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Forum: Stillbirth

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  #1  
October 13th, 2010, 07:17 AM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Littleton, CO
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I wish that I had a picture of my bfp with Cora. Or at least remembered the date.

I wish I'd been able to enjoy my pregnancy with her, instead of having my most powerful memory being one of being convinced I was actually going to die from being so sick.

I wish I'd known about NILMDTS, or at least thought of having the nurse take a picture of the 3 of us together.

I wish I'd been able to have my family in the room to hold her.

I wish we'd been able to have a funeral.

I wish we'd been able to bury her, so that she could have a headstone to tell the world that she was here beyond what I'm able to do.

I wish I'd been able to see her eyes, and hear her cry, see her smile, hear her laugh.


I wish she were here.
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  #2  
October 13th, 2010, 07:27 AM
Mom 2 Avery's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I have so many of the same thoughts about Avery....especially seeing her eyes!
Mine are blue and her father has brown eyes...so I wonder how light hers would be.

And what would her laugh sound like...

I'm right there with ya, darlin!
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  #3  
October 13th, 2010, 08:39 AM
claire1979's Avatar mummy to a special angel
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i have loads of 'i wishes' also hun alot of that im upset about.

hugs brittanie
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  #4  
October 13th, 2010, 09:28 AM
MeganMomof5's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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(((Hugs))) I wish a lot of the same things
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  #5  
October 13th, 2010, 10:36 AM
lunarmagic's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Location: MA
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I've been thinking too much lately about the regrets and wishes. Some days it's hard looking at Kate, wondering what he would have looked like, how different his personality would have been. Sigh.
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  #6  
October 13th, 2010, 11:40 AM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
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thanks ladies. It just sort of hit me over the head this morning and I've been weepy all day. I was thinking about the fact that it was 4 years ago today I found out I was pregnant with Erin, and I know that because I have a picture. And then got to thinking about how I don't have a picture of Cora's, and I don't remember the date, and it kind of spiraled downward from there.

*sigh*

This sucks. I wish none of us had to be here.
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  #7  
October 13th, 2010, 11:44 AM
Dacontay4's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I have a lot of the same wishes. It sucks that all of us have to be here. I didn't enjoy my pregnancy with Kaydence at all either, I was so sick with her and I just couldn't wait to be done. I wish I had enjoyed her.
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  #8  
October 13th, 2010, 02:08 PM
noworries
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When we found out that Eli had died and decided to go in for an induction, a friend of mine who had lost a baby about 12 years earlier was there for me and told me the things that she regretted (like her family not being there and not getting to hold him) and we had a lady from the hospital who had stillborn twins 20 years before call NILMDTS and other services for us. I am so grateful for these people who helped me think of things that I never would have thought of. And I hope that I can use my experience to help others that I know that have to endure the same thing.
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  #9  
October 13th, 2010, 03:08 PM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
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Location: Littleton, CO
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Yeah, we were in a little town in Idaho, and my parents were in Las Vegas, and his were in Michigan. There was no way they could come. And we didn't bury her because we knew we'd be moving in just a couple years and it was hard enough moving from Jenny Lake where we left her ashes. I couldn't have left a grave. And because family was so far away and we opted for cremation, we didn't have a funeral because it would have been harder to have one and not have anyone there. I know I made the right choice...I just wish I could have chosen differently.
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  #10  
October 13th, 2010, 04:08 PM
MeganMomof5's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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this board helped me a lot, which i'm so thankful for...but now a year later I do have some regrets It's hard because it's something we'll never get another chance at.
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  #11  
October 13th, 2010, 04:51 PM
lex1078's Avatar Waiting patiently....
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Brittanie, I have a ton of wishes every day about the girls. I cried when I read your post cause so much is what I wish I could have done differently too.
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