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Forum: Stillbirth

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  #1  
December 11th, 2010, 11:33 AM
AndyBee's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Gresham, OR
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Yesterday was a really rough day at work. A sweet little baby passed due to a trauma at daycare. The family was obviously distraught with grief. I work at the front desk, and the family was right outside our unit crying, mourning, weeping. It was so emotional to be around. It brought up my own feelings of grief, and I left the desk to pull myself together. When I came back, my coworker was talking about how "inconvient" it was that the family was right outside. She was upset that we couldn't just talk like normal, because they were there.

What?! You're upset because a family is being completely torn apart, and needs a place to mourn?

She then proceeded to ask me why I left, and I told her it was hard for me to be around the crying. She went on about "Oh I know, it's so annoying." Um, no. It's hard, because my family was there just a couple of months ago. I watched my sister, mother, father, and all of Tim's family weep. I could only imagine what the mom and dad were like in the room. I explained how it became too much for me to relive. To this she replied, "Well, it's not the same you know. They actually had a baby. Yours died before you had it."

Yes, you're right. Thank you. It's not the same, but it hurts either way.

I just wanted to slap her. She's currently pregnant herself, and contiuously talks about how worried she is that something is wrong. Now she's discrediting my child and my grief? Who does she think she is?
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  #2  
December 11th, 2010, 11:47 AM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
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I think I would have smacked her. What an oblivious twit. Show a little compassion lady!

I'm sorry for that family, and for how raw it was for you. It would have been hard for me too.

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  #3  
December 11th, 2010, 12:57 PM
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Yeah, I think I would have let her have it. I am shocked.
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  #4  
December 11th, 2010, 02:24 PM
NutMeg76's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I had the same thought as Brittanie, I would have slapped her!
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  #5  
December 11th, 2010, 05:38 PM
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HUGS sweety. I don't know if I would have been able to contain myself either! I lash out so easily lately, so I think she would have gotten told off in a couple of languages. First to be so uncaring about that poor family's loss & her presumptive knowledge of what your grief should be - UGHHHH! Some people just have no empathy
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  #6  
December 11th, 2010, 05:53 PM
SarahBethsMommy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Wow, how in the world did you contain yourself? I don't know that I could have done it. I might have had an all out brawl with the pregnant woman right there at work.
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  #7  
December 11th, 2010, 09:03 PM
liz bevan's Avatar Super Mommy
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wow , I can't believe some people.
I know i would have slapped her.
Some people just dont have compassion
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  #8  
December 12th, 2010, 01:07 AM
claire1979's Avatar mummy to a special angel
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omg i'd have ripped her another a hole!!! grief stricken parents annoying! how very rude!!! well i hope god forbid its never her family grief stricken out side the desk.
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  #9  
December 12th, 2010, 03:00 PM
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Wow, there are no words. I can't believe her comments and behavior.
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  #10  
December 12th, 2010, 06:06 PM
rebeccabaltimore and more's Avatar (rebeccabaltimore)
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Next time she is worrying over something, ask her why she is worried, she hasn't "had it" yet so if it dies it doesn't matter"
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  #11  
December 12th, 2010, 09:15 PM
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Wow, all I can say is wow. I would have gone off on her. You're right: who does she think she is. She sounds awful.
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  #12  
December 13th, 2010, 08:31 AM
AndyBee's Avatar Super Mommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rebeccabaltimore and more View Post
Next time she is worrying over something, ask her why she is worried, she hasn't "had it" yet so if it dies it doesn't matter"
You know, I just might.

I'm completely baffled by her actions, but don't really know what to do. I don't want to cause any problems at work, but I don't want to let it slide either.
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  #13  
December 13th, 2010, 04:28 PM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
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I think Rebecca has it right. Don't say it viciously or anything, just matter-of-factly and then walk away.

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  #14  
December 22nd, 2010, 03:47 AM
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That would gave been horrible difficult for me I wonder who does she think she is? What a piece of work
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