We pride ourselves on having the friendliest
and most welcoming forums for moms and moms to be! Please take a moment
for free so you can be a part of our growing community of mothers.
If you have any problems registering please drop an email to email@example.com.
Our community is moderated by our moderation team so you won't see spam or offensive messages posted on our forums. Each of our message boards is hosted by JustMommies hosts, whose names are listed at the top each board. We hope you find our message boards friendly, helpful, and fun to be on!
Does everyones marriage seem to get worse after grief or just mine?
I am constantly thinking of divorce and dont want to make a mistake because Im still depressed at times over losing my baby... Everything my husband does just makes me sad and I want to leave. He is an alcoholic and admits it saying he is what he is and if I dont like it I can leave. I dont know how much more I can take. The love is gone...But I was raised in a family that doesnt believe in divorce. I just wish I never started a life with him. Sometimes things are good in our relationship for months but as soon as he starts drinking I hate him. I really want a seperation for a month to see if anything will get better. But I feel like during a seperation he will mess up our family to a point of no return.
So Im wondering if every little thing upsets me because of my loss or is this how its going to be forever??Am I ever going to be happy again?
Last edited by liza17; July 28th, 2011 at 08:27 PM.
I think the bigger issue here is your husband's alcoholism. Was he before your loss?
You need to protect yourself. Alcoholism is dangerous to mess with. And MOST of all...it's not you messing up this relationship. It's him and his addiction. Please don't blame yourself. If he's not willing to try to fix his issue, then nothing you can do can make the situation tolerable. Don't let your family be the reason you stay in a situation that isn't good for you. You deserve to be happy and if he's not willing to go to the moon and back to give that to you...then maybe you'd be better off somewhere else.
I agree with Brittanie. A loss can stress a relationship, sure, but Alchoholism hurts many many marriages. He has a problem. I'd be concerned with statements like, "This is who I am and if you don't like it, leave." If he doesn't recognize that he has a problem then it's not something you can fix. And you shouldn't have to live with that. Can you talk to him about counseling?