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  #1  
January 12th, 2010, 12:53 PM
Blessedx3
Guest
Posts: n/a
I don't want to be here as I'm sure none of us does. I just lost
my little
one sat I don't know what to do with myself I'm still
in the hospital. I
miss baby boy. I just want to hold him again how
do u get past that?
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  #2  
January 12th, 2010, 01:20 PM
grlpisces's Avatar Dynamite w/ a laser beam
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: 32.918289,-97.272266
Posts: 1,758
to you, and a sad welcome to the club which nobody wants to belong to
My condolences to you on the loss of your precious baby boy.

This pain is still so fresh for you and it will never go away, but one day you will realize that you have learned to live with it. Please stay with us; this is the most amazing group of women you will ever get to know.

I lost my son Noah, twin brother to Julia, at 32 weeks gestation due to a cord accident and to be honest, I don't know where my head would be if I hadn't found this group when I most needed ears to listen to my vents and shoulders to cry on.

I am so very sorry to have to welcome you here
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I'm Barb, Mom to Angel on Earth Julia Rose (7*22*08), her twin brother Angel in Heaven Noah (7*22*08), and rainbow baby Sydney Noelle (12*4*09).





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  #3  
January 12th, 2010, 01:29 PM
noworries
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I'm glad you came here Starry. This is a great group of ladies.
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  #4  
January 12th, 2010, 01:41 PM
MeganMomof5's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 11,772
I'm so very sorry to have to welcome you to his board...I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your baby boy ...This isn't a place anyone ever wants to have to be....I wish there was something I could say, but I don't know what to say, except how sorry I am...I hope we can offer you support whenever you need it. (((Hugs)))
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  #5  
January 12th, 2010, 02:21 PM
Proud Momma
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 3,781
I'm so sorry you have to join us here The ladies here truly are amazing and so supportive, so I hope at least in that aspect you can find some comfort.

I'm Stephanie and my DH and I lost our first baby girl, Katrina, in August 2008. Not a moment goes by that I don't think of and long for her, but over time I have learned how to cope with the pain of not having her here with us.

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  #6  
January 12th, 2010, 02:24 PM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Littleton, CO
Posts: 43,573
Oh Starry. I'm so sad that you have to be here. I wish there was something I could do or say, but I can't. I'm going to quote a couple of TV shows instead:

From Dollhouse:
"You don't get past it, it just becomes a part of you."

And from Castle:
"No, it never goes away, but one morning you wake up and realize you don't mind carrying it around with you."

I don't know that I AM past it. I just...got used to it. There are still moments and days when my arms ache for her.

But, it does get easier to carry. It won't be so suffocating after a while.

I wish so much that he was there with you, keeping you up all night screaming.
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  #7  
January 12th, 2010, 02:37 PM
TanyaM's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Alberta, Canada
Posts: 2,304
I think Brittanie said it well about not necessarily getting past losing him but just getting used to it. He is a part of you and always will be. That is something that no one can ever take away from you. It takes time but you learn to exist and live again with everyone around you even though you are changed forever. I'm so sorry Starry.
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  #8  
January 12th, 2010, 03:05 PM
MeganMomof5's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 11,772
I agree with everyone...It's only been 3 months for me...There was a time that I didn't think i'd ever stop crying, but now there are days I don't cry...I honestly didn't think that would ever happen...Once again i'm sorry It's so hard welcoming new people, and I know for me seeing posts from new members just brings back all the feelings that I felt when it happend to me...I wish no one ever had to feel that way.
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  #9  
January 12th, 2010, 04:14 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: CT
Posts: 982
I am so sorry for your loss. My angel is a little boy as well...he passed away likely on his due date and I delivered him 2 days later. No matter how long you hold them its never long enough. All I can tell you is to get PLENTY of hugs from your living child, from your siggy it looks like you have a beautiful little girl! It doesn't take the pain away, and no child will ever replace your little guy...but it does help to soften things a bit.

