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It feels like they stole our quote


Forum: Stillbirth

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  #1  
March 24th, 2011, 02:06 PM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
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Wall Appliqué - Dream Of Angels : Target

Why do people call their living children "angels"? They aren't! It bothers me.
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  #2  
March 24th, 2011, 04:26 PM
noworries
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Yeah, that quote definitely should not be used for living children.
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  #3  
March 24th, 2011, 07:57 PM
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Even before I went with through this, I always equated the term 'angels' with babies that had passed. I agree, it shouldn't be used for live babies.
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  #4  
March 24th, 2011, 08:01 PM
MeganMomof5's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I agree...I've seen some names on JM (screen names) where they refer to their living children as angels...It's always bothered me.
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  #5  
March 24th, 2011, 09:22 PM
Mom 2 Avery's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I knew a lady that kept referring to her toddler as her angel. One day, I snapped. I yelled, I cried and then I was beyond indignant...
You get to complain about all the things she does that you don't like...
You have a child...I HAVE AN ANGEL!!!

Needless to say, we're no longer speaking...
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  #6  
March 25th, 2011, 12:11 AM
claire1979's Avatar mummy to a special angel
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i agree, i never refer to any living child as an angel,
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  #7  
March 25th, 2011, 07:16 AM
Ben,Logan&Kaitlin'sMommy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I do not like that at all!
they totally took our quote -
I hate it too when people referring to their children as angels - sigh
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  #8  
March 25th, 2011, 08:41 AM
lunarmagic's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Agreed, I avoid the term "angels" like the plague unless it's referring to a dead child. (And since I'm not religious at all, I avoid it even then.) I can sort of see why people do it when they have no concept of dead children, "you're such an angel!" type of thing. I certainly never thought about it before Devin. But I really can't get past it now.
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  #9  
March 25th, 2011, 11:08 AM
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I hope you ladies don't mind me posting here. I often refer to my son as "angel" as a term of endearment. I think I'll be changing it to "pumpkin." I never thought of the term being hurtful to anyone. I have never experienced the loss of a child, but I would never ever do or say anything to hurt the feelings of someone who has. I would hate to be out somewhere, say it, and have someone who has experienced that loss hear it.
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  #10  
March 25th, 2011, 01:15 PM
Fluffy Baby's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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It upsets me too. Oh and that quote TOTALLY PISSES ME OFF!

End rant. That is our thing. We don't get to hold our kids anymore. I HELD an angel, you don't hold them daily!!!!!
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  #11  
March 25th, 2011, 03:25 PM
SarahBethsMommy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Huh. I don't like they took that quote and changed it. BUT... I don't think of my son as an angel. I know that people who die aren't angels, angels are actually created beings of God. So, I guess I don't mind when people use it as a term of endearment for their child. I do call my living children angels, just as much as I call them boogers... LOL.
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  #12  
March 25th, 2011, 04:25 PM
noworries
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Quote:
Originally Posted by *Jennifer* View Post
I hope you ladies don't mind me posting here. I often refer to my son as "angel" as a term of endearment. I think I'll be changing it to "pumpkin." I never thought of the term being hurtful to anyone. I have never experienced the loss of a child, but I would never ever do or say anything to hurt the feelings of someone who has. I would hate to be out somewhere, say it, and have someone who has experienced that loss hear it.
We don't at all mind you posting here. We completely understand that someone calling their child angel has no intention of hurting someone else. It's thoughtful of you to care enough to be mindful of people around you who may have experienced the loss of a child.

Beth, I also don't believe that my Eli is an angel but I still feel a connection with the quote that was used and when I hear it, I think of a child that has died, therefore I do not think it is appropriate for a living child. But, before Eli, I probably would not have thought anything of it so obviously our experiences change our perspective.
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  #13  
March 25th, 2011, 06:22 PM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
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Quote:
Originally Posted by *Jennifer* View Post
I hope you ladies don't mind me posting here. I often refer to my son as "angel" as a term of endearment. I think I'll be changing it to "pumpkin." I never thought of the term being hurtful to anyone. I have never experienced the loss of a child, but I would never ever do or say anything to hurt the feelings of someone who has. I would hate to be out somewhere, say it, and have someone who has experienced that loss hear it.
I don't mind either you posting either.


