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  #1  
January 29th, 2010, 10:25 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 2,705
Hi ladies. I'd like to introduce myself and tell you my story.

My name is Elsa, and I became pregnant for the first time in September 09. DH and I were very excited to have our first child. We had been married for over 4 years and we felt like the time was right. Everything with my pregnancy was text book normal...(well except the morning sickness which everyone said goes away by 2nd tri, but stuck around in full force until 18 weeks). Everything always seemed normal and fine at my doctor appointments and for the most part I didn't worry. I found out I was having a little girl when I was 16 weeks along. It was so exciting.

I went in for my regular OB appointment 3 weeks ago exactly (I was 19 weeks along). Just your standard find the hb and do you have any questions type of deal. So I went by myself (I only take DH to appointments that involve ultrasounds and my big u/s was scheduled for the next Monday). The Dr came in to see me and listen for the hb with the doppler. He had a sort of funny look on his face while listening and said "let's take you in the other room to in to have a quick ultrasound so I can see baby". I wasn't worried at all because the exact same thing happened at my last appointment...my heartbeat was getting in the way of hearing baby's clearly on the doppler. So we went to the next room and right away I could see my little girl's heart beating away and was instantly assured that all was well. My dr grabbed his doppler and listened again. He said everything sounds good now, but before I was hearing a "beat, beat, pause, beat, beat, pause". He wanted the ultrasound tech to take a look at baby's heart on the big u/s machine just to be sure everything was indeed fine.

I was taken to another room with the big u/s and the tech looked at my little girl's heart for several minutes. She listened to several soundbites of the beating. After she was finished she said she would grab the doctor to see what he wanted to do. As she left I saw her grab a tissue and wipe a tear from her eye...at that point I started to panic. I was led to the doctor's office where he proceeded to tell me that there were some major problems with my baby's heart. He was unable to give me any kind of diagnosis as this was not his area of expertise, he just said "I'm sorry, it doesn't look good".

He referred me to a group of Neonatologists. I had to wait through the weekend before I could get in to see one of them. I got in to see the Neonatologist on Monday and the doctor confirmed the bad news and diagnosed my girl with heart failure. The prognosis was bad, the dr said my little girl would likely die in utero, but we had no idea when. We scheduled an appointment for Friday with a cardiologist for a fetal echocardiogram...this is a high powered u/s which gives a very in depth look at a fetus' heart. DH and I went in for the fetal echo on Friday only to find that our little girl had passed at 20 weeks 1 day gestation, exactly 1 week after we found out there was a problem.

I was induced the next day (Saturday) and gave birth Sunday morning Jan 17, at 12:02 am. We named our little girl Lucy Anita after my mother and MIL. She was 8 1/2 inches long and weighed only 7 ounces. I held her tiny little body in my arms and loved her so much. We burried Lucy on Saturday Jan 23. Sorry this is a crazy long post...it's all just still so fresh in my mind.
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  #2  
January 29th, 2010, 10:37 AM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Littleton, CO
Posts: 43,573
Oh Elsa, I'm so sorry. My heart has been broken for you since you told us on LDS parenting. ((I posted some stuff there in a thread with your name on it))

I'm so sorry. I wish that this didn't ever have to happen to anyone. But we'll be here whenever you need us.

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  #3  
January 29th, 2010, 10:50 AM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: CT
Posts: 982
Elsa I am so sorry for you loss. I followed your story in the June DDC. I know what it is like to get a scary diagnosis and be just praying so hard for a miracle and then have your baby die....at 19wks with joey we were referred to a level II ultrasound but not told ANYTHING about why. A week later we found out that joey had an omphalocele and a 2 vessel cord...we had an amnio, a fetal echo and were told he had a high risk of a trisomy and risk of stillbirth....and indeed Joey did pass at about 40wks(i think on his due date), but from a cord accident. We found out at 40w1d, were induced that night and our angel was born at 40w2d on 4/4/09.

Losing a child is, I think, the most difficult thing anyone has to go through. Just know we are here for you and at least have an understanding of your pain. I am so glad you decided to post here...i mean i'm not glad anyone of us has to be here, but the women here are so supportive and caring. Its like our own little family. I hope you will find it a place of comfort.

Praying for you and your family at this most difficult time.
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Married to my best friend Tom since 2004 (together since 1999)
Mommy to two little boys:
Jamie ~ 7-12-04 ~ fun, crazy, transformer loving tough-guy mama's boy
and
Joey ~ 4-4-09 ~ born sleeping ~ held under my heart for 40wk1d, in my arms for just 6 short hours but he will be in my heart forever
And finally holding my little girl,Felicity Rose, Born into Daddy's loving hands on June 9, 2010

