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I lost my twin boys


Forum: Stillbirth

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  #1  
January 9th, 2010, 06:45 AM
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 25
Jan 4th at 22 weeks I suddendly started having labor pains in the hospital I lost my Beautiful twin boys.
I am so heartbroken and can not stop crying and thinking about them and our lives together. I knew having twins was going to change my life but just not like this. I miss them so much.
We had a funeral for them yesterday and laid them to rest my 2 angels Jack and Sam. I do not know what to do next. Filled with grief and tears. I am so sad but MAD why did this have to happen to us they would have been my first children.
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  #2  
January 9th, 2010, 07:05 AM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: CT
Posts: 982
I'm so sorry for your loss...that your little boys couldn't stay with you longer. I"m so glad you found this group...please don't be afraid to share whatever you are feeling....we understand....we won't tell you to "feel better' or any of the other hurtful comments of people just trying to help. What is important right now is that you take care of yourself and allow yourself to grieve.

My name is Kathryn and my 2nd baby Joey became an angel last spring. He was stillborn at 40w2d, he died of an umbilical cord accident.
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Kathryn
Married to my best friend Tom since 2004 (together since 1999)
Mommy to two little boys:
Jamie ~ 7-12-04 ~ fun, crazy, transformer loving tough-guy mama's boy
and
Joey ~ 4-4-09 ~ born sleeping ~ held under my heart for 40wk1d, in my arms for just 6 short hours but he will be in my heart forever
And finally holding my little girl,Felicity Rose, Born into Daddy's loving hands on June 9, 2010

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  #3  
January 9th, 2010, 07:13 AM
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 25
thanks I am so lost - i am also shocked to realize how many women are feeling this pain it is scary... we have to tell my 2 step children today 7 and 14 and I am scared they were so excited for this new addition
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  #4  
January 9th, 2010, 07:35 AM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Littleton, CO
Posts: 43,573


I'm so sorry. My loss was my first baby too. Cora Rei was stillborn at 38 weeks on May 2, 2006, due to a cord accident.

It is really hard to understand why deaths of babies is still so common. I thought it didn't ever happen anymore, and was shocked to see just how many women it still happens to.

I remember that lost feeling. Just let yourself feel what you are feeling, and come here whenever you need us.

again
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  #5  
January 9th, 2010, 07:58 AM
SarahBethsMommy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 4,847
Oh, I'm SO sorry that you have to join us here! My second child, my only son, Bryan Luke was stillborn on August 4, 2007. We don't know why he died.

This board and these ladies have been wonderful for me. I hope we can be a support to you as well!
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  #6  
January 9th, 2010, 08:21 AM
lex1078's Avatar Waiting patiently....
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 6,834
I'm so sorry for your loss. I can understand your pain as I lost twin girls in November of 2008 at 23 weeks gestation. They were our first children also. Do you know why you went into labor so early? If you ever need to talk, please PM me. You can feel free to vent here all you need to. The ladies are so awesome and understanding.
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  #7  
January 9th, 2010, 08:33 AM
heathernoel's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Maitland, Florida
Posts: 9,385
I am so sorry to have to welcome you here. My name is Heather, and my fourth and fifth children, both boys, are angels.

Right now there are no words I could say that would make you feel better, except to say you have found a group of women who know how it feels to be alone in a room full of people. I am glad you are here, and would love to hear more about your boys when you are ready.
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  #8  
January 9th, 2010, 09:23 AM
rebeccabaltimore and more's Avatar (rebeccabaltimore)
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 1,842
My name is Rebecca, I lost my son Ethan last February and lost two of my triplets in November. I am so very sorry for your loss. I'm glad you found us, but I'm so sorry that you have to be here.
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  #9  
January 9th, 2010, 10:08 AM
MeganMomof5's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 11,772
i'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your boys ...I'm glad you found this group, and I hope we can be here to help you with anything, or to even just listen...I lost my baby almost 3 months ago at 22w 3d.
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  #10  
January 9th, 2010, 10:58 AM
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Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: DEWITT MICHIGAN
Posts: 443
I am so very sorry to hear about your angels I wish they could have stayed with you. I hope we all here can be of comfort to you. We will always be here to listen. I lost my baby boy august 17th 2009 of a umbilical cord accident we lost him @ 40W and 1d. It is very devasting. My heart goes out to you.
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  #11  
January 9th, 2010, 11:00 AM
grlpisces's Avatar Dynamite w/ a laser beam
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: 32.918289,-97.272266
Posts: 1,758
My heart goes out to you. Please accept my condolences on the loss of your beautiful twin boys

My name is Barb. I lost my beautiful son Noah on 7/22/2008 at 32 weeks gestation due to a cord accident. He was a twin brother to our daughter Julia and they were our first pregnancy.

