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Should I tell Benjamin's teacher?


Forum: Stillbirth

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  #1  
August 15th, 2010, 08:47 AM
Ben,Logan&Kaitlin'sMommy's Avatar Super Moderator
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Hi Ladies,

Benjamin (my oldest son) is starting kindergarten this fall and will be gone for the whole day - it is a big change for us and one that he is excited for.

He recently drew a picture (see other post) and included his sister in the picture. He said mommy, daddy, ben, logan and sissy.

I shared this with my mom, she says I should write the teacher a note before school starts to let her know I have had a stillbirth and what her name was (sigh i know it is but my mom said was - another story) and that he calls her a butterfly and sissy.

what do you think I should do?

I want Ben to go in there happy and not worried that i have to talk to his teacher right away - I don't want to make him stand out. You can't tell looking at our family that we are missing a huge part of it -

What would you do?
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Logan (6), Kaitlin (3)



εϊз Some People Dream of Angels But I Held One In My Arms εϊз
Rebecca Lee Stillborn 10-30-03
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  #2  
August 15th, 2010, 11:52 AM
heathernoel's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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My kids' teachers know because they speak matter of factly about the boys. I also want the teacher to know because I don't want my girls referred to counselors, etc because their mourning isn't mourning...it's coping.
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  #3  
August 15th, 2010, 12:34 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: CT
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In our situation its different because Jamie was in preK at the same school he had kindergarten, so all the teachers knew about our stillbirth. This year he will have a new first grade teacher, she's new to the school this year...but Jamie's aunt is the aid in the classroom! So again, it will be fine.

However, even though Mrs. A was there when Joey was stillborn, I still wrote her an email at the beginning of the year updating her on Jamie and how he did mention Joey and how we would like her to respond. She appreciated it. Jamie never knew I emailed her. If you can contact the teacher with out Ben knowing, maybe do that. But in kindergarten, generally whatever the kids mention the teachers just go with it, they don't question too much.
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Kathryn
Married to my best friend Tom since 2004 (together since 1999)
Mommy to two little boys:
Jamie ~ 7-12-04 ~ fun, crazy, transformer loving tough-guy mama's boy
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Joey ~ 4-4-09 ~ born sleeping ~ held under my heart for 40wk1d, in my arms for just 6 short hours but he will be in my heart forever
And finally holding my little girl,Felicity Rose, Born into Daddy's loving hands on June 9, 2010

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  #4  
August 16th, 2010, 08:21 AM
Mega Super Mommy
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My situation is different. My daughter was in the first grade last year when we lost Eric, and since it happened in the summer by the time she started second grade in September she didn't talk or remember it. Also she is very shy and doesn't like to talk about Eric. Also she has a new teacher every year, and so nobody brought it up to her in school. I know she said to her close friends who asked that Eric is in heaven in the beginning of the school year, and that's where it stopped.
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  #5  
August 16th, 2010, 08:48 AM
rebeccabaltimore and more's Avatar (rebeccabaltimore)
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If he includes her in the family I would say something, some teachers might not understand and could come to you, or a counselor, concerned. By letting her know that this is something you are aware of already, and something that is in fact normal, you may avoid problems down the road.
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  #6  
August 16th, 2010, 10:46 AM
claire1979's Avatar mummy to a special angel
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all the kids teachers know, sometimes they get upset at school and the teachers need to know why, but they were at school when i lost her so most know
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  #7  
August 16th, 2010, 03:43 PM
liz bevan's Avatar Super Mommy
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I would tell the teacher about what happened.
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  #8  
August 16th, 2010, 08:32 PM
Ben,Logan&Kaitlin'sMommy's Avatar Super Moderator
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thanks ladies for your input
I am going to tell the teacher
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Jenn
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My Kiddos
Chloe (14),
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Logan (6), Kaitlin (3)



εϊз Some People Dream of Angels But I Held One In My Arms εϊз
Rebecca Lee Stillborn 10-30-03
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