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Forum: Stillbirth

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  #1  
January 19th, 2010, 05:13 PM
rebeccabaltimore and more's Avatar (rebeccabaltimore)
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Ethan's first birthday* is February 10 and fast approaching..

What should we do for it? We have no grave to visit. I don't want to do a big memorial. I want to keep it pretty small, but I think I'd like my close family to be there. We're Jewish, so big family meals are a big thing for us, but being 6 months pregnant I don't want to cook. Would it be weird to go to a quiet restaurant? And/Or we could go to the duck pond at a nearby cemetery and do a balloon release. I really just have no clue what to do.

Any thoughts?




*The term angelversary does not apply, we are Jewish and angels are not sweet innocent things in our religion, nor are they a prominent feature of the religion anyway. I get frustrated when people try to call his birthday angelversary, they assume I'm their religion grumble grumble grinch.
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  #2  
January 19th, 2010, 05:49 PM
NutMeg76's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I am not sure. I think a quiet meal in a restaurant would be fine. Maybe do the balloon release first and then go out to eat. We went to a diner after Colm's funeral service.

I don't know if you have noticed, but I don't say Colm is an angel either. In Christianity a human can not become an angel, it doesn't work that way. I believe he is a saint.
Quote:
saint (sānt)
noun
a holy person
a person who is exceptionally meek, charitable, patient, etc.
those, esp. holy persons, who have died and are believed to be with God
in the New Testament, any Christian
a member of any of certain religious groups calling themselves Saints
in certain Christian churches, a person officially recognized as having lived an exceptionally holy life, and thus as being in heaven and capable of interceding for sinners; canonized person
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Last edited by NutMeg76; January 19th, 2010 at 08:12 PM.
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  #3  
January 19th, 2010, 08:00 PM
rebeccabaltimore and more's Avatar (rebeccabaltimore)
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That's what I love about you guys - you are always teaching me something.
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  #4  
January 19th, 2010, 08:58 PM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
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I think a restaurant could be okay. I mean, it's not like you're going to be proclaiming to everyone what you're doing right?

As for the angel thing, well, that doesn't go for ALL Christians. Here's what my church has to say: Bible Dictionary: Angels

Hrm...maybe I should change the name of the "angel memorial list." What would be a better name for it? After all, Rebecca, you're not the only one to bring that up, I've had others mention that they don't call their babies angels either. I changed it because it sounded better than "the loss list," as that seemed so cold. But it's not entirely appropriate.
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  #5  
January 19th, 2010, 09:12 PM
NutMeg76's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Interesting. It looks like your church uses a more liberal interpretation of the term 'angel'.
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  #6  
January 19th, 2010, 09:27 PM
rebeccabaltimore and more's Avatar (rebeccabaltimore)
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I've gotten used to the term angel at this point, when we're referring to all of our little ones. I just don't use it for Ethan specifically.
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  #7  
January 19th, 2010, 09:32 PM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NutMeg76 View Post
Interesting. It looks like your church uses a more liberal interpretation of the term 'angel'.
lol, pretty much.
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  #8  
January 20th, 2010, 06:22 AM
lilflower
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For Noah's first birthday (it sounds prettier) we went to a park and did a balloon release and I came home and had a cupcake by myself. Nobody seemed that interested in it except me. This year I don't know what I'll do because it will be his 2nd, and I'm due to have this baby right before hand.... I didn't know that Ethan and I shared a birthday
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  #9  
January 20th, 2010, 08:55 AM
noworries
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I think a balloon release and then a nice meal at a quiet restaurant sounds perfect.
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  #10  
January 20th, 2010, 11:31 AM
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A restaurant is a nice idea, I think! We "celebrated" Katrina's one year at a restaurant with both of our immediate families.
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  #11  
January 20th, 2010, 03:14 PM
heathernoel's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Rebecca, some of my fb friends were talking about a lantern release...if you are doing it in the evening...I think they'd be awesome!! Here's a UK link (oddly enough, haven't looked for one here. LOL)

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I think I'm going to do this for each of the boys and my mom this year!
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  #12  
January 20th, 2010, 03:16 PM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
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Oh Heather, I LOVE that idea. I might have to do that for Cora this year!!
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  #13  
January 20th, 2010, 03:29 PM
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I think that the balloon (or the lanterns--they are so beautiful!) release would be very nice You could do both, the restaurant and the release.
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  #14  
January 20th, 2010, 07:07 PM
NutMeg76's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I love the lanterns!! I just told David I want to do those for Colm.
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  #15  
January 20th, 2010, 08:28 PM
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we release balloons into the sky - one for each month she was with us - 27 pink and white balloons
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  #16  
January 21st, 2010, 02:40 PM
Delekatala's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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For genevive's first anniversary we did the lantern thing. We called it a wish balloon. Everyone wrote messages on it with a sharpie. But if you do it find a WIDE open space. We tied a wire to hold onto ours just in case and its a good thing it almost flew into a nearby house. The package said ten feet, but really that wasn't enough space. So find a nice open field. It was pretty though, and we had hot chocolate.
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  #17  
January 21st, 2010, 08:51 PM
liz bevan's Avatar Super Mommy
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For malachi's first we had balloons and cupcakes. We talked about what memories we have of him and just spent time with family.
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