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Forum: Stillbirth

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  #1  
October 28th, 2011, 06:04 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: michigan
Posts: 533
Hey all,

I am so comforted reading everyone's posts in this forum. I feel like I am not alone. I lost my daughter on October 17th. I went to emergency because I thought I had the flu. I just knew something was wrong. I hadn't felt her move in a couple days. Turns out, I had preeclampsia and HELLP syndrome. I suffered from low platelet count, elevated liver enzymes, protein in my urine, and high blood pressure. It's been so difficult this past week. I just keep asking myself "why me?" But really, the question is "why anyone?" Not to go into details but doctors were negligent with me. I have lupus and had a history of chronic hypertension so I should've been medicated. I'm just having the hardest time dealing with the fact that doctors could've easily controlled my blood pressure and didn't. Ugh. So difficult to deal with shoulda, woulda, coulda's. We are pursuing a lawsuit. Although this won't bring our daughter back, I want to ensure what happened to me doesn't happen to anyone else. I feel so bad for anyone who has dealt with a stillbirth or miscarriage. This is a pain that I don't think will ever go away. It's only been over a week but I can tell I am getting stronger day by day. I don't cry all day so that's good. Prayers go out to all of you and gentle hugs.
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  #2  
October 28th, 2011, 09:40 PM
EmG EmG is offline
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Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Reno, NV
Posts: 741
I am so sorry that you are here.

I have lupus too and ended up with preeclampsia and HELLP syndrome during my last pregnancy. I however was medicated for my chronic hypertension, but we were unable to keep it under control even with meds (and we tried many different ones and combinations.)
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  #3  
October 29th, 2011, 01:10 AM
claire1979's Avatar mummy to a special angel
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: huddersfield, england
Posts: 33,629
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Im so sorry about the loss of your precious baby hun. your right about the pain never going away its been 6 years for me and my heart still aches as much as the week i lost her.

Its only been a few weeks for you hun so its still all very raw. please stay and post as much as you can/feel you need to this part of jm is amazing the support is fantastic....i love my ladies here.
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  #4  
October 29th, 2011, 11:10 AM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: michigan
Posts: 533
Quote:
Originally Posted by momma S View Post
So sorry for your loss... I lost boy/girl twins at 22 weeks on Sept 16 of this year. It has been just over 6 weeks and I do feel stronger, but still so very sad. I often wonder if things had been done differently in the hospital if my babies could have been saved. I am trying to focus on going forward since I cannot change the past. It is comforting to find others who know what this feels like. A feeling no parent should ever know.
It is definitely so comforting knowing there are others who feel the same way I do. I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my daughter not even 2 weeks ago so the pain is so new. I know for sure that I will feel stronger each day. I'm so sorry for your lost. I think for me, persuing the lawsuit provides some type of comfort. I know that doing so, the doctors included in the suit won't be able to do this again. It won't bring my daugther back but hopefully this won't happen again. Prayer and hugs go out to you!
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  #5  
October 29th, 2011, 12:01 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: michigan
Posts: 533
Quote:
Originally Posted by EmG View Post
I am so sorry that you are here.

I have lupus too and ended up with preeclampsia and HELLP syndrome during my last pregnancy. I however was medicated for my chronic hypertension, but we were unable to keep it under control even with meds (and we tried many different ones and combinations.)
Thank you! Did you end up loosing your baby?

Quote:
Originally Posted by claire1979 View Post
Im so sorry about the loss of your precious baby hun. your right about the pain never going away its been 6 years for me and my heart still aches as much as the week i lost her.

Its only been a few weeks for you hun so its still all very raw. please stay and post as much as you can/feel you need to this part of jm is amazing the support is fantastic....i love my ladies here.
Thank you! I definitely will be around. Just knowing others have experienced what I am going through is comforting.
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  #6  
October 29th, 2011, 03:57 PM
momma S's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 837
So sorry for your loss... I lost boy/girl twins at 22 weeks on Sept 16 of this year. It has been just over 6 weeks and I do feel stronger, but still so very sad. I often wonder if things had been done differently in the hospital if my babies could have been saved. I am trying to focus on going forward since I cannot change the past. It is comforting to find others who know what this feels like. A feeling no parent should ever know.
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  #7  
October 29th, 2011, 04:27 PM
FL Mama's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: FLA USA
Posts: 1,100
So so sorry for your loss. I delivered my baby on Oct 18. I, too, am trying to cope, but some days it's hard.
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  #8  
October 29th, 2011, 08:45 PM
SarahBethsMommy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 4,847
So sorry for your loss and that the doctors weren't doing as they should have!

I had pre-e and HELLP with my first pregnancy (she survived but was born at 27 weeks) and severe pre-e that didn't make it to HELLP with my other two pregnancies. One of those was my son, Bryan Luke who died at 33 weeks. We don't think it was due to the pre-e though, but no one is able to give us a reason for his death.
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  #9  
October 30th, 2011, 12:45 AM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: michigan
Posts: 533
Quote:
Originally Posted by momma S View Post
So sorry for your loss... I lost boy/girl twins at 22 weeks on Sept 16 of this year. It has been just over 6 weeks and I do feel stronger, but still so very sad. I often wonder if things had been done differently in the hospital if my babies could have been saved. I am trying to focus on going forward since I cannot change the past. It is comforting to find others who know what this feels like. A feeling no parent should ever know.
I'm so sorry for your loss! My lawyer says we definitley have a case for medical malpractice. I don't know what the outcome will be but suing the doctors actually does make me feel a little better. Them settling will probably make me feel even better because that will (in my eyes) be them admitting to doing something wrong.
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  #10  
October 30th, 2011, 12:50 AM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: michigan
Posts: 533
Quote:
Originally Posted by SarahBethsMommy View Post
So sorry for your loss and that the doctors weren't doing as they should have!

I had pre-e and HELLP with my first pregnancy (she survived but was born at 27 weeks) and severe pre-e that didn't make it to HELLP with my other two pregnancies. One of those was my son, Bryan Luke who died at 33 weeks. We don't think it was due to the pre-e though, but no one is able to give us a reason for his death.
thank you! yea, it sucks so badly that our daughter died because i didn't receive proper treatment. i'm so happy your daugther survived. it makes me so mad to know that my daughter could've survived if they had even caught the pre-e in time. it didn't have to develop into hellp syndrome. i'm so sorry for your loss with baby luke. i can't imagine the pain of carrying my daughter even further along than i did, which was 23 weeks. it seems like it would be even more devastating the longer i carried her.
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  #11  
November 2nd, 2011, 12:54 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 2,095
I'm so sorry for your loss. This is an amazing group of ladies and they have helped me so much after my stillbirths. ((hugs))
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  #12  
November 2nd, 2011, 05:36 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: michigan
Posts: 533
Quote:
Originally Posted by ~Laurie~ View Post
I'm so sorry for your loss. This is an amazing group of ladies and they have helped me so much after my stillbirths. ((hugs))
I believe it. Honestly, this is somewhere I visit very often these days. I've pretty much shut myself off from the world (family and friends). Unless you have experienced the loss of a child, you have no idea what I'm going through. So, I'd just rather not talk about it. It's so crazy also how people want to give examples of what they've experienced. . . the most difficult loss in their life (dog, dad, brother). It's so different though. Everyone's personal story is different from the next.
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