It doesn't actually bother me when I'm talking to the person face to face, but when I see it in writing or on clothing or on quotes, it makes me cringe. And this particular quote has been used on our stillbirth board siggies and blinkies, so it really was like a slap in the face when I saw it.
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  #14  
March 25th, 2011, 07:32 PM
rebeccabaltimore and more's Avatar (rebeccabaltimore)
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I hope this doesn't offend anyone, but I don't know why anyone would call ANY child, living or dead, and angel. I think we can all agree that angels are supernatural creatures, biblical in origin. Biblical angels aren't always sweet, caring and nice. They are flawed, just like humans, and they do some pretty horrible **** (in fact that's their job). These angels, these seraphim, well there is a lot of biblical text discussing and describing them. There are distinct classes of angels, when I think of cherubs, I don't think of cute little angel babies, I think of THESE guys:
Quote:
The prophet Ezekiel describes them as a tetrad of living creatures, each having four faces: of a lion, an ox, an eagle (or griffon vulture[2]), and a man. They are said to have the stature and hands of a man, the feet of a calf, and four wings
.

So in fact, I have a lot of trouble when people call my children angels babies. A LOT of trouble. And that is the terminology in the pregnancy loss community. Angel babies and angel mommies and angelversaries. My kid is NOT one of those creatures, and he was born, so he gets a BIRTHday just like he deserves.

/rant

And I wouldn't call Grant an angel either. I think it's ironic that people use that term when their kids are behaving given how angels have behaved.
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Last edited by rebeccabaltimore and more; March 25th, 2011 at 07:34 PM.
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  #15  
March 26th, 2011, 06:41 PM
Fluffy Baby's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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^^ But not everybody is religious or believe that.

I also believe that angels are a seperate "species" created by God and there are diffent levels of them. I don't believe in the Bible, so it holds no water to me what it says.

My child is an "angel" to me because it sounds better than "dead baby" or even stillborn.

ETA: I do not believe that angels are anything but the highest beauty and almost perfection. Nobody is as perfect as God, but angels come close. I do not think angels do bad things, not in my heaven.
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Last edited by Fluffy Baby; March 26th, 2011 at 06:55 PM.
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  #16  
March 27th, 2011, 07:26 PM
austinmommy3's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fluffy Baby View Post

My child is an "angel" to me because it sounds better than "dead baby" or even stillborn.

ETA: I do not believe that angels are anything but the highest beauty and almost perfection. Nobody is as perfect as God, but angels come close. I do not think angels do bad things, not in my heaven.

Ditto. My rainbow children like to refer to their older sister as their Guardian Angel who watches over them every day, it makes them feel close to her.
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  #17  
March 27th, 2011, 09:31 PM
Jessido's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Before I lost Liam, I had no experience with these boards and did not even know that it was common to refer to babies that had passed away as "angels". I always used to rub my belly and say "you're my angel!" because I associated them with living babies, I guess. I dont know.

When Liam died and I realized that its common to refer to our passed on babies as "angels" it really upset me that I had been calling him that for months.
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  #18  
March 28th, 2011, 02:08 PM
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It's funny. Not having any particular religious beliefs, I never call Declan and Eva angels and it never bothers me when people refer to living children as angels. That being said, I don't like the use of that quote for living children. I do feel possessive of it, although I'm not sure why.
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  #19  
April 10th, 2011, 12:03 AM
NutMeg76's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I am another one that doe snot refer to my stillborn baby as an angel. He is a saint. If a human dies and goes to Heaven, as babies and children do, they are considered saints. It bothers me when people refer to Colm as an angel.

I don't care that others call their stillborn children angels. It doesn't bother me when people call living children angels either.
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