What the other ladies say is true...it is not something you ever get over. It has been 9 months for us and I"m now expecting again, but I think about Joey every minute of every day...the difference is he is simply part of me. I only cry once in awhile now. I feel like I fell asleep on April 3rd (he was born April 4th) then one day not too long ago, woke up with this memory...i was in a fog for a LOOOONG time. Allow others to help you with taking care of Hope and with household things so you can focus on YOU right now. Don't hide from your grief.

we are here for you mama.
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Kathryn
Married to my best friend Tom since 2004 (together since 1999)
Mommy to two little boys:
Jamie ~ 7-12-04 ~ fun, crazy, transformer loving tough-guy mama's boy
and
Joey ~ 4-4-09 ~ born sleeping ~ held under my heart for 40wk1d, in my arms for just 6 short hours but he will be in my heart forever
And finally holding my little girl,Felicity Rose, Born into Daddy's loving hands on June 9, 2010

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  #10  
January 12th, 2010, 04:32 PM
rebeccabaltimore and more's Avatar (rebeccabaltimore)
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 1,842
I'm sorry that you have to be here. Almost a year ago my son Ethan was born still at 18 weeks. I miss him everyday. It does become a part of you, it doesn't get easier but it does get much less overwhelming. I found a book called "Empty Cradle, Broken Heart" and it really helped me through the first weeks when the grief seemed unbearable.

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  #11  
January 12th, 2010, 05:51 PM
Veteran
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: DEWITT MICHIGAN
Posts: 443
I agree with the other ladies you never really truly get past it. I am so sorry you have to join us but this is a great group to belong to, without these ladies I think I would have had to be commited. I lost my baby boy almost 5 months ago at full term due to a cord accident. There is not a day that I don't think about him and miss him I still have days o cry but not everyday like before. I wish I could take your pain away but I can't all I can do is be a friend and listen. My prayers and thoughts are with you ((((( hugs))))))
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  #12  
January 12th, 2010, 07:48 PM
lunarmagic's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: MA
Posts: 4,037
I'm so so sorry for your loss. The first month after losing our baby boy (35w5d) are a total blur to me. I think I only got through it on autopilot, just trying to handle every day, every hour, as it came. After a while it does get easier to make it through the days, but it took a while. A lot of grieving... which in so many ways feels like physical pain, it is so overwhelming.

Nearly 2 years later I have found a place of peace. I still miss my little boy, I do. But he is precious, my special son, and he has a place in my life, even still. He's still very much a part of my life.
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  #13  
January 12th, 2010, 08:39 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: New York
Posts: 1,760
I'm really sorry for your loss. Like other ladies said you don't get past that you just learn to live with it. Today is 6 months since we lost our precious boy Eric at 39 weeks. There is no day goes by that I don't think of him. This board had become a life saver for me. I hope we can offer you as much support as you need.
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  #14  
January 13th, 2010, 03:25 AM
claire1979's Avatar mummy to a special angel
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: huddersfield, england
Posts: 33,629
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oh hun im so sorry you ve had to join us here im claire im the host of the board! im sorry for the loss of your precious little boy,

the girls have covered it all hun x

special hugs to you
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  #15  
January 13th, 2010, 05:05 AM
lex1078's Avatar Waiting patiently....
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 6,834
I'm so sorry for your loss. Feel free to vent here whenever needed. Take your time to grieve and remember everyone grieves differently.
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  #16  
January 13th, 2010, 05:52 AM
Jaidynsmum's Avatar Dreams do come true....
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Location: Scotland, UK
Posts: 15,647
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I'm so sorry for your loss hun. Take care of yourself xxxxxxx
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  #17  
January 15th, 2010, 07:44 AM
liz bevan's Avatar Super Mommy
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Location: Edmonton, AB
Posts: 998
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I am so sorry for your loss
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Thank you so much for the awesome siggie Claire
Our joys will be greater
Our love will be deeper
Our lives will be fuller
Because we shared your moment
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  #18  
January 15th, 2010, 01:30 PM
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 25
I am so sorry for your loss - I lost my Twin Angels Jack and Sam on January 4th 2010 they were only 22 weeks, it has been 11 days and it still hurts, I know everyone is right and I will find a way to get through the day with out crying - sorry you have to be here but it really has helped me over the last few days to read everyone's story -

I am so sorry for your loss...
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