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  #1  
July 14th, 2010, 10:54 PM
HopefulMommy81's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: California
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Well, I'm here now....Matthew was born on July 1st at 0820. For those of you who didn't read my posts in June, I was diagnosed with oligo then anhydramnios at 18 weeks. He didn't have a chance to develop his little lungs and wouldn't have survived no matter how long I got to carry him We are grieving of course still but I have been able to log onto JM for the first time today.



On June 29th, I noticed I had a low-grade fever and I was passing a few clots- I had spotted actually a lot of my pregnancy and every time they looked, Matthew was fine- until the low-fluid but they felt they weren't connected at the time. As y'all know, we were told that because of the lack of fluid from 18 weeks, Matthew's lungs were not developed and he wouldn't survive no matter when he was born. They had been telling me I needed to be induced for several weeks but I put it off as long as I could- I wanted to give our little boy a chance, even if the doctors said it wouldn't help. So, I had a fever the 28th and 29th and on the 29th I passed a few clots so I called my OB's office. My OB was still on vacation so I saw one of his partners. He was very concerned for me and sent me to the hospital (a local Catholic hospital because that's where my insurance has me go first). They did an u/s and Matthew was head down, in exactly the same position he had been in the week prior at UCSF. I still had no fluid. They drew labs to see if I had an infection. The labs didn't show an infection but the doctor was still worried that it was coming. Because the hospital I was at was Catholic, they wouldn't admit me- apparently since I wasn't dying and Matthew still had a heartbeat, if I had to be induced they considered it an abortion, even though the priests I spoke to said that wasn't true. (BTW, I am Catholic so in no way am I saying anything against Catholicism). So, I was sent home and told I was to be admitted the next day to another hospital. I went home, took an Ambien that the doctor was nice enough to give me, and attempted to sleep while enjoying being pregnant.
On the morning of the 30th, the doctor called and told me to go to the hospital at 2 pm and I would be admitted. Basically I wasn't being given a choice anymore- it was my health that was in danger and they wouldn't risk me getting sick. Jason and I got there a little after 2 and my priest from work met us there, which was very nice. I don't really want to go into all of my labor experience, but they induced me startin at 1740 and Matthew was born the next morning at 0820. He had died sometime during labor. They were not monitoring his heartbeat during labor- they said it would be too stressful for me to possibly hear his heart stop beating, which is understandable, but it was quite stressful the whole time wondering as well. Matthew weighed 1 lb 1 oz and was 11 inches long. He did not look like a healthy baby at birth- he had been squished for quite a while and hadn't been able to move for a while either because of the lack of fluid. However, we of course thought he was perfect. We got to spend about 2 hours with him and then they had to take him away- he had testing done to see if there was a reason for the lack of fluid that will help us next time.
I want to thank all of you ladies for your support, prayers, thoughts, and kind words for myself and my family. I was unable to come on JM until now, but have been talking to some ladies from JM on FB and I knew how many people were supporting us. We are forever grateful and I sincerely hope none of you have to ever go through what we've been through.
We will be waiting several months (my OB suggests around 6) and then we will be TTC Matthew a little brother or sister.
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Annalise is hoping to be a big sister on June 28, 2014. Forever missing her big brother, Matthew, stillborn on July 1, 2010.
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  #2  
July 14th, 2010, 11:16 PM
claire1979's Avatar mummy to a special angel
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oh hun , im so very sorry, im sat here in tears, thank you for sharing your story

floaty kisses to matthew xxx
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  #3  
July 14th, 2010, 11:22 PM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
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Location: Littleton, CO
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I really am so very sorry that you have to join us here, but I'm so glad that you are here. These ladies have been a lifeline for me.

I'm Brittanie, my Cora was stillborn May 2, 2006 (38w1d) due to a cord accident. I've since had two rainbow babies.

I totally understand what you mean by thinking that he was perfect. I think we all thought that about our babies.

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  #4  
July 15th, 2010, 07:06 AM
Mega Super Mommy
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Location: New York
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I'm so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing your story with us.
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  #5  
July 15th, 2010, 07:08 AM
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Location: Indiana
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I'm so sorry sweetie. Thank you for sharing Matthew's story with us.
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  #6  
July 15th, 2010, 07:17 AM
MeganMomof5's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Once again, i'm so sorry for your loss I wish there was something more I could do...Please know we are here for you anytime you need us (((Hugs)))
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  #7  
July 15th, 2010, 07:38 AM
noworries
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I am so sorry. Thank you for sharing your story with us. Hugs.
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  #8  
July 15th, 2010, 09:20 AM
rebeccabaltimore and more's Avatar (rebeccabaltimore)
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 1,842
I'm so sorry for your loss. Matthew's birth story sounds much like my son Ethan's. If you ever need to talk, I am here.

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  #9  
July 15th, 2010, 10:50 AM
Proud Momma
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 3,781
oh Jacque. I'm so sorry for your loss of sweet Matthew

Please come here whenever.......he ladies here are so supportive

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  #10  
July 15th, 2010, 02:30 PM
liz bevan's Avatar Super Mommy
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I am so sorry for you loss
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Thank you so much for the awesome siggie Claire
Our joys will be greater
Our love will be deeper
Our lives will be fuller
Because we shared your moment
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  #11  
July 16th, 2010, 01:06 PM
HopefulMommy81's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Location: California
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Thank you, ladies. I have thought of several questions and will be posting them in another topic.
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Annalise is hoping to be a big sister on June 28, 2014. Forever missing her big brother, Matthew, stillborn on July 1, 2010.
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  #12  
July 16th, 2010, 01:12 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 2,095
I am so sorry for your loss. You and your family have been in my thoughts.
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  #13  
July 16th, 2010, 04:14 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 696
So sorry for your loss. Words don't ever do justice. I'm Jessica. I lost my firstborn, Robert, at 35 weeks in December 2008, due to what is belived to be a cord accident. My heart goes out to you.
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