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Tonight my dh had a conversation with Ethanael (he's 5) and Ethanael started asking about Elijah. Went something like this:
E- where did my baby brother go?
DH- he went to heaven
E- but where did he go when he went in the ground?
DH- he went to heaven honey
E- yeah, but what happened to him when he went into the ground?
DH- his body becomes part of the soil
E- I don't want to go into the soil
DH- hun, it's something that happens to everyone at some point in life.
E- but I don't ever want you to go into the ground daddy
DH- I know
E- I'm going to live with you and mommy forever
I was so torn about taking him to the funeral but I didn't want to deprive him of being able to say goodbye. He carried his flowers and put them on his casket at the service and I was so proud of him. I didnt' know that he still thought of his baby brother but that is how loving he is. He once said to me that he missed him because he wanted to play with him. Things like that break my heart but again show how much love is in my child's heart and just warms me.
My niece still remembers Ethan, she's almost 4 now. Last year, she asked me if she could watch tv, so I told her she had to ask her mom (who would have said no). She responded "Well . . . can Baby Ethan watch tv?"
I did not have other children at the time of Lucy's passing, but my nieces and nephews speak of her often. My 6 year old neice always includes Lucy when people ask her how many cousins she has...that always warms my heart.
My daughter was only 20 months old when Eli was born and she doesn't really remember him like that. I mean, she knows she has a brother named Eli who is in heaven and when she sees a picture of him she knows it is Eli but she doesn't ask for him or anything.