Log In Sign Up

visiting the gravesite or memorial site


Forum: Stillbirth

Notices

Welcome to the JustMommies Message Boards.

We pride ourselves on having the friendliest and most welcoming forums for moms and moms to be! Please take a moment and register for free so you can be a part of our growing community of mothers. If you have any problems registering please drop an email to boards@justmommies.com.

Our community is moderated by our moderation team so you won't see spam or offensive messages posted on our forums. Each of our message boards is hosted by JustMommies hosts, whose names are listed at the top each board. We hope you find our message boards friendly, helpful, and fun to be on!

Reply Post New Topic
  Subscribe To Stillbirth LinkBack Topic Tools Search this Topic Display Modes
  #1  
July 4th, 2011, 05:38 AM
Ben,Logan&Kaitlin'sMommy's Avatar Super Moderator
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Beaverbank, Nova Scotia
Posts: 19,417
Send a message via MSN to Ben,Logan&Kaitlin'sMommy Send a message via Yahoo to Ben,Logan&Kaitlin'sMommy
I have Rebecca buried at a grave yard approx 5 minutes from our new house - I wanted to be in Bedford where I grew up and where she is buried to be close to her.

we have been home for almost a week now and I still haven't had the courage to go to her grave.

I feel like I am letting her down.
Ben has asked to go but I still can't bring myself to go.

She has been gone 7.5 years and it feels like yesterday
espically being pregnant with a little girl again
__________________
Jenn
Marsha's Girlfriend

My Kiddos
Chloe (14),
Benjamin (9)
Logan (6), Kaitlin (3)



εϊз Some People Dream of Angels But I Held One In My Arms εϊз
Rebecca Lee Stillborn 10-30-03
Reply With Quote
  #2  
July 4th, 2011, 10:49 AM
Veteran
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 427
I'm sorry it's so hard I didn't have the money to bury my girls, so they were cremated by the hospital and their ashes spread in the baby memorial area there. I now live across the country, so I cannot visit them. I tried to place a memorial spot in a cemetery where I used to live, but didn't get it paid off before I had to move, and then I needed the money for the move. I'm hoping to get together enough money to do it where I live now by their next birthday For now I have a spot on my back yard dedicated. I made 2 stepping stoned and purchased a garden angel. It all sits under a tree where I have 2 bird feeders. I love sitting out there
Reply With Quote
  #3  
July 4th, 2011, 02:15 PM
HopefulMommy81's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: California
Posts: 5,640
I think that would be very difficult. Matthew was cremated and we have his ashes in an urn here- I didn't want to have a service/burial at the time. I don't think Rebecca would think you are neglecting her or anything bad at all- she knows that you think of her often and you care about her. Can your husband take your son if he wants to go until you are ready to go?
__________________

Annalise is hoping to be a big sister on June 28, 2014. Forever missing her big brother, Matthew, stillborn on July 1, 2010.
Reply With Quote
  #4  
July 4th, 2011, 05:19 PM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Littleton, CO
Posts: 43,573


I think I'd have a hard time too, especially not having gone a while, and all the emotions it brings back.

I haven't been able to visit Jenny Lake in the last 2 1/2 years and I have no idea when we'll get to go back. *sigh*
__________________
Thanks to babydoll213 for the siggy! My kids' blog Cora's blog


Reply With Quote
  #5  
July 4th, 2011, 05:46 PM
Ben,Logan&Kaitlin'sMommy's Avatar Super Moderator
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Beaverbank, Nova Scotia
Posts: 19,417
Send a message via MSN to Ben,Logan&Kaitlin'sMommy Send a message via Yahoo to Ben,Logan&Kaitlin'sMommy
I have lived 4000 miles away for 4 years - Thankfully we didn't have to pay to bury her - we just had to pay the $200 to open and close her grave - her plot was donated to her.

Also I really don't know how long it has been since my DH was there - he keeps everything bottled up inside.
__________________
Jenn
Marsha's Girlfriend

My Kiddos
Chloe (14),
Benjamin (9)
Logan (6), Kaitlin (3)



εϊз Some People Dream of Angels But I Held One In My Arms εϊз
Rebecca Lee Stillborn 10-30-03
Reply With Quote
  #6  
July 5th, 2011, 12:04 AM
claire1979's Avatar mummy to a special angel
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: huddersfield, england
Posts: 33,629
Send a message via MSN to claire1979
hugs jenn, go when you are ready she will understand hun. (())
__________________




Reply With Quote
  #7  
July 5th, 2011, 03:35 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 1,585
Jen, I'm sure that your sweet Rebecca knows how much you love her. Right after Carter's death, going to the cemetary brought me some comfort, butI went on Memorial Day and I was shocked at how bitter it made me feel, I haven't been back since. We are about a 1/2 drive. We still have to have the permanent marker placed, and I keep avoiding it.
__________________
Sharon

DD Brooklynn 8-4-01
DD Libby 6-18-04
DS Gavin 8-20-08
DS Carter born still 3-2-11 (20 weeks)
It's a GIRL!!! EDD 3-6-12


Make a pregnancy ticker
Reply With Quote
  #8  
July 5th, 2011, 04:46 PM
Ben,Logan&Kaitlin'sMommy's Avatar Super Moderator
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Beaverbank, Nova Scotia
Posts: 19,417
Send a message via MSN to Ben,Logan&Kaitlin'sMommy Send a message via Yahoo to Ben,Logan&Kaitlin'sMommy
I drove by today with all intends of going in but there was people in there working on the grounds so I drove by.
__________________
Jenn
Marsha's Girlfriend

My Kiddos
Chloe (14),
Benjamin (9)
Logan (6), Kaitlin (3)



εϊз Some People Dream of Angels But I Held One In My Arms εϊз
Rebecca Lee Stillborn 10-30-03
Reply With Quote
  #9  
July 5th, 2011, 05:28 PM
Veteran
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 427
Go in when you're ready, don't push yourself.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Topic Tools Search this Topic
Search this Topic:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 02:34 PM.



Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0