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Question for a friend (Stillborn Full Term Ment)


Forum: Stillbirth

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  #1  
June 1st, 2011, 10:40 AM
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Hi ladies. Some of you might know me from TTC After Loss. For those of you who do not know me I have had 7 m/c with 8 angels (one set of twins). Two days ago a girl I went to school with had her sweet baby girl named Ella Nikole and she was born still. I want to reach out to her and do anything I can for her. I have had losses so I know the pain but I'm unsure as to what will help comfort her. Any suggestions will be greatly appreciated.
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  #2  
June 1st, 2011, 11:43 AM
claire1979's Avatar mummy to a special angel
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hi katie just let her know that your there for her, a card or a hug, maybe some flowers

so sorry for your friends loss x
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  #3  
June 1st, 2011, 12:55 PM
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Let her talk about her baby girl without making her feel awkward. Ask her about her baby girl (who she looked like, etc.). Just be there to listen. Don't tell her how she should be feeling or for how long (I'm sure you understand all of that since you have experienced loss yourself). Call Ella by name.
One thing I was afraid of when my Eli was stillborn is that he would be forgotten so it was always nice when people remembered a month or two down the road. So maybe on the one month or six month or even year anniversary of Ella's birth, send her a card letting her know that you remember.
I don't know how close you are to this person but if you are close, go over and clean her kitchen or do her laundry or go grocery shopping for her. Those things are so much harder to do when you are enveloped in grief. Take her a meal.
You are a sweet, considerate person for trying to do what you can for this friend of yours. I am so sorry for her loss and for the losses that you have experienced. I hope you get your rainbow baby soon.
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  #4  
June 1st, 2011, 02:40 PM
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Thanks ladies. We keep in contact via facebook but haven't talked much since school. I'm going to call her tonight to talk. I know thinks that helped me but I want to make sure I'm doing everything I can for her. You ladies understand that pain and I wish no one ever had to.
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