel better now that it's done. You can only do so much before it all turns off and you have to be numb for a while.



I've always liked "If love could have saved you, you would have lived forever."
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  #3  
January 6th, 2010, 08:26 AM
MeganMomof5's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 11,772
i'm glad you are getting everything finalized...I know what you mean, i'm the same way...I have all these feelings, but I don't know how to put them into words...I'm not good at writing things either.
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  #4  
January 6th, 2010, 09:25 AM
rebeccabaltimore and more's Avatar (rebeccabaltimore)
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 1,842
It's because you care SO much that you are at a loss for words. I'm normally pretty well spoken, but when it comes to talking about how I feel I find myself parroting what other people have had to say about pregnancy loss. I just get too choked up trying to say it in my own words. Eric knows how much you love him!!!
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  #5  
January 6th, 2010, 11:51 AM
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Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 3,781
It doesn't at all mean you don't care anymore. Sometimes it's just so hard to find the right words. I totally thought I knew what I wanted Katrina's headstone to say but when it came down to it, we ended up just going with the usual words "Forever in Our Hearts". She will forever be in our hearts so as cliche as that may sound, it is very, very true.

If we had more space on the headstone (we only get a certain amount as well), I would have probably written the phrase I came up with:
"In our hearts you'll forever be, over the rainbow an Angel so free" (because there was a huge rainbow on the day she was born) or the other one I came up with "Our arms may be empty but our hearts are full, with the most purest love one could ever know". But of course I didn't come up with this saying for many, many months after losing her (and there wouldn't have been enough room to write that anyway).
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