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Forum: Stillbirth

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  #1  
February 4th, 2010, 11:28 AM
BellaBellski's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: DC, BC
Posts: 3,554
I only come here when I need help, and I'm sorry. I just seriously have NO ONE to turn to. I only have one good friend but she doesn't understand, no one can understand that hasn't been through it.

My sister had her baby today. a boy. So we both had girls (3 mos apart) boys (would have been a few weeks apart), boys (3 mos apart). But she gets all her kids. She gets to hold them and cuddle them and watch them grow and I lost my first son. I hate that I had to go through that, it isn't fair. I hate that I have to watch her have what I should have. It hurts so deeply and I'm trying my hardest to just be happy for her and not think of myself, but my poor little Damian.....whhhhhhhhyyyyy? its not fair I always told DF I wanted two boys and a girl, and I got them....why'd I have to lose one??? blah I'm sorry I just really needed to vent
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Forever loving & Missing ~Damian~ born into heaven August 13th 2008
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  #2  
February 4th, 2010, 12:12 PM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Littleton, CO
Posts: 43,573
I totally get that feeling. Exact same situation with my best friend. All 3 of our pregnancies have overlapped. But she's has her little redheaded girl and I don't. I am happy for her, but I still am a little jealous. Sometimes I still look at Katy and it hurts.

Being happy for your sister doesn't mean you have to stop hurting for your son.
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  #3  
February 4th, 2010, 08:24 PM
Ben,Logan&Kaitlin'sMommy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Bedford, Nova Scotia
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I am sorry your having a rough go hun -
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  #4  
February 4th, 2010, 09:02 PM
BellaBellski's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: DC, BC
Posts: 3,554
I think I figured it out, I think I Just -have- to quit looking at it like thats what I should have, because it isn't what I have. I have two perfect, precious children and that -is- enough for me. I am truly blessed to have them, and I know I will always miss Damian but I need to get passed thinking like that or else I will be depressed forever.

Thanks for the replies girls it means alot.
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Proud Mommy to Mattea Lilian born February 21st 2007 - 7lbs 14oz &
Owen Markus James born October 21st 2009 - 10lbs
Forever loving & Missing ~Damian~ born into heaven August 13th 2008
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