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Well it has taken me a long time to tell you all about Evans Birth Story! Guess today is a good day for it! Today is Evans Angelversary!!!!
A year ago August 16th 2009 I awoke early in the morning and sat down on my couch when my Golden Retriever Jake who throughout the whole pregnancy never left my side when I was home!! Almsot like he had a special connection with Evan, whenever we would ask him where E.J Was he would always go to the nursey door and look at us with big brown eyes like he was asking is he finally here! but on this day he jumped up and bear hugged me in which he never does, I pushed him off me scolding him for jumping on me in which then he layed at my feet giving me puppy eyes looking from me to my husband Kevin. Not putting any thought to it at all I carried on with normal activities
After a couple of hours I thought something was different I wasn't really feeling good and my back ached something awful, then I thought well today is my due date just maybe I was getting ready to go into labor!!! As the day went on I thought to myself a few times Evan hasn't been very active but I pushed any negative thoughts to the back of my mind and thought it is just because I am getting ready to go into labor!!!
My sister came over for the day and we played cards with my husband and my parents! I kept thinking something isn't right he isn't very active. I tried to concentrate on any movement a bunch, a wiggle anything.... I did feel bunches through out the day so I convinced myself everything was fine!
After playing cards and eating dinner I went and layed down for awhile concentrating more on any movements it was then that I begin to relize something was wrong!!
I got out of bed and went to my mom and said Evan has not been active today! she said it was just because I was getting ready to go into labor but I couldn't put out of my mind that something was not right so i called my ob in which told me everything is probaly fine but go ahead and go in to be checked out!!
So we went to the hospital where the nurses hooked up the monitors and it was then that my worse nightmare came true! The nurse couldn't find a heartbeat! She couldn't confirm with just the monitors that indeed there wasn't so she paged the doctor and ultrasound to come down! They hooked up the ultrasound and confirmed there indeed was no longer a heartbeat that our Evan was gone! They couldn't give us a reason just by the ultrasound so the admitted me into a room and let us have time as a family and to make decisons!
At 3 am August 17 2009 they induced my labor. During the whole labor I had convinced myself that the nurses and doctors was wrong that Evan was just laying wrong and it wad hiding or muffling his heartbeat! I was convinced that when he was born he would be breathing and crying and they woudl all relize they made a mistake! but I only labored 6 hours and At 9:02 am Evan James was born sleeping!!! He had a double knot in his umbilical cord that cut off his oxygen and blood supply.
A perfect 6 lb 1.8 oz 19 3/4 baby boy !!!!!!! We held him all day and even had a lady named Teri from Now I lay me down to Sleep come take photographs...
We spent all day with him and then about 4:30 pm we knew we had to let our sweet angel go
As the nurse came in to take him away I felt like I would never be able to go on in life again!! I still didn't believe he was gone.
When we left the hospital empy handed that night I still didn't believe he was gone I had convinced myself that there was just something wrong and that he had to stay a few xtra days even though deep down i knew that wasn't true it was what I wanted to believe!!!
I or my husband didn't sleep much that night! There was even a few times that night that I had made myself believe that somebody at the hospital was lying and that Evan was fine and they just took him from me! Come morning though reality had set in even more.
I knew I had to accept that for some cruel reason He was taken from us!!!!
We will never know the true reason why we couldn't have Evan here with us every day! But I have come to believe that God gave us him for 9 months because an angel can't become an angel unless it is born first! God only choses special people to be an angels parents and So he chose us!!!
Happy Bday Evan James Mommy and Daddy and Brothers Love you very much and Miss you every waking minute of Every day!!!!!