Please feel free to come in here to discuss anything on your mind, in your heart, whatever. We are always happy to listen.
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Thank you to Jaidynsmum for my beautiful siggie!

I'm Barb, Mom to Angel on Earth Julia Rose (7*22*08), her twin brother Angel in Heaven Noah (7*22*08), and rainbow baby Sydney Noelle (12*4*09).





*a special 'thank you' to all the blinkie creators for their talents*
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  #12  
January 9th, 2010, 11:52 AM
claire1979's Avatar mummy to a special angel
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: huddersfield, england
Posts: 33,629
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im so very sorry to have to welcome u here hun and sorry for the loss of ur special boys im claire co host here, i lost my daughter jessica in june of 05.
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  #13  
January 9th, 2010, 12:23 PM
lunarmagic's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: MA
Posts: 4,037
I am so very sorry for your loss. I am Natalie and I lost Devin, my firstborn, at 36 weeks gestation due to a cord accident. I hope you find some comfort here. It is a sad place to be, none of us wishes we were here, but having people who understand can be a lifesaver.
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  #14  
January 9th, 2010, 01:48 PM
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 25
Wow thanks for all your kind words and wishes, I know in my head it will get easier but in my heart I can not see how - Is there every any answers as to why or will this be a mystery?

did they have any answers for you, i go back to the doctor on the 19th and i am hoping for a why? Twins were not in my family and this was going to be quite amazing they still are amazing although in my heart, My body is longing to feel them this empty feeling is unbearable
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  #15  
January 9th, 2010, 02:46 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 2,095
I am so sorry for your loss. Personally, I have found that the pain doesn't fade, but that you grow into it and it becomes easier to bear. I hope you find some measure of peace. I lost my daughter Evangeline at 24 weeks and my son Declan at 25 weeks. We still do not know why they died.
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  #16  
January 9th, 2010, 04:03 PM
rebeccabaltimore and more's Avatar (rebeccabaltimore)
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 1,842
I did have answers after an autopsy and a bunch of genetic tests. My son's kidneys were badly damaged from my diabetes - I didn't even know I was diabetic. With my two lost triplets, it was very clear what was wrong with one (Turner's Syndrome) but less clear about the other (baby wasn't growing). They said that both were complications of a multiple pregnancy.

I hope you get an answer when you see your doctor.
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  #17  
January 9th, 2010, 04:12 PM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Littleton, CO
Posts: 43,573
To quote the tv show Dollhouse (she was talking to a man about the loss of his wife)

"It's not something you get past. It just becomes a part of who you are."

I feel like it's on the back burner, simmering. I know it's there, and sometimes I take the lid off and give it a stir, but I have other things that need more attention right now. My every waking moment I am aware that my first child isn't with me. And my every waking moment I love and miss her. But it no longer require all my attention any more.



I hope you can find some sort of answer. But even though I know what caused her death, I'll never be able to answer the question of why me, why her?
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Last edited by Brittanie; January 9th, 2010 at 10:25 PM.
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  #18  
January 9th, 2010, 09:55 PM
Mega Super Mommy
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Location: New York
Posts: 1,760
I'm sorry you have to join us. This board has become an incredible source of suppor for me. We lost Eric almost 6 months ago at 39 weeks for undetermined cause. The first few months will be the hardest ones, then you will just learn to live with it. I know it's hard to beleive right now, but it will get easier but the pain and questions of why it happened to us are still here.
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  #19  
January 9th, 2010, 10:18 PM
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Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 3,781
I am so sorry to hear about your boys It breaks my heart every time there's someone new having to join us here

The ladies on this board are so amazing and supportive and anytime you need to talk, we'll be here for you.

I'm Stephanie and I lost my first daughter Katrina at 22w3d back on August 9, 2008. Losing a baby is the most devastating thing anyone could ever experience and even though it does get easier over time, the pain will never fully go away.

Many, many
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  #20  
January 10th, 2010, 08:50 AM
noworries
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I am so very sorry for the loss of your boys. It is not something you ever get over, but you do get through it. They will always be part of your life and be your boys. I'm glad you found this board, the ladies here are incredible.
I'm Carrie and my 2nd baby, Eli, was stillborn on August 29, 2009. We had an amniocentesis done right before I was induced and they took several vials of blood from me and we chose to have an autopsy performed. We found out that the actual cause of death was a virus that I contracted while I was pregnant (CMV) but had that not killed him he also had Trisomy 13 (a chromosomal disorder) that is said to be incompatible with life. Most babies born with Trisomy 13 die within the first few months of being born.
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