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Not my Ethan of course. He's nearing 2.5, even though he's not here. But Grant goes to daycare, and one of his friends is named Ethan. That is the Ethan who turned one today. It's so weird when I go to pick him up, sometimes I hear their teacher addressing them. "Ethan, don't push Grant" or "Grant, give Ethan back his pacifier, yours is over here." SO WEIRD. Ethan is a very sweet kid, and he and Grant like to hang out together, so of course I wished him a happy birthday today, but it was weird because the only other times I have said the words "happy birthday Ethan" have been on MY Ethan's birthdays. And twice already I have signed my name next to the other Ethan's on the daycare pickup sheet.
So far, none of this has made me sad. But I hear myself and other people saying these things, it feels like I have fallen into some parallel universe where he ISN'T dead, and it's just bizarre. So to me, it's bizarre to have two LIVING children, and it's normal to have one living and one dead. That is my normal. Is it just me, or is that a really ****** up normal?
where i work there is a little girl called jessica, at first i couldn't bring self to say her name saying the name out loud really effected me. then when keeley started going and saying her name got a little easier to say i hit another hurdle....seeing jessica and keeley play together and hearing someone say come ''come here keeley and jessica'' and also seeing them hold hands that was so hard to see