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Forum: Stillbirth

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  #1  
February 18th, 2010, 06:40 AM
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Hi all
As you know I lost my twins Jan4th - I have no other children. I went to see my doctor again yesterday and he surprised me. He gave us the OK to begin trying again, I don't know how to feel about that. I want a baby so badly but I am so scared. I know i can't stay frozen in fear but on one hand I feel like it is to soon and i still miss the boys so much and long for them. On the other hand i want a baby. I can never replace them but is it OK to think of the future? I know to have twins again is not probably going to happen since they were a miracle in the first place. Also do any of you have any experience with Progesterone Gel? because of our miscarriage last summer and the preterm labor with the boys the doctor has prescribed this for us to use after ovulation cycle to help maybe avoid another miss. and to use it for the first 12 weeks if we get pregnant. Thanks for listening just want to hear your thoughts - Tina
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  #2  
February 18th, 2010, 06:55 AM
AliciaF's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Is the progesterone gel he's talking about the same as progesterone lotion? I know my OB said he didn't recommend that as not enough was absorbed by the body to make a difference. He prescribed progesterone pills that I used as a suppository.

As far as TTC again, only you and your dh will know when that time is right. If you feel ready and your doc gave the go ahead then it's fine, if you're not ready it's fine to wait too.

I personally couldn't wait to start ttc again, I needed that to heal.
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  #3  
February 18th, 2010, 07:47 AM
claire1979's Avatar mummy to a special angel
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i dont know about the gel hun.

but yeah alicia s right hun only you n your dh can really know when its ready to try.

its ok to think of the future hun its not wrong. maybe sit and have a chat to your dh and see whens best for you to try?

lots of hugs x
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  #4  
February 18th, 2010, 07:53 AM
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I don't know anything about progesterone so I can't help you there. I'll bet the ladies on the Trying to Conceive After Loss board would be able to answer that question for you.
And like AliciaF said, only you and your DH can decide when is the right time for you to start TTC again. It's different for everyone. Something that someone on this board told me was that when the desire to have another child is more than the fear of losing another child, that's when your ready. I personally wanted to TTC again right away and got pregnant just 3 months after losing Eli. In fact, my due date is Eli's birthday. It's very difficult because while I know that I can never replace Eli, everyone around me seems to think that I have moved on since I am pregnant again and that is not at all the case. I know that this baby is a different baby. It's also difficult because I now have fears and worries that I never had before when it comes to being pregnant but so far I have not let those become overbearing and I have been able to enjoy this pregnancy. But, there's always those nagging fears. And I really do not want this baby to be born on Eli's birthday. I want Eli to have his own day and I don't want to always be sad on this baby's birthday. But, I was willing to take on all these fears because I wanted another baby so badly. But, like I said before, it's different for everyone. So, just be honest with yourself and your DH with your feelings.
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  #5  
February 18th, 2010, 08:52 AM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
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Quote:
Originally Posted by chispaza View Post
Something that someone on this board told me was that when the desire to have another child is more than the fear of losing another child, that's when your ready..
That was probably me, since I know I've said it before and was about to say it again. lol That's how I knew I was ready. That and I could handle the idea of another baby instead of just wanting Cora back. But since grief is different for everyone, so is when/if you are ready to try again.

Being pregnant after a loss is just...hard. But it IS worth it.

Good luck.
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  #6  
February 18th, 2010, 10:01 AM
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We also have a wonderful group called "Pregnant after Loss" that takes really good care of our graduates!!!!
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  #7  
February 18th, 2010, 10:01 AM
Mom 2 Avery's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Double post...oops!!!
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  #8  
February 18th, 2010, 11:04 AM
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I had to wait 3 months after losing Ethan to ttc, for medical reasons, but in the end I'm glad we waited, it helped me get my head on straight. I knew we could never replace Ethan, and nothing would ever make me stop missing him, but I really felt that I wanted to give him a brother or sister, someone who he could look out for while waiting to see us again.

I think about Ethan every single day, even a year later, and even pregnant with my second child. I talk to my son Grant about Ethan all the time. I tell him about his big brother. I even bought a children's book called "Someone Came Before You" (thanks Kathryn for recommending it) so I can read it to Grant when he is born.

There are a few books that helped me through the difficult emotions that ttc brought up for me. I recommend these two:

Amazon.com: Trying Again: A Guide to Pregnancy After Miscarriage, Stillbirth, and Infant Loss (9780878331826): Ann Douglas: Books

Amazon.com: Pregnancy After a Loss: A Guide to Pregnancy After a Miscarriage, Stillbirth, or Infant Death: Carol Cirulli Lanham: Books

As for the progesterone gel, I don't know anything about that particular type of progesterone, but I took progesterone pills starting 2 days post ovulation until 13 weeks pregnant to help prevent miscarriage, and it worked as I have made it this far.
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  #9  
February 18th, 2010, 04:07 PM
Ben,Logan&Kaitlin'sMommy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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we were given the go ahead shortly after Rebecca as well - as soon as the bleeding stopped
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  #10  
February 18th, 2010, 05:05 PM
lex1078's Avatar Waiting patiently....
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Can't help you with the progesterone gel either.

As for TTC now, like most of the other girls said, it's a decision only you and DH can make. I remember about an hour after the girls were born, DH and I talked about TTC again and we had decided on a year. 2 months later, the baby fever was so bad I couldn't wait anymore and we started trying again in Jan/Feb of '09. I miscarried in July at 9 weeks and we decided to wait again. We are starting our journey yet again.

You need to do what you need to do. If you are ready to TTC again, then go for it. If not, then take your time. Your boys are there for you and will be on each of your shoulders supporting you with what ever decision you make.

I hope that whenever you decided to TTC again you get to bring home a healthy baby.
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