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Forum: Stillbirth

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  #1  
January 8th, 2010, 09:27 AM
Newbie
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 2
SO..... I lost my little girl on January 27 2009 at 36 w 4 days...... and although everyone is so thoughtful , noone in my family knows what im going through so i don't really feel like i can talk to them.... i feel soo soo very empty all the time. i miss her soo much even though i never met her. i cant stay home because it feels like she should be there.. and i hate going out because it seems like everywhere i turn there is a baby or pregnant woman. i have been ttc since march with no luck... Haylee Esabella would have been my first child and sometimes it seems like im just not meant to be a mommy. i almost feel physical pain from wanting a child of my own so bad... im sorry for rambling but i just needed to vent to people who would understand my situation... how long did it take yall to conceive after loss<if you did>
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  #2  
January 8th, 2010, 09:53 AM
Proud Momma
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 3,781
I am so sorry to have to welcome you to this board The ladies here are so amazing and supportive.

It's so sad that everytime a new person joins, they say that family / friends don't know what they're going through and they feel all alone. We've all unfortunately experienced this and people will probably expect you to move on very fast. Please join us here whenever you need to talk, cry, vent, or whatever.

My name is Stephanie and I lost my first daughter Katrina back in August 2008 at 22w3d.

It took my husband and I 8 months to conceive our rainbow baby (who is due this March). I was getting extremely depressed every month that we weren't pregnant. It's very tough, but please be gentle on yourself. I also had the same feelings as you that I thought I would never get pregnant and thought I would never be a mommy to a living baby. I hope and pray that I do become a mommy to a living baby this March!!!! and I hope it happens soon for you too

Many, many

Last edited by LaLaLa1; January 8th, 2010 at 09:58 AM.
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  #3  
January 8th, 2010, 10:20 AM
claire1979's Avatar mummy to a special angel
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: huddersfield, england
Posts: 33,629
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hello and welcome hun, as steph said im sorry we have to welcome u to ''our'' board.

im claire co host , i lost my daughter jessica in june of 05 to a cord accident i was 24 weeks pregnant.

thou time dosent heal the pain of losing her it does get easier to bare the pain.

i have since had keeley she is 21 months old, i did get pregnant 10 months after losin jessica but sadley lost that baby too.then got pregnant with keeley a year after my 2nd loss and she has bought so much happiness after losin 2 babies

i hope u stay and get the support u need.
so very sorry for your loss x x
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  #4  
January 8th, 2010, 10:56 AM
noworries
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I am so sorry for your loss but I'm glad that you've found us. This is a great group of ladies. HUGS. My son was stillborn Aug. 29, 2009 and I found out that I was pregnant again on Dec. 17, 2009. So, I conceived pretty much 3 months after Eli was born. This next baby is due a day after Eli's birthday.

Last edited by noworries; January 8th, 2010 at 12:53 PM.
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  #5  
January 8th, 2010, 11:01 AM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Littleton, CO
Posts: 43,568
I'm so sorry to see this. My loss was my first baby, too. Cora Rei was stillborn May 2, 2006, at 38w due to a cord accident.

I, too, felt like I wasn't meant to be a mother. I think that's something we all feel.

I conceived Erin 5 months after Cora was born, on our second cycle trying.

I'm so sorry you have to join us here.
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  #6  
January 8th, 2010, 11:02 AM
lilflower
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Posts: n/a
I am so sorry for the loss of your little girl. And I am sorry that you had to join this board. I hope you find these women as wonderful and as helpful as we all do.

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  #7  
January 8th, 2010, 11:42 AM
MeganMomof5's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 11,772
I'm really sorry about your loss....I hope you feel free to jump and be active here...It's so nice to talk to others that understand....I can't help on the TTC as i'm still trying, but don't give up all hope, i'm sure in time it will happen for you.
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  #8  
January 8th, 2010, 04:58 PM
beck12's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Michigan
Posts: 12,330
I hope no one minds me popping in (I was actually looking to see if you came over since you said you thought you would), but I *think* you are the lady I referred here & I wanted to say how glad I am that you came over here! You really will find these ladies to be so warm & they will be able to support you in ways that no one else can. I am so sorry you have a need to find this kind of support, but what a blessing that when you need, there are ladies here with open arms that have walked this road as well & know where you are. Again I am so sorry for your loss & hope you find a safe place to rest your heart here!

