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For some reason I'm having a hard night. I have been doing really well, but today my heart is aching, I miss my son. I've thought of him all day. Sorry to be a downer, I've had so many good days, and this caught me on a bad one.
DD Brooklynn 8-4-01
DD Libby 6-18-04
DS Gavin 8-20-08
DS Carter born still 3-2-11 (20 weeks)
It's a GIRL!!! EDD 3-6-12
Things are getting a little better here. It has been just over 4 weeks since I lost Lucy and Isaiah. We have just decided that we are cremating them (they have been at the funeral home this whole time). I am going to get a necklace with some of their ashes in. I can't stop obsessing about getting pregnant again and having another child. I thought I was off this horrible infertility rollercoaster and now I am right back in this position I hate. We are also thinking of trying adoption, but we have spent over $50,000 on infertility treatments in the last three years. I feel so angry that I lost my perfectly healthy babies... just wish I could make sense of things.
Oh ladies, I'm sorry that you're having a hard time.
The holidays always make me think of Cora and what would have been. My family growing up was always really big on dressing up, so I always wonder what Cora would want to dress as. Holiday traditions are always bittersweet when you're missing someone.