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  #4  
January 29th, 2010, 11:10 AM
MeganMomof5's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 11,772
I read your story on the June DDC...I'm so sorry to hear about your loss, it just breaks my heart...I lost my baby girl in October...I found out at my 21 week OB appointment that her heart stopped beating...She was born a week later at 22w 3d, she was also 8 1/2 inches and 8oz...I still don't know how she passed away...I'm glad you've joined us and i hope we can help you any way that we can....Life will never be the same, but in time things will get better (((Hugs)))
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  #5  
January 29th, 2010, 02:14 PM
rebeccabaltimore and more's Avatar (rebeccabaltimore)
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 1,842
I also read your story on the June DDC. I lost my son Ethan at 18 weeks almost a year ago, also after a poor prenatal diagnosis. His kidneys were damaged beyond repair, and we said goodbye 4 days after his diagnosis. Like Lucy, Ethan was my first. I am so very sorry for your loss. I truly wish you didn't have to be here. But I have found so much comfort here, I hope you will too.
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  #6  
January 29th, 2010, 02:43 PM
heathernoel's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Maitland, Florida
Posts: 9,385
Oh Elsa I'm so sorry to meet you here. I love Lucy's name...absolutely beautiful! I have two saintly sons, both lost around the 20 week mark. I am just so sorry we have this in common.

Lots of love, hon.
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  #7  
January 29th, 2010, 03:15 PM
noworries
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Elsa, I'm sorry to have to welcome you here but am glad that you found us. I also followed your story on the June DDC. I love the name you gave your little girl!
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  #8  
January 29th, 2010, 04:38 PM
lex1078's Avatar Waiting patiently....
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 6,834
I'm so sorry for your loss. It saddens me so much that another mother has to go through this.
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  #9  
January 29th, 2010, 05:07 PM
BakingMommy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 1,192
Wow that week must have been horrible and that weekend even more so. So sorry. I love her name and I'm sure both of those women are proud she is named after them.
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  #10  
January 29th, 2010, 05:53 PM
liz bevan's Avatar Super Mommy
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i am so sorry for your loss.
we lost are son during labour.
My heart goes out to you
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  #11  
January 29th, 2010, 06:31 PM
Proud Momma
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 3,781
I am so sorry to hear of your tragic loss, Elsa

I'm Stephanie and my husband and I lost our first daughter, Katrina, back on August 9, 2008 at just before 23 weeks.

As much as we all hate having to be a part of this particular board, the ladies here are so amazing and such great support.

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  #12  
January 29th, 2010, 09:30 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: New York
Posts: 1,760
I'm really sorry for your loss. We are here for you.
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  #13  
January 30th, 2010, 01:36 AM
claire1979's Avatar mummy to a special angel
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a sad but very warm welcome, im so sorry for your loss hun, im claire co host of this board i lost my daughter jessica in 2005, hugs x
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  #14  
January 30th, 2010, 06:58 AM
Jaidynsmum's Avatar Dreams do come true....
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Location: Scotland, UK
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I'm so sorry to have to welcome you here hun, but we all welcome you with open arms. I'm Yvonne and I lost my daughter Ceilidh in September '94.
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  #15  
January 30th, 2010, 08:49 AM
Ben,Logan&Kaitlin'sMommy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I am so sorry for your loss hun ~
you have found a great group of women though

and I love her name
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  #16  
January 30th, 2010, 08:53 AM
lilflower
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Posts: n/a
I am sorry for the loss of your precious daughter
I wish nobody had to join us over here....
The ladies here are wonderful.
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  #17  
January 30th, 2010, 12:32 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 2,705
Thank you for the kind welcome ladies.

Also, thanks for saying you like her name. Lucy was one of our back burner names, but I did not actually intend to use it...but given the circumstances I felt like we should give her a meaningful name. It just seemed appropriate.
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  #18  
January 30th, 2010, 06:39 PM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Littleton, CO
Posts: 43,573
Quote:
Originally Posted by Elsa View Post
Thank you for the kind welcome ladies.

Also, thanks for saying you like her name. Lucy was one of our back burner names, but I did not actually intend to use it...but given the circumstances I felt like we should give her a meaningful name. It just seemed appropriate.
It's nice when the name has meaning. Not only was Cora named after Matt's great-grandmother, but Cora Rei means "heart full of gratitude." Every time I think of her name it reminds me of things to be thankful for.
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  #19  
January 30th, 2010, 10:53 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Brittanie View Post
It's nice when the name has meaning.
We specifically chose the name Katrina because it means "pure" and in some books we looked in, it means "pure love". So perfectly fitting for our precious baby girl.
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  #20  
January 31st, 2010, 01:42 PM
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 25
I am so sorry for your loss, I just lost my Twin Boys on January 4th, 2010 at 22 weeks. I also had a great pregnancy I felt so good and they were growing and good heart beats but for some unknown reason I started having contractions and went to the hospital and about 1 o'clock my water broke and my 2 beautiful angels were born they were so small only 14 ounces each. I am still so lost but this site has really helped me a lot just to vent and to realize I am not alone, I wanted them so badly they were going to be my first children they are my first but i am left with empty arms and all the hopes and dreams I had still in my mind. No answers as to why this had to happen to us. My heart breaks for you and i will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Thanks for listening and sharing.
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