Much love!
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We've begun to raise daughters more like sons... but few have the courage to raise our sons more like our daughters. ~Gloria Steinem

If a man has been his mother's undisputed darling he retains throughout life the triumphant feeling, the confidence in success, which not seldom brings actual success along with it. ~Sigmund Freud
My mom is a neverending song in my heart of comfort, happiness, and being. I may sometimes forget the words but I always remember the tune. ~Graycie Harmon
Don't wait to make your son a great man - make him a great boy. ~Author Unknown
You don't raise heroes, you raise sons. And if you treat them like sons, they'll turn out to be heroes, even if it's just in your own eyes. ~Walter M. Schirra, Sr.
A man loves his sweetheart the most, his wife the best, but his mother the longest. ~Irish Proverb
Mother's love is peace. It need not be acquired, it need not be deserved. ~Erich Fromm
Children need love, especially when they do not deserve it. - Harold Hulbert
Mother is the name for God in the lips and hearts of little children. ~William Makepeace Thackeray
God could not be everywhere, so he created mothers. ~Jewish Proverb
The best conversations with mothers always take place in silence, when only the heart speaks. ~Carrie Latet




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  #9  
January 8th, 2010, 06:18 PM
grlpisces's Avatar Dynamite w/ a laser beam
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: 32.918289,-97.272266
Posts: 1,758
My heart goes out to you on the loss of your precious baby girl. I lost my son Noah, twin brother to Julia, due to an umbilical cord accident. At 32 weeks gestation, the doctor could not find his heartbeat.

Just recently, our beautiful miracle rainbow baby was delivered on December 4th, 2009. I say miracle because, while it took us over 5 years and infertility treatments to get pregnant in the first place, it took nothing but a weekend getaway to conceive Sydney (Julia was 8 months old at the time).

to you. Please feel free to discuss, cry, vent, etc. anytime about anything. We've all been there
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  #10  
January 8th, 2010, 06:40 PM
lex1078's Avatar Waiting patiently....
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 6,834
So sorry to hear about your loss. I really wish you didn't have to join us here. I lost my twin girls to TTTS (Twin to Twin Transfusion Syndrome) and had a loss last July. I do not have any living children. DH and I are on hold for a couple of months right now cause of cysts on my ovaries that I'm getting removed in the next week, I hope.
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  #11  
January 9th, 2010, 03:06 AM
heathernoel's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Maitland, Florida
Posts: 9,385
Hi I'm sorry to hear that you are joining us

My name is Heather, and I have two little boys that didn't get to come home.

Marshall was born still in March 08, and in December of that year, we learned we were pregnant again. Unfortunately, Jonah was also born sleeping (anencephaly) and didn't get to come home either. Again, last month, I felt funny, and how have it confirmed...I'm pregnant again. *scared*

I wish you luck and lots of baby dust.
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  #12  
January 9th, 2010, 06:55 AM
SarahBethsMommy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 4,847
Hi and a very sad welcome to our board. This place has been a God-send to me. I lost my second child, my only son, Bryan Luke for unknown reasons. He was born still at 33 weeks on August 4, 2007. My DD was born at 27 weeks on April 3, 2006, but survived after many days of fighting. She is now 3.5 years old.

DH and I are also foster parents and have 4 foster kids right now. One we've had since July 2008 and we are hoping to adopt him eventually. The other three will not need to be adopted, and we'll have them until around May probably.

AND, I'm pregnant again. DH and waited 2 years before TTC again after Bryan Luke's death. I'm more than terrified but also so completely excited. We are praying for a healthy full term baby this time.

Sometimes it seems that nothing we want will ever happen, but I believe that you and your DH really want to, Haylee will be a big sister one day (I'll pray it is soon).
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  #13  
January 9th, 2010, 02:04 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 2,095
I am so sorry about your loss of Haylee. Our daughter Evangeline was born still in June of 2008. We started trying again after two cycles and got pregnant again in October, but that pregnancy was ectopic and ended in a ruptured tube. We were about to start trying again in April, but jumped the gun and got pregnant again in March. Sadly, our son was born still in August 2010. I also feel like I am not meant to have anymore children (we are very fortunate to have a living child who is 5 years old), and how painful that thought is. I hope you get your rainbow baby soon. All of our stories deserve happy endings.
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  #14  
January 9th, 2010, 03:09 PM
rebeccabaltimore and more's Avatar (rebeccabaltimore)
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 1,842
I'm so sorry you have had to find us here. My son Ethan, conceived with fertility treatment, was born still at 18 weeks last February due to severe kidney defects caused by my then-undiagnosed diabetes. He is my first child. I waited 3 months to TTC for health reasons, and (again with fertility assistance) I got pregnant with triplets 4 months after that, so 7 months total between pregnancies. We lost two of the triplets in November (sadly common in multiple pregnancies) but we are expecting our second little boy in May.

I hope you are able to find some peace here, I would not have survived without this place.
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  #15  
January 9th, 2010, 03:41 PM
lunarmagic's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: MA
Posts: 4,037
I am so sorry for your loss of your precious little girl.

We lost our firstborn, Devin, in March of 2008 at 36 weeks due to a cord accident. Devin was conceived with IVF, and it took many more IVF cycles to conceive this little one I'm now carrying. I'm sorry it's taking a while, I know how horribly stressful and frustrating it is when all you want is to be pregnant again.
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  #16  
January 9th, 2010, 08:40 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: New York
Posts: 1,760
Sad welcome to our board. I wish that I won't see any new names here. We lost our boy Eric Jason in July of 2009 at 39 weeks for unknown reasons.
This board had become an incredible source of support for me and I don't know how I would've survived if it wasn't for this board. Everyone here truly understands what we have to go through.
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