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Gosh ladies, I'm having a really hard time this week with this pregnancy. I am SOOOO nervous that something is wrong or is going to be wrong. Maybe it's the fact that I have an anterior placenta and so most kicks are muffled by the placenta. Maybe it's the 30% loss rate among down syndrome pregnancies that I was quoted by the genetics counselor. Maybe it's a mental thing where I just think I'm not feeling DD as much any more (not that I felt her a whole lot before, I just seem to be feeling less now). I started to clear the walls in the nursery to do some painting to get ready and I've gotten her bedding already yet in the back of my mind, I keep thinking what if I do this and something happens. I even have all the receipts and the tags on all her clothing, just in case they need to be returned. The sad part is every time I think about calling the doctor and expressing my concerns, my mind immediately goes to the fact that I'm not at 24 weeks yet and there isn't a thing they would really do for me if there was a problem. We have a fetal-echocardiogram scheduled for Wednesday and my biggest fear is that I'm going to walk in to have them look at her heart, and then not find her heartbeat. I was not this bad when it came to my first pregnancy after my loss......why is this one so much harder? A chromosomally enhanced baby? My baby girl? Is it January yet?!
Thanks for letting me get my feelings out I still try to be so upbeat and positive with those around me, it's hard to share these feelings with others.
My precious angel DS#2:
My rainbow DS#3:
My Princess #4: