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Hate to beat a dead horse, but a question.


Forum: Stillbirth

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  #1  
January 22nd, 2010, 08:01 AM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
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I just have to know.

For those of us who made it past 28 weeks, did your doctor tell you about kick counting? Did they give you instruction on the PROPER way to do them?

If not, do you think that your baby could possibly have been saved if you'd had this information?
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  #2  
January 22nd, 2010, 08:14 AM
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When I was pregnant with Eva, my doctor didn't talk to me at all about kick counts. I only made it to 26 weeks with Eli but my midwives had mentioned kick counts to me. In my case with Eli, kick counts would not have saved him. But, it was the lack of movement when he was normally active that told me that something was wrong and I didn't trust my instincts and waited 2 days before I went in to my midwives. So, if he could have been saved, I would have waited too long. I know now to trust my instincts and not worry about people thinking I am being crazy.
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  #3  
January 22nd, 2010, 08:19 AM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
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For me I hadn't ever heard of kick counting until I was pregnant with Erin. THEN my doctor saw fit to tell me, to keep it from happening again.

Cora's movements were...odd...the day before she died. She was still active during her active time, but it wasn't nearly as MUCH. It was sluggish, kwim? I don't know if doing kick counts would have made it obvious, but I always wonder. I even had a coworker who came in on her day off offer to take the rest of my shift so I could go tot he hospital because I told her I thought something was wrong, but didn't listen to myself. I decided to wait until morning, and the next morning she was dead.
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  #4  
January 22nd, 2010, 08:22 AM
SarahBethsMommy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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No. My doctor asked "is he moving." But never told me how to do kick counts. Yes, I think if I'd known the proper way to do it, he'd be alive. He was much bigger than Sarah Beth, much farther along, and most likely would have done GREAT! If I'd gone in on Friday instead of waiting until Saturday, he'd be alive.

Oh and, I'm pretty sure we can talk about whatever we dang well feel like talking about in our own room. If others come here and read it and don't like it... well, leave. So I don't think you're "beating a dead horse."
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  #5  
January 22nd, 2010, 08:38 AM
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I am coming in too late this morning to find all this drama going on here, and unfortunately too late to post since the thread is closed. I would've been so grateful if someone had posted even a few words about stillbirth in my DDC last year or how important the KICK COUNT is no matter what stage of the pregnancy. I was completely ignorant when it came to stillbirth! And I truly beleive that if I was more aware about the kick count, movement, etc - all the VERY important stuff, my son would've lived.
As you know I made it to 39 weeks, and no my doctor didn't say anything about the kick counts. I guess he didn't bother since I had a perfect pregnancy, and had a perfect pregnancy 7 years before that. I was getting weekly nonstress tests starting at about 34 weeks, and they were all fine, even the nonstress test the day before Eric died. However, I was fully aware of the decreased movement the day I believe he died, but didn't listen to myself and did nothing about it. I was too naive and stupid to believe that at that time babies are not supposed to move as much due to being so close to the due date. At the time I've heard about stillbirth, but thought it only happens to someone who had underlying problems. I think the women in March DDC(?) shouldn't be scared, in fact, they should thank your sister for making the post as there not ENOUGH done to inform people about the stillbirth.
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  #6  
January 22nd, 2010, 08:48 AM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
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Quote:
Originally Posted by helen123 View Post
I was too naive and stupid to believe that at that time babies are not supposed to move as much due to being so close to the due date.
You know what, that's why my ob's nurse told me when I called because I couldn't get Cora to move. It took me TEN MINUTES of arguing to make her realize that my baby wasn't just "being quiet" and she was DEAD at that point.

Of course that particular nurse was horrible. She told my friend who was a gyn patient that since she'd had sex before she got married she should be tested for std's because "it's a probability when you're promiscuous." (this was one person in high school, so one other person besides her husband)
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  #7  
January 22nd, 2010, 08:50 AM
NutMeg76's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I did learn aobut kick counts with my first pregnany, and with the two after that. I did not hear much about kick counts with my fourth, they just asked if she was moving.

I find it interesting though that the providers that adovacted kick counts were also the ones that practiced evidence based medicine. Meaning they used research and current medical journal articles to help determine best practice advice. With Evie the doctor went on more personal judgment to make his decisions. He tried to push me to schedule a c-section at 38 weeks, which for me was not the best option, there was no risk associated with the pregnancy and I had already had 2 succesful VBACS. He just wanted me to schedule because he wante dme to have a c-section, it was easier on him. Definitley not evidence based. Evidence shows that babies born by elective c-section at 38 weeks have a higher incidnce of NICU stays. If he had suggested 39 weeks, I still would have said, 'no' but at least he would have had research on his side.

But, I gue smy point here is a 'good' doctor that uses evidnce based medicine vs. 'gut feeling' (doctors gut, not mommas...I trust mommas gut instinct, not so much MD's) seem to give pateints kick counts. This is my personal expeince though, so it might be different for others. But, I think kick counts are evidence based medicine. There is evidence that shows knowing and understaning movemenet can save a life.

We can advocate 'back to sleep' but not 'kisk counts' funny, dontcha think?
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  #8  
January 22nd, 2010, 08:55 AM
MeganMomof5's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I have always known about kick counts, probably just from reading magazines and books, but honestly in all my pregnancy's i'm not sure my doctor ever really explained them to me....I would always get "How's baby's movements" and that was pretty much it....I wish I had known more, and now I do, and this time will be different.
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  #9  
January 22nd, 2010, 08:56 AM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
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It's because babies are apparently "not real" until they're born.
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  #10  
January 22nd, 2010, 09:00 AM
happymom2Logan's Avatar Soon to be Mommy of 2
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Everyone whose pregnant knows they are real.... the fathers and others may not realize this because they don't feel babies move but they are definitely real. I have never heard anyone say they weren't. It's very real to pregnant mom's I've never once heard that it wasn't real at all from anyone whose ever been pregnant on and off the site.

