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It is so nice that you've been thinking of me. I'm hanging in there, but there are good days and bad days. I went back to work almost two months ago, and that has been pretty difficult. It seems that there is a baby boom happening there and everywhere I turn I get smacked in the face with a belly. It's weird though, because it hurts but I'm used to it, if you know what I mean.
We have been to see a genetic counselor and they are testing DH and I for a bunch of different conditions. We go to the doctor in two weeks to hear the autopsy findings. Waiting for those has been very difficult. Mostly I am trying to prepare myself for future in which I do not have any more children, and that is very, very painful. Excruciating, actually. It is heartbreaking to me to realize that I may never attend a child's college graduation or wedding, or that I may never have grandchildren to keep me young in my old age (for those of you that are new to this board, I have a 5 year old that has been diagnosed with moderate autism so his future is uncertain). This sounds very dark and depressing, and that is largely why I haven't come here much. I would rather have something positive to contribute and I haven't been able to find a positive outlook yet.
On the 'good news' front, we are going to Disney in March. Connor is super excited about it. We took him to get his passport photo done and told him it was so we could get him a little book that let him go to Disney. After we left the photo place he asked if we were going to Disney then. So cute. I had to explain that it would be a few months before we could go, poor guy. Some days he seems so verbal, other days he seems to 'forget' how to communicate with us. Or maybe he doesn't forget, he just doesn't want to connect? I don't know. Consequently, as he has his good days and bad days, I do too. I worry about him so much.
Anyway, that's a little catch-up on me. How is everyone else? Congrats to all of you with new little ones. I am so happy for all of you! Every time one of you has a healthy, successful pregnancy I feel a little less angry at the injustice in all of this. Wow, I didn't mean to write a novel! LOL. Post your updates, please. I want to know what is new with all of you!
Don't worry about being depressing. Sometimes you can support others, sometimes you are the one in need of support. We're here for you when you need us.
It's so cute that Connor is so excited about Disney. My best friend's nephew (whose family I'm fairly close with) is autistic and my best friend's son has been diagnosed with "autistic tendencies" with further evaluation pending. I see the struggle they have with their kids, so I can imagine it's so difficult for you. I truly hope that the genetic tests result in hope for you.
We're doing good. Erin is 2 1/2 and getting smarter every day, and Patrick is 10 1/2 months. He's cruising furniture...but not seeming interested in walking at all. lol.