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Forum: Stillbirth

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  #1  
February 14th, 2010, 05:26 PM
heathernoel's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Maitland, Florida
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I'm so excited! I rec'd one of my reborns! It doesn't look like Marshall, per se, but he is tiny, and resembles what I'd imagine Marshall would look like. He's been very therapeutic for the girls and I, and I can't wait to receive Jonah in two weeks. His is more like him...Marshall weighs about a pound and a half, and the Jonah doll weighs in a almost three.

But I tell you that to tell you this: my friend that made them needed my addy, and went to my sister in law on fb to get the addy. She went to another sister in law (who lives closer) to get my addy. This one felt the need to discuss her concerns that the the dolls would only serve to reinforce my "beliefs" that I've "suffered a loss". . But she loves me, and guesses that I should have them, so she gave her my addy.

*****.
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  #2  
February 14th, 2010, 06:44 PM
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  #3  
February 14th, 2010, 08:49 PM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
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Wait...your "beliefs" that you've suffered a loss? Like you made up the whole thing? I'm sorry honey.

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  #4  
February 14th, 2010, 08:59 PM
Mega Super Mommy
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Is she crazy??? Your belief? If someone said that about me I would be beyond the realm of furious!!!
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  #5  
February 15th, 2010, 02:24 PM
heathernoel's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I was furious, then my husband brought up a couple of points.

1) My brother in law and she have a different sense of reality than my own. She lost a toddler in a car accident (though I was told SIDS at one point!). In her book, if you haven't buried a child that at some point breathed air, you haven't lost. I pity them.

2) These are people that find jokes about dead babies to be funny. Do I really care what they believe?

3) I know what we lost. We feel the loss daily. I pity those that don't understand just what was lost on those days.


Now, I'm going to try this

So........ that didn't work. I gotta figure out how to post an image from fb here. I hear it can be done
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  #6  
February 15th, 2010, 02:34 PM
heathernoel's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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  #7  
February 15th, 2010, 05:34 PM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
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It worked when I right clicked on your image and "copy image url" and put it in a new tab. That's a cute pic!


Yeah, I wouldn't pay any attention. But you know what? I still think it's unfair for her to think her baby is more real than yours just because hers happened to breathe first. I don't think I would have been any more devastated if I'd lost Cora days, weeks, months, or years after birth.
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Last edited by Brittanie; February 15th, 2010 at 09:58 PM.
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  #8  
February 15th, 2010, 07:02 PM
lunarmagic's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Your BELIEF??? Dude. That term is so incredibly insulting in that context. But you are right... they live in their own reality, so I guess it doesn't matter what they think. But that still stuns me. It isn't the same loss they've experienced, but it's a loss!
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