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Tainted (new baby mentioned)


Forum: Stillbirth

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  #1  
December 6th, 2010, 10:13 PM
NutMeg76's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I feel the effects of my loss a lot right now. A friend on FB recently had her daughter and posted some photos. One of them is a photo of her feet in black and white with her parents rings on her toe. I see that and think of a stillborn baby. I don't think they are 'right' for living children, I know that is irrational, but I think it anyway.

When I see footprint tattoos I feel the same way, they should be memorial tattoos. Almost like I feel that baby is condemned to die young. How stupid is that?

Yeah, the loss of my son definitely changed the way I view the world.
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  #2  
December 7th, 2010, 03:15 AM
claire1979's Avatar mummy to a special angel
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awww hun hugs (())

im feeling sad about our loss also this week, my sis had her baby girl and i was very emotional while holding her
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  #3  
December 7th, 2010, 05:58 AM
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to you both...
So sorry you are having not so great weeks
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  #4  
December 7th, 2010, 08:31 AM
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Of course your loss is going to change the way you view certain things. That is totally normal. Hugs.
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  #5  
December 7th, 2010, 08:44 AM
Mom 2 Avery's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I have Avery's footprints over my heart and it really bothers me when someone tells me its sexy...they're not supposed to be sexy...they're supposed to be special!!!
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  #6  
December 7th, 2010, 11:24 AM
NutMeg76's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Sexy? Seriously? Some people are so strange to me.
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  #7  
December 7th, 2010, 12:11 PM
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I would have to agree with you meghan, the footprints and certain pictures are especially are special to those of us that have experienced a loss.

Thinking of you
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  #8  
December 7th, 2010, 12:34 PM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
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I have a hard time seeing pictures of sleeping babies sometimes. I agree though, all those things that are so special to us, when people do them for a living baby it almost feels like a mockery.
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  #9  
December 7th, 2010, 01:51 PM
NutMeg76's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I think the feet are particularly bad because so many times the only pictures of a stillborn baby that a family feels comfortable sharing with the world is the picture of their feet. There is no peeling skin, no extra red lips, nothing that might be upsetting to someone that doesn't have an angel baby.

It is almost that it isn't 'fair' for them to use that pose. There are so many other photos they can take of their baby, for years to come, don't take that one special image from a mommy or daddy that can't have a lifetime of pictures of their dead baby.

We have a few photos of Evie when she was first born that I don't really like to look at. She had a scratch on her eye and they just look not right
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  #10  
December 7th, 2010, 06:27 PM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
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I don't think that people who haven't been through it even realize that it's a special thing like that for us. They or the photographer probably saw it somewhere and thought it was sweet, not even realizing .
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  #11  
December 7th, 2010, 10:03 PM
NutMeg76's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I totally agree. Knowing that doesn't stop me from feeling weird though.
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  #12  
December 7th, 2010, 10:46 PM
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Losing a child makes us all realize that life isn't fair and we lose our innocence....
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  #13  
December 7th, 2010, 11:40 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Brittanie View Post
I have a hard time seeing pictures of sleeping babies sometimes. I agree though, all those things that are so special to us, when people do them for a living baby it almost feels like a mockery.
When I look back at Kate's first few months I notice that when I set up her monthly pictures I always planned them when she was awake. Yes there were some sleepy ones at first, but I did not any of the 'cute naked sleeping baby' pictures that everyone else seems to do. It wasn't even intentional. I just... couldn't.

Actually we were just going through some pictures for a calendar. One was cute, me holding Kate by Devin's dragon. I wanted to use it. Until DH looked over my shoulder and quietly said that she looked funny. She was asleep when the pic was taken, he said, "She looks... dead." Needless to say, that pic did not make it into the calendar.

Things definitely look a lot different now. :/
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  #14  
December 16th, 2010, 04:20 PM
HopefulMommy81's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Yes, losing a baby definetly changes your view on the world.
For those of you who have footprint tatoos, where do you have them? Were they able to use the exact footprints of your angel? I have wanted one for several months now but I want it somewhere easily hidden and well, not too painful
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  #15  
December 16th, 2010, 06:20 PM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lunarmagic View Post
When I look back at Kate's first few months I notice that when I set up her monthly pictures I always planned them when she was awake. Yes there were some sleepy ones at first, but I did not any of the 'cute naked sleeping baby' pictures that everyone else seems to do. It wasn't even intentional. I just... couldn't.

Actually we were just going through some pictures for a calendar. One was cute, me holding Kate by Devin's dragon. I wanted to use it. Until DH looked over my shoulder and quietly said that she looked funny. She was asleep when the pic was taken, he said, "She looks... dead." Needless to say, that pic did not make it into the calendar.

Things definitely look a lot different now. :/
I hate the shots of Erin in her blessing dress for that same reason. She was asleep and she just looked exactly like Cora. They hurt for me to look at. I scrapbooked them, since they were all the shots we got, but it was really hard for me to scrap them and I don't look at them anymore.

Quote:
Originally Posted by HopefulMommy81 View Post
Yes, losing a baby definetly changes your view on the world.
For those of you who have footprint tatoos, where do you have them? Were they able to use the exact footprints of your angel? I have wanted one for several months now but I want it somewhere easily hidden and well, not too painful
I don't have one but if I did I'd get it on my foot. Because of this I Spoke With My Child
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  #16  
December 16th, 2010, 08:51 PM
Mom 2 Avery's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I did use Avery's actual footprints. She was born at 22 weeks and they're each the size of my thumbprint...the whole thing is the size of a small post-it!

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