I'm almost 33 weeks and he is active, I feel him all the time, but he has his down sleeping time but I'm aware of when he's more active and then when he is not.
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  #11  
January 22nd, 2010, 09:03 AM
CrystalAnne's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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My OB with my daughter and this one hands out pamphlets about kick counts with a chart and a curve thingie that shows what's normal. back in 2002 when I lost my boy they didn't give me ANYTHING about kick counts . . .or anything else for that matter. They were insisting I was only six weeks pregnant because I had discovered my pregnancy late, and refused to give me any medical attention until I had "attended new patient orientation". Don't get me started on THAT one! Rawr! Oh well. . .what's done is done and I'm grateful for a competent OB for DD and this li'l guy
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  #12  
January 22nd, 2010, 09:04 AM
MeganMomof5's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Why are you still posting here? No one from the stillbirth board is posting on the March DDC right now...We've recently had new members of this board, and you know, it might be very hard for them to see your posts and your ticker etc...I don't think adding a smiley face to your post makes it any better...Just like Rachel said in the other post, this is for the support of people who've had a stillbirth, time for you to move back to your board
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  #13  
January 22nd, 2010, 09:09 AM
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Originally Posted by MeganMomof5 View Post
time for you to move back to your board
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  #14  
January 22nd, 2010, 09:09 AM
happymom2Logan's Avatar Soon to be Mommy of 2
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I know someone who dealt with a still born, and a twin that almost died if she didn't follow her instincts not stirring stuff up just sharing too.

however if anyone is uncomfortable i'll leave..

have a good weekend girls.
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  #15  
January 22nd, 2010, 09:32 AM
CrystalAnne's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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All the drama around here the past couple days is traumatic! lol. I get all involved even though I don't usually post about it and it makes me all mad n I end up ranting at my hubby about it and he has NO clue what I'm on about, LOL. He said "maybe those boards aren't such a good place for you to be at this point" with a very worried expression on his face. Irrelevant but I figured it'd be harmless to mention.
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  #16  
January 22nd, 2010, 09:42 AM
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I hope we can all be accepting of everyone to whichever board they are on. I'm sorry if my ticker is offensive. I lost my first last January due to a cord accident at 37 weeks, and now I'm pregnant again.

To answer Brittanie's original question...I remember the doctor saying something about kick counts but I honestly don't remember the details and I know she didn't stress it. Maybe she did and I just didn't pay attention? I dont' think so though. However, I know I didnt' realize the gravity or the threat until after it actually happened to me. I think kick counting would have saved Alexis. And I wish my doctor had stressed to me the possibility of stillbirth. But they take that chance because they dont' want to freak you out and most of the time everything is fine. But obviously we know that its not fine all the time. So yes, I wish that my doctor had informed me better.
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  #17  
January 22nd, 2010, 09:50 AM
MeganMomof5's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I don't think your ticker is offensive, I was mostly saying that because she was going on and on about her son moving etc along with the ticker (and as someone who hasn't had a stillbirth)...I know that right after my loss I wouldn't of wanted to come here and read some of the things that have been posted on this board...There have been a lot of new members here recently and I Think people need to respect the fact that this board might be their area of JM to get away from it all (If that makes sense)....I know that I am happy for people that get pregnant after a loss, but right after I had my loss I was very angry and bitter and sometimes I didn't want to read about it...I wasn't trying to offend anyone
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  #18  
January 22nd, 2010, 09:52 AM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
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Amy, we don't mind angel mommy tickers. I'm glad to see you here!

Yeah, I really wish that my doctor had told me just how possible stillbirth is too. I didn't go in because I thought that if you were 38 weeks and neither you nor the baby had any medical issues that it was a done deal. You know, guaranteed. Sure there are a lot of stillbirths in my family, but other than the babies that had genetic issues, there are things that can be done now to prevent the others. My mother lost her first because they didn't have routine ultrasounds to see what the real problem was, etc.

It's just frustrating to see how many of us lost our babies from sheer lack of information.
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  #19  
January 22nd, 2010, 10:01 AM
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Quote:
I don't think your ticker is offensive, I was mostly saying that because she was going on and on about her son moving etc along with the ticker (and as someone who hasn't had a stillbirth)...I know that right after my loss I wouldn't of wanted to come here and read some of the things that have been posted on this board...There have been a lot of new members here recently and I Think people need to respect the fact that this board might be their area of JM to get away from it all (If that makes sense)....I know that I am happy for people that get pregnant after a loss, but right after I had my loss I was very angry and bitter and sometimes I didn't want to read about it...I wasn't trying to offend anyone
Oh no Megan you didn't offend me! I genuinely worry about hurting others by talking or displaying my pregnancy because I was just like you, it was VERY hard for me to hear about others pregnancies when that all I wanted!

I'm sorry if I offended you. I know what you mean about needing a place to escape from everything else and I think you are right, this type of board should be a safe haven. I guess I was just coming from reading the other DDC and how people were mad that "others" were posting in their DDC, like they owned it or something. That upset me, but here...its different. Anyway...I'm so sorry for your loss.
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  #20  
January 22nd, 2010, 10:09 AM
claire1979's Avatar mummy to a special angel
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i have know about kick counts my midwife tell u to count more than 10 kicks a day and if u dont count 10 in a 24 hour period u have to get